Marry your baby daddy day.... (live, legally, place)

[Chromekitty]

It is a sad day when a local group has to put the wheels in place for individuals to do
*the right thing*.

[BrianH1970]

Originally Posted by CharlotteGal

Wow - So these couples are doing the work necessary to form a strong family, and all people are seeing are the negatives, and ways to ridicule them?

How 'bout meeting them where they are? They need support, not judgment.

These are real people, real men and women with lives and histories and choices, just like all of us here. They're taking steps to make their kids' lives more stable - and if they weren't, I know some of you would be judging them for that!

I'm curious...and I'll put it bluntly because that's what I tend to do...

If the kid wasn't in the picture I'd bet they wouldn't have married each other to begin with. Of the ten families pictured, how many of them really married for love? If they married just for the children and not out of love, they ain't gonna last.

It's a nice try but unless they married for each other as well as the children, bad move. Real bad move.

[mullman]

I married my babies' mama.
Well, a few years before she was my baby mama.
Still love her.

[Hoagie58]

Originally Posted by BrianH1970

I'm curious...and I'll put it bluntly because that's what I tend to do...

If the kid wasn't in the picture I'd bet they wouldn't have married each other to begin with. Of the ten families pictured, how many of them really married for love? If they married just for the children and not out of love, they ain't gonna last.

It's a nice try but unless they married for each other as well as the children, bad move. Real bad move.

Seriously? You can tell if those 10 couples loved one another based on their pictures?? Could ya throw me Saturdays lottery numbers too?

I submit that there is no reason other than love for these couples to marry. What have they gained otherwise? This seems like an opportunity for some of these kids to grow up with the 2 parents they deserve.

[sophialee]

Originally Posted by Hoagie58

Dont these folks deserve some credit for doing the right thing? Sure, in an ideal world everyone would be married before they gave birth (hell, they'd be married before they even had sex), but at least these couples are trying to get it right. Recently read a statistic that said 36% of all births were to unmarried women, and 32% of couples living together are unmarried- certainly scary stuff!!

I'm not against them getting married and whatnot....it's just the whole title of "Marry Your Baby Daddy Day" seems to cheapen the institution of marriage..to me. Idk, I guess I just don't like the name they gave it. Seems a tad ghetto, just keeping it real. LOL.

Oh..and WELCOME BACK BRIAN! Haven't seen you around here i ages it seems like!

[sheenie2000]

Originally Posted by BrianH1970

I'm curious...and I'll put it bluntly because that's what I tend to do...

If the kid wasn't in the picture I'd bet they wouldn't have married each other to begin with. Of the ten families pictured, how many of them really married for love? If they married just for the children and not out of love, they ain't gonna last.

How many people marry for love and it last? If two people are compatible and share a goal of having a successful family for the rest of their lives, then it can work.

[baybook]

The title comes from the name of a book. The author of the book held a contest a few years ago and other folks are now doing the same thing across the country. I think the folks have to go through some planning and counseling to participate. I believe the original intent was to encourage people that lived together with children that were putting off getting married to go ahead and do it.

Ultimately society benefits when people do the right thing. Children that grow up in stable homes do better in life. That's good for all of us. Not my cup of tea, but it really isn't for someone like me.

[anifani821]

I applaud anyone for trying to make stronger family unions.

I also liked what CharlotteGal said - about "meeting people where they are."

What bugs me is . . . all it takes to get married is a marriage license, a judge and 2 witnesses. It doesn't take a wedding. A wedding does not a marriage make.

So my thoughts are . . . if people just wanna get married . . . why does it take an EVENT for them to go get married?

Now, I am probably a lot more liberal on this issue than a lot of folks. If people want to procreate without being married . . .I am not gonna judge that. Their business. What upsets me about people having multiple children without being married is from a fiscal standpoint - if that momma then needs to use my tax dollars monthly to feed those children. That is what aggravates me. But if someone wants to have children and can provide for them on their own . . . without a daddy in the picture . . . well, I am not gonna judge them for that.

Sociologists tell us it is better for children to be raised in a two parent home. I know from experience it sure is a helluva lot better to have a partner (and notice - I am not saying it has to be a mommy and a daddy - again - I am not going to judge gay partners who want to raise children - these are not my issues). But let's be frank here. About half of all marriages end in divorce . . . and blended families are as common as families of origin.

So all the talk about - what is best for families, etc doesnt mean a whole lot when it comes down to the reality of life as we all experience it.

What bugs me is that people feel they can make the decision to become a legal unit once someone is generous enuff to ante up for a freebie wedding. If people want to get married and can't afford a wedding . . . then they have a method for doing that. So it makes me wonder - why is the wedding the thing that lures folks into finally agreeing to make their union legal? Why not just a commitment to one another - and those kids?

And in closing this rambling post . . . I still go back to what CharlotteGal said . . . if this will bring some stability to the lives of families who don't have married parents . . . then even if it is does seem kinda tacky . . . isn't it done in good faith and something that should be supported?

[searpr]

Originally Posted by anifani821

I applaud anyone for trying to make stronger family unions.

I also liked what CharlotteGal said - about "meeting people where they are."

What bugs me is . . . all it takes to get married is a marriage license, a judge and 2 witnesses. It doesn't take a wedding. A wedding does not a marriage make.

So my thoughts are . . . if people just wanna get married . . . why does it take an EVENT for them to go get married?

Now, I am probably a lot more liberal on this issue than a lot of folks. If people want to procreate without being married . . .I am not gonna judge that. Their business. What upsets me about people having multiple children without being married is from a fiscal standpoint - if that momma then needs to use my tax dollars monthly to feed those children. That is what aggravates me. But if someone wants to have children and can provide for them on their own . . . without a daddy in the picture . . . well, I am not gonna judge them for that.

Sociologists tell us it is better for children to be raised in a two parent home. I know from experience it sure is a helluva lot better to have a partner (and notice - I am not saying it has to be a mommy and a daddy - again - I am not going to judge gay partners who want to raise children - these are not my issues). But let's be frank here. About half of all marriages end in divorce . . . and blended families are as common as families of origin.

So all the talk about - what is best for families, etc doesnt mean a whole lot when it comes down to the reality of life as we all experience it.

What bugs me is that people feel they can make the decision to become a legal unit once someone is generous enuff to ante up for a freebie wedding. If people want to get married and can't afford a wedding . . . then they have a method for doing that. So it makes me wonder - why is the wedding the thing that lures folks into finally agreeing to make their union legal? Why not just a commitment to one another - and those kids?

And in closing this rambling post . . . I still go back to what CharlotteGal said . . . if this will bring some stability to the lives of families who don't have married parents . . . then even if it is does seem kinda tacky . . . isn't it done in good faith and something that should be supported?

Well said, as usual. And I really agree with what you said about a wedding does not a marriage make. I think our society puts too much emphasis on THE DAY and not the marriage and how to make it work.

[baybook]

I don't think these people are on the system etc. I think they are people that for whatever reason live together, have been together and just have not made the plunge. They are already raising chidlren as a two parent family - just not legally. In this case, the mom and dad are both in the picture.

I don't know if the interviews are online now but the reason's range from not having the $$ for a church wedding, being embarrassed that they haven't done it, living together before a child and claiming that it was just a piece of paper. I think there was one couple that had planned a wedding twice but postponed because of a sick parent, then some type of job loss.

I think the goal is to encourage people to think about their situation and encourage them to do better. It really is supposed to be a celebration of people getting married for the right reasons and an event that brings attention to a national problem