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Old 05-03-2009, 06:48 PM
Location: Charlotte, NC
4,753 posts, read 6,389,103 times
Reputation: 5221


OP, let me be direct, and not fake.

Is there anything we can do to keep you or the attitude in NYC? If you want to move here, by all means do so, but leave the attitude up north.

*In my very best fake Southerner voice* Take care ya'll.

(And people wonder why we joke around and say happiness is a northbound yankee driving a U-Haul.)

Old 05-03-2009, 06:52 PM
Location: location, location!
1,915 posts, read 1,728,411 times
Reputation: 1863
I lived in the NYC area most of my life, and the last 14 years here (Matthews area). If the OP really thinks the folks down here are phonies compared to NYC, then just stay up there. Sure, the New Yorkers are more direct -- they stab you right in the front. And manners? Fuggetaboutit. Whenever I go back north to visit, I always come back home to the South wondering how I ever lived there.
Old 05-03-2009, 07:25 PM
Location: Union County, NC
1,891 posts, read 5,540,659 times
Reputation: 749
I also moved from NY. I think wherever you are there are nice people and not-so-nice people. Stay away from the not-so-nice ones. I wouldn't generalize at all!
Old 05-03-2009, 07:36 PM
1,453 posts, read 4,682,987 times
Reputation: 734
Originally Posted by InfectedX View Post
I'm from NYC and I have some experiences in SC that I did not like at all. People were all fake-nice and would back-stab anyone and then pretend to be nice again. Southern hospitality is skin-deep and as I started - fake. Any kind of argument is seen as disrespectful (which is BS...its not disrespectful to argue!) I will be moving to Charlotte, where I heard people are AS fake and are more straight-forward. I understand it won't be as straight-forward as NYC but are people at least somewhat direct in comparison to southerners in SC and rural areas? I don't mind politeness and manners (I like it actually) but I want to be with people who can say "No" when needed, instead of saying "Sure" and not doing it.

Sounds like you've just had a bad experience with a few people. We're not all like that.
Old 05-03-2009, 07:40 PM
9,905 posts, read 9,261,200 times
Reputation: 8035
You have to realize ... Charlotte only has about 30% natives (good ole southern people) left ... the rest are folks moving in from far and yon ... so basically the majority of these fake and rude people are not real geniune Southerners. This goes for most of NC and SC. Born and raised here ... neighbor beside me is from California ... one neighbor across the road is from Virginia other neighbor is from Alaska ... I have wonderful neighbors wherever they hail from.

I cannot understand if NY or other areas are Utopia ... why move South? Darn if I would ever leave the Sacred Soil of Dixieland.
Old 05-03-2009, 08:08 PM
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 66,920,434 times
Reputation: 22369
Yes, we Southerners are fake. Totally superficial. What you see is not what you get. At least, that is how someone who comes here w/ a list of expectations - and an attitude of superiority - is going to perceive us.

Our superficial (or even - deceptive) demeanor is a skill we have carefully developed to exclude people we don't like to be around. We maintain civility at all costs, unless we can address a particular issue in such a way as to get the point across w/o being obnoxious about it. We will use all sorts of social tools to accomplish this.

That means, if we think you are a perfect ass, we admire the fact that you have perfected your asinine attitude, and we will toy w/ it. We will encourage you. We will dissect it, but w/ utmost sincerity and in the most innocuous manner we can assume. We so enjoy people making total fools of themselves. We talk about such encounters for years. They become legend. You will be forever pointed to as the penultimate example of the perfect ass.

And we will smile while we do it. And yes, we will tell you to "come on back, now!" cause we found you so entertaining, albeit in such a perverse way.

That will appear to be "fake" to you . . . to us it is as genuine as genuine can possibly be. We are genuinely nauseated by your rude, uncouth, ill-mannered, blatant, declasse attitude and your apparent lack of social skills. And we find it especially amusing that you don't have a clue how crude you appear to all of us.

We celebrate eccentricities here. We also make a lot of allowances for people. We do not understand when someone comes into our world and is so quick to point out deficiencies as if this somehow makes that person so much more perceptive than the rest of us. Do you think we don't notice what imperfections exist in our world? Do you think we were all waiting w/ bated breath for someone to arrive and "save us" from our ignorance? Gosh, we didn't know a whole world existed outside the 60 mile circumference we all live in here in MECK.

So we will be polite. Honey, we may even shuffle and jive. We know there is no way you are going to fit in w/ us b/c your values are not our values and your condescending attitude smacks of a self-assigned (and undeserved) superiority. So we just smile and endure you in all your arrogance - your all-knowing smugness.

So if that makes us fake . . . that's okay. At least we didn't do/say what we felt like doing/saying, wh/ would have been to tell you to take your self-importance and stick it where the sun don't shine . . .

Ask for help; ask for explanations; ask for guidance. Southerners are, as a group, generous and quick to assist. But don't act like you have it all figured out and are gonna set us all straight about how things are just not quite up to your standards here. You see, we don't give a fat rat's ass what your standards/expectations are. WE ALREADY HAVE OUR SET OF VALUES. Anyone who has the audacity to come here and cross that line with us . . . will never be embraced.

If that makes us fake b/c we choose not to re-educate you about your misconceptions and rude affect . . . so what? That was your momma's job, not ours.

ETA: This explanation is in no way aimed at anyone in specific, or as a response to any one post, in particular . . .

Last edited by brokensky; 05-03-2009 at 08:18 PM..
Old 05-03-2009, 08:17 PM
Location: The Queen City
444 posts, read 1,026,372 times
Reputation: 173
We are what we are. If you dont like that get out!
Old 05-03-2009, 08:33 PM
1,039 posts, read 2,662,902 times
Reputation: 481
Yes we are horrible people to live with; I've tried to scrub the Southern right off me but it just won't go anywhere. I strongly recommend you staying far, far away as it can be extremely contagious. Good thing you got your post answered now you can stay up North and not have to live with us
Old 05-03-2009, 08:39 PM
50 posts, read 121,463 times
Reputation: 36
Ani - that was perfect!
Old 05-03-2009, 08:51 PM
Location: Charlotte, NC
186 posts, read 391,742 times
Reputation: 112
Originally Posted by vindaloo View Post
Could be two reasons for your discontent. First, you are having an awful time finding anyone that wishes to associate with you, or you miss mommie and want to go home.
That is the stupidest reply I have ever heard! I mean, really... I try to help the OP with my experience (and have gotten SEVERAL rep comments from people saying they agree with me and have experienced the same thing) and you come up with a totally immature and lame response. The purpose of this forum is to help people with their decision to move and to give them honest feedback. And, now I get blasted for it?

I am not discontented in any way. I have made many friends, although I have also learned who to stay away from as I do not need drama in my life. Secondly, I am lucky I have a mom who can visit me as it is always hard when you move away from those you love. However, the person I miss the most is my dad who died when I was 22. It is not discontent I feel at all living here- it is wanting to make a life for myself with my husband and try and forge new, happier memories to replace the grief in my life. And, I don't need fake, superficial people in my life not being true friends to me. I have sadly learned life is way too short and I want to spend mine with people who genuinely care about me and who build me up- not tear me down.
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