Husband working and living alone, without family, in Charlotte. Are their others out there in same situation? (Raleigh: for rent, house)

[blondebelle]

My husband took a job in Charlotte this past June. We were hoping to relocate to the Charlotte area but have run into several roadblocks due to the economy. He is very lonely being there with his family still at home. Are there others out there who are on this same situation? Is there any sort of group or network he could join of similar people?

[CVP]

We did this for a year ourselves and it was tough indeed, so I feel for you and your family. How far away do you live from Charlotte? Is it possible for your husband to fly or drive home on weekends or for you to come here for short visits? My husband is very good at finding cheap plane fares, so he managed to fly home frequently from whatever airport had the best deals (sometimes CLT, but often out of Greensboro or even Greenville-Spartanburg and Raleigh). In addition, he often flew into airports that were 2-3 hours from our home in PA, so I would have to drive a distance to pick him up. It was worth it though.

Are you unable to move yet because you are trying to sell your home? I'm sorry I don't know of any support groups. Does he have any friends here from work? My husband rented a room from a single co-worker, so that helped us financially and he had some companionship at times. Not the same as being with your family though. There's no place like home!

[anifani821]

My family also went through this. I wish I knew of some sort of meet-up group for displaced family members but I am not aware of one. I know of three other folks dealing with this same situation here in Charlotte right now. With the economy being so tough a lot of families are staying behind while one spouse moves on, hoping that the house will be sold so everyone can be reunited in Charlotte.

I would suggest thinking about joining the YMCA - at least that would be a place your hubby could go in the evenings and be around other people.

As CVP said, we were constantly scouring every resource to find cheap airfare. I would fly into Greensboro, Johnson City, TN, Asheville, Raleigh - wherever we could get cheap airfare - and hubby picked me up so we could spend the weekend together. I drove from Kansas to NC in between flights so that we were never apart more than 3-4 weeks at a stretch w/o seeing one another. Our son moved in w/ Dad while I stayed behind once school was out. We did everything possible to try to stay connected, but it is never easy when families are in two different locations.

I hope you will be able to get your family reunited soon.

[blondebelle]

Thank you so much for your reply.

The first issue we ran into is that I am unable to secure either temp or full time work in Charlotte. I'm a self employed art director/graphic designer and I freelance for a lot of the Rx Advertising Agencies here in NJ (home of Big Pharma) I've applied for [fulltime] jobs in the Charlotte area that I feel
I quality for but get no response what so ever.

I spoke with one Charlotte agency owner who told me, basically, to give up. He did not see any recovery in the foreseeable future for the Charlotte economy.

The next issue we ran into is that we have 7 acres of land here in NJ and we have two horses. To buy that size lot in Charlotte, with a home that doesn't need to be torn down and rebuilt, is beyond our financial means. It's more expensive than NJ. Who knew that Charlotte was the land of the subdivision, with all those homes squeezed onto tiny lots. As you are from PA, you may know what I mean. There's a large choice of lot sizes in the tri-state area. I'd always heard that Charlotte was so affordable, but if you are looking for a larger size lot, with a decent home, it's almost impossible to find and is impossible to afford. I guess the next choice would be to build, but we still have the employment issue on my end.

My husband has literally never lived on his own. Went to college from home, married straight from college into his first home.

I though there might be others in the same situation, living away from home, no friends or relatives. I know my husband would be interested in networking with others in the same boat. Not to whine and complain but to offer each other support.

Thanks again
Sue

[pink caddy]

It's funny how this thread made me think of my grandfather. Born in Italy and came to the U.S. alone. One day I was looking at a family chart and saw that my father, one of six children, was two years apart from his sister. In fact, all the children were two years apart. Grandpa went back to Italy every two years while making money here in the U.S. Eventually brought each and everyone of his children and wife here. My father was first at the age of 17 and lived with his father in a boarding house.

Sorry to digress.

[blondebelle]

It's funny how this thread made me think of my grandfather. Born in Italy and came to the U.S. alone. One day I was looking at a family chart and saw that my father, one of six children, was two years apart from his sister. In fact, all the children were two years apart. Grandpa went back to Italy every two years while making money here in the U.S. Eventually brought each and everyone of his children and wife here. My father was first at the age of 17 and lived with his father in a boarding house.

I think we are more flexible in our youth. your Grandfather sounds like a great guy.

My husband is middle aged and never livied alone. I think it's why he struggles a bit with this situation.

[bs13690]

Tell him to check out Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com. There may well be a group that he can join for people in similar situations. Even if there isn't one for his specific situation there are plenty of others and this is a great way to meet people.

[blondebelle]

And to CVP and Anifani821

FYI - my husband lives n Huntersville and works in Mooresville

[blondebelle]

Tell him to check out Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup.com. There may well be a group that he can join for people in similar situations. Even if there isn't one for his specific situation there are plenty of others and this is a great way to meet people.

Wow, thanks, I'll pass this onto him. Great information. Thank you! )

[chicagomichauds]

We were in the same boat this spring as my husband accepted and started a job in March and we did not move down till end of June. I wish there had been some type of group or something to at least share the "pain" of being apart.

He "talked" to us on the computer every night and flew back to see us every other week. But it was extremely difficult, especially when his father passed away shortly after moving here and we were all apart. Then our dog passed away in May and I had to deal with the vets, the cremation, that pain (he was our first "baby") essentially by myself as well.

I am sorry I don't know of any good advice just take it a day at a time and have some sort of drop dead date by which the family will reunite, regardless of the economy. For us this meant we "settled" for renting the house instead of selling it as we hoped. And we worked out that we'd come down regardless of what happened with the house by a certain date. Luckily we rented it before then and financially were able to make the move.

Totally feel for you guys and I'm pretty sure you are not the only ones in this situation. It really makes you appreciate when you are all back together again permanently a lot more than if you were never apart. Good luck!!