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Although you continue to suffer both emotionally and financially because of your wife's illness, I am so happy to hear that you have at last come to a partial solution to this long term dilemma. As Megan wisely says "Marriage is about a relationship and love, not a piece of paper. I wish you and your wife well. " [+] Rate this post positively
Crap!!! This is insane! All of the options I've looked at, including those in SC, come out to more or less the same daily rate I pay now (173/day). The only next step I have is to find a place that accepts Medicaid and place her there. There is a mandatory one-year private pay spend down that must be done first before they can ever consider accepting payment from Medicaid. The reason I couldn't do this to begin with is that we don't have enough income to pay those rates (they start at about 175/day). And at the end of a year there's still no guarantee that she'll qualify for Medicaid, so that rate may have to continue indefinitely. And there's nothing anywhere in this process that allows me to reserve any resources for my own needs and living expenses.
I just got off the phone with a divorce attorney, and even that process won't be easy nor will it be inexpensive.
You don't really feel as alone in the world as you do in this situation. I always feel like I'm the only person in the whole state/country that needs to do this.
At this point I really don't know what to do other than have her discharged, quit my job, and live on the streets.
Crap!!! This is insane! All of the options I've looked at, including those in SC, come out to more or less the same daily rate I pay now (173/day). The only next step I have is to find a place that accepts Medicaid and place her there. There is a mandatory one-year private pay spend down that must be done first before they can ever consider accepting payment from Medicaid. The reason I couldn't do this to begin with is that we don't have enough income to pay those rates (they start at about 175/day). And at the end of a year there's still no guarantee that she'll qualify for Medicaid, so that rate may have to continue indefinitely. And there's nothing anywhere in this process that allows me to reserve any resources for my own needs and living expenses.
I just got off the phone with a divorce attorney, and even that process won't be easy nor will it be inexpensive.
You don't really feel as alone in the world as you do in this situation. I always feel like I'm the only person in the whole state/country that needs to do this.
At this point I really don't know what to do other than have her discharged, quit my job, and live on the streets.
Honey, you are having a really bad time of it, and I'm so sorry!
Surely, there must be a support group for families in your situation?? I just know there are other people struggling this way too, unfortunately. Have you asked her doctors or the current nursing home about that?
Wish I could offer you something concrete, but the best I can do is hug you in my thoughts and let you know I'm praying for you. Please hang in there.
Crap!!! This is insane! All of the options I've looked at, including those in SC, come out to more or less the same daily rate I pay now (173/day). The only next step I have is to find a place that accepts Medicaid and place her there. There is a mandatory one-year private pay spend down that must be done first before they can ever consider accepting payment from Medicaid. The reason I couldn't do this to begin with is that we don't have enough income to pay those rates (they start at about 175/day). And at the end of a year there's still no guarantee that she'll qualify for Medicaid, so that rate may have to continue indefinitely. And there's nothing anywhere in this process that allows me to reserve any resources for my own needs and living expenses.
I just got off the phone with a divorce attorney, and even that process won't be easy nor will it be inexpensive.
You don't really feel as alone in the world as you do in this situation. I always feel like I'm the only person in the whole state/country that needs to do this.
At this point I really don't know what to do other than have her discharged, quit my job, and live on the streets.
I'm not sure I even like this idea but I am going to throw it out there. Have you thought about contacting the media? Perhaps if they picked up on the story something good could hopefully come out of it. Someone might see it that could help or offer support. This whole situation just stinks for you and I am more than sorry you have to go through this.
Loves is right. Can't anyone at the nursing home or her doctor offer some kind of advice at least about support groups? What about patient advocates? I am sure you have tried this but I am at a loss here. Just grasping at straws as they say.
God bless you both and hang in there. Sometimes miracles can happen and hopefully one will for you.
And please don't feel alone. You have love and support on here and I hope that helps you some.
super K...don't know what to say except I'm sorry. You aren't alone, you have us...but, in the end, we really can't do anything to help you, except to give you emotional support.
Don't have any idea what to suggest. What does the social worker at the hospital say?
At this point I really don't know what to do other than have her discharged, quit my job, and live on the streets.
I'm really stretching my thought process here but I have a "what if" question.
What if you didn't discharge her and you, your house, your identity, her assets ALL disappeared from the face of this earth.Gone. Done.
What does any facility that she is in do with her?? Clearly, they don't take her and put her by the curbside.
I honestly don't know what happens to her but your're almost at this point now so. . . anybody have a qualified answer to my question?
I talked to a divorce attorney a while back. At what first seemed like a relatively simple process was getting more and more complex (read: expensive) as we got into the topics of marital assets, legal liability, shared debt. So, I decided to shelve that concept for the time being and try another option. I got in touch with an Eldercare attorney. I signed a contract with them today. He assured me that he will get her qualified for Medicare and Medicaid. All assets (and debt) will be moved into my name only. He will direct the doctor as to how to properly fill out the required FL-2 form so it's accepted by Medicaid. She will have to move to a facility that accepts Medicaid payments, but that was sort of inevitable anyway.
So, I guess my next steps will be to contact BOA and see if I can stop the foreclosure, cancel the short sale contract, and see about moving back at some point.
I talked to a divorce attorney a while back. At what first seemed like a relatively simple process was getting more and more complex (read: expensive) as we got into the topics of marital assets, legal liability, shared debt. So, I decided to shelve that concept for the time being and try another option. I got in touch with an Eldercare attorney. I signed a contract with them today. He assured me that he will get her qualified for Medicare and Medicaid. All assets (and debt) will be moved into my name only. He will direct the doctor as to how to properly fill out the required FL-2 form so it's accepted by Medicaid. She will have to move to a facility that accepts Medicaid payments, but that was sort of inevitable anyway.
So, I guess my next steps will be to contact BOA and see if I can stop the foreclosure, cancel the short sale contract, and see about moving back at some point.
Well, at least the direction you should go in is becoming clearer to you - sigh. Hang in there!
It sounds like you may finally have found a viable solution - a solution that will provide a decent, humane life for both of you. All of your on-line friends are hoping and praying for this.
I hope this all falls in place without a lot of difficult hurdles to cross. Surely, 2010 will be the year you find some solutions that are reasonable.
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what if?
