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Anti- I believe that locals are so used to hearing so much criticism about greeting strangers on the street, welcoming neighbors, invitations to churches, and other forms of genuine kindness that it is no longer a common practice. Natives don't want to annoy newcomers and be criticized. I have spend all of my adult life in large cities. I like a combination of city amenities, friendliness, and hospitality. Pretty scarce these days. Unfortunately, I suppose we will have to accept that things have changed and our culture has been diluted. Nevertheless, I shall continue to be friendly, hospitable, and a motor mouth so help me god.
You go, Vin! LOL!! Me, too - right there w/ you.
I loved the Midwest - truly I did. It was very different, tho. I moved back here ready to enjoy that Southern friendliness I had left - and what a shock! NOT HERE! I had been coming back to our little place in the mountains several times a year - and as I mentioned, Boone is a very friendly spot. So I never even thought about Charlotte having changed. I was so surprised. I was told that it just isn't COOL to be so friendly - doesn't seem very sophisticated. HUH? Yep. Told that by a Chicagoan who was turned off by my friendliness, LOL. Said it makes people look unsophisticated and country to go around grinning and being friendly.
So I guess I will just have to be perceived as a hick, cause I tend to walk around smiling, even in my house by myself, LOL. I heard long ago that you will get less wrinkles if you smile all the time, so I started doing that in my 20s. Then I found out that the body releases endorphins when we smile (even FORCE a smile!!!) so I decided - heck - keep smiling, Anifani - less wrinkles and instant natural happy pill all day long, LOL!!!! Works for me. I would rather be told I am unsophisticated than wrinkled up and mean.
Southern hospitality is alive and well in Lincoln County. Even though I am from the north people have been very friendly to me. If you are friendly it doesn't matter where you are from. We have had more invites to go to church with people we have just met(never had that up north). Our neighbors are great. We often have get togethers. The ladies in the neighborhood try to get together at least twice a month and the families get together every so often and have bbq's and work on keeping the neighborhood looking nice by helping each other out clearing out fallen limbs and trees from the common area each others property. Neighbors helping neighbors, it's great!!!!
I loved the Midwest - truly I did. It was very different, tho. I moved back here ready to enjoy that Southern friendliness I had left - and what a shock! NOT HERE! I had been coming back to our little place in the mountains several times a year - and as I mentioned, Boone is a very friendly spot. So I never even thought about Charlotte having changed. I was so surprised. I was told that it just isn't COOL to be so friendly - doesn't seem very sophisticated. HUH? Yep. Told that by a Chicagoan who was turned off by my friendliness, LOL. Said it makes people look unsophisticated and country to go around grinning and being friendly.
So I guess I will just have to be perceived as a hick, cause I tend to walk around smiling, even in my house by myself, LOL. I heard long ago that you will get less wrinkles if you smile all the time, so I started doing that in my 20s. Then I found out that the body releases endorphins when we smile (even FORCE a smile!!!) so I decided - heck - keep smiling, Anifani - less wrinkles and instant natural happy pill all day long, LOL!!!! Works for me. I would rather be told I am unsophisticated than wrinkled up and mean.
LOL!! Ani your great!!!!! Keep smiling, it can be contagious.
Thanx, SSD!! Now, what you are describing - that is the South I remember. And I think it still exists in areas outside Charlotte. I am sooooo glad you have been welcomed here. Moving is HARD and at least if people are kind to you when you try to settle in a new community, it makes things a little less difficult. And I am so glad you "got it" about people inviting you to church. It is just a friendly gesture to offer a social group to a newcomer in hopes he/she will find it helpful for settling in. It is not to try to evangelize to the world or make a newcomer feel pressured by religion, LOL!! So glad you knew that this was simply a friendly gesture (and not a judgment!)
Glad you like my smile theory. I swear it works!!! I even use different styles. I have my Scarlett O'Hara smile (sweet and fake) . . . my Bridgette Jones smile (embarrassed but covering well) . . . my Head of State Smile (friendly but restrained and proper - no teeth showing, lol) . . . my Anchor Smile (tolerant but unbiased!) etc.
Walk around in the grocery store w/ your Mysterious Smile. Or the All-Knowing Wise Woman Smile. People will think you are sooooo serene and they will be drawn to you. Try it! You will have people hanging all over your grocery cart and chatting w/ you in check out lines, LOL!!!!!!!!!
Thanx, SSD!! Now, what you are describing - that is the South I remember. And I think it still exists in areas outside Charlotte. I am sooooo glad you have been welcomed here. Moving is HARD and at least if people are kind to you when you try to settle in a new community, it makes things a little less difficult. And I am so glad you "got it" about people inviting you to church. It is just a friendly gesture to offer a social group to a newcomer in hopes he/she will find it helpful for settling in. It is not to try to evangelize to the world or make a newcomer feel pressured by religion, LOL!! So glad you knew that this was simply a friendly gesture (and not a judgment!)
Glad you like my smile theory. I swear it works!!! I even use different styles. I have my Scarlett O'Hara smile (sweet and fake) . . . my Bridgette Jones smile (embarrassed but covering well) . . . my Head of State Smile (friendly but restrained and proper - no teeth showing, lol) . . . my Anchor Smile (tolerant but unbiased!) etc.
Walk around in the grocery store w/ your Mysterious Smile. Or the All-Knowing Wise Woman Smile. People will think you are sooooo serene and they will be drawn to you. Try it! You will have people hanging all over your grocery cart and chatting w/ you in check out lines, LOL!!!!!!!!!
You crack me up!!!!!
About being invited to church, we do not typically go to church and we certainly have not really gone to any other church other than what we were raised in. We have always had an open mind to other peoples choices and beliefs. The fact that they thought enough to invite us, we feel that we think enough about them to accept their invitation and enjoy the day with our new friends. It may not be the church we are looking for but the the people who invited us are people we would like to know better. What better way then to join them in something they like to do and I am sure they would like to join us in something we like. I am not judging them and they are not judging me. We are two different families from different upbringings, getting together and enjoying each others company.
I was told that it just isn't COOL to be so friendly - doesn't seem very sophisticated. HUH? Yep. Told that by a Chicagoan who was turned off by my friendliness, LOL. Said it makes people look unsophisticated and country to go around grinning and being friendly.
I'm not entirely sure how they make a logical connection between the two, however would have to make an assumption that a large amount of friendliness equates (a least in this person's mind) to naivety and/or the ignorance of tragedy. I guess you can't please everyone.
One thing urban gentry and other sophists have a problem grasping in their pursuit for culture and knowledge is wisdom's delivered from more than one messenger.
This forum has the strangest bumps. Do you guys spend hours reading through 1.5 years of threads just to bump a random one?? Not that I mind, just wondering how it happens?
This forum has the strangest bumps. Do you guys spend hours reading through 1.5 years of threads just to bump a random one?? Not that I mind, just wondering how it happens?
Bump occurred: 03-29-09
Who: thestakes
How many posts total: 1
This person is new to the forum, and probably did a forum search on the topic. As a result, we have a bump that digs a thread out of 1.5 years of slumber.
I'm not entirely sure how they make a logical connection between the two, however would have to make an assumption that a large amount of friendliness equates (a least in this person's mind) to naivety and/or the ignorance of tragedy. I guess you can't please everyone.
One thing urban gentry and other sophists have a problem grasping in their pursuit for culture and knowledge is wisdom's delivered from more than one messenger.
Okay, Art. That was profound. And oh-so-true. We can learn from the most humble person - or from the most absurd of circumstances. I try to stay open to the universe - you never know what gift (or lesson) is to be learned from the moment.
Thanks for your insight. It really puts things in perspective.
Location: The place where the road & the sky collide
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Orangeish
This forum has the strangest bumps. Do you guys spend hours reading through 1.5 years of threads just to bump a random one?? Not that I mind, just wondering how it happens?
I've been known to run across something that answers a question in an older thread, dig up the thread & post the answer. I figure they might have found the answer, but if they didn't, better late than never.
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