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At least you know where you stand with Northerners. We'll tell you to your face how we feel about you.
Doesn't that have more to do with ethnicity than being from the North? My sister's husband is Sicilian and he can knock you to your knees in a second with his bluntness. He's quite proud of it and he calls everyone in my Dutch, Welsh, and Flemish family emotionally constipated, LOL.
At least you know where you stand with Northerners. We'll tell you to your face how we feel about you.
I hear this a lot, and it's usually taken as a token of pride...which is one problem because Southerners can see it as rude, in some situations. So, do you really tell your kids it's OK on Christmas morning to say "Aw, Grandma, why'd you give me this crappy sweater? I told you I wanted a video game!!" ? Somehow, I doubt that . Manners are manners, and traditional Southerners were brought up "old school" in the manners department, which, yes, is kind of passive-aggressive (read "Miss Manners" sometime and see how passive aggressive some of her advice is--but that's what etiquette's about: pretending things are fine and smoothing over an awkward situation instead of causing conflict)
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Originally Posted by Rybaran
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If things are so great "In the North", why did they leave.
To raise the IQ of the area, one Northerner at a time.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I offer you Exhibit A in Why Northerners have a reputation for being rude, in the South.
This thread has been beaten to death several times over. And, while everyone has their own points that are correct, the bottom line is that we are all people. Due to our diverse backgrounds, we may have different expectations and different thresholds of what we consider to be "rude", but, in the end, we are all still people. Yes, Northerners are blunt and tell it like it is...and it is something that we appreciate because then we know where we stand. Yes, Southerners are more "mannerly" and gasp at such "rudeness", but, their ways are appreciated by many. The point is, why can we not accept people for what (who) we are? The post suggesting that Northerners "soften their accent...etc" is exactly what I mean when I say that we are entirely too unaccepting of each other. Just because we are different, does not mean that we cannot be friends and overlook those things that are different from us. Sometimes that is the only way to get along! It does not mean ostracizing another culture or another group of people simply because "you know those Northerners or Southerners or___________ are!"
To the OP: the incidents of North/South bashing has become minimal since Sunny has adopted his new moderating rules. However, it was not clear if you were meaning the bashing that has taken place on this forum or in general in your experiences in Charlotte. To that end, I agree, it needs to stop.
However, let's just make it a priority to just get along; even if it is just those of us on this forum, maybe we can set a precedent across this city!
Doesn't that have more to do with ethnicity than being from the North? My sister's husband is Sicilian and he can knock you to your knees in a second with his bluntness. He's quite proud of it and he calls everyone in my Dutch, Welsh, and Flemish family emotionally constipated, LOL.
There's something here... spend a few nights out at the beach clubs and anyone can appreciate why someone would see your typical NY/NJ guido as rude. That show Jersey Shore is not fictional - mostly.
There's also a picture you get at the annual NYPD vs. FDNY hockey game and the raw alcohol consumption around an exhibition game. You can definitely come to appreciate how one of those guys could **** someone off.
I have my stereotypes of the Southern "equivalents", but I haven't really experienced them first hand, yet. Closest I've been was a NASCAR tailgate and that wasn't very different then a Giants one. When you really break down men there's not much magic... Line up the beers and let's watch some sports.
I think the women are to blame for this whole argument!
[quote=Francois;14021885]I hear this a lot, and it's usually taken as a token of pride...which is one problem because Southerners can see it as rude, in some situations. So, do you really tell your kids it's OK on Christmas morning to say "Aw, Grandma, why'd you give me this crappy sweater? I told you I wanted a video game!!" ? Somehow, I doubt that . Manners are manners, and traditional Southerners were brought up "old school" in the manners department, which, yes, is kind of passive-aggressive (read "Miss Manners" sometime and see how passive aggressive some of her advice is--but that's what etiquette's about: pretending things are fine and smoothing over an awkward situation instead of causing conflict)
Sorry...we would rather address things up front and take care of them than worry about being "mannerly". Passive aggressiveness is not well tolerated up north.
No, kids would not say things like that to Grandma, but, they are taught not to lie. "If you can't say something good, don't say anything at all". So, chances are they would simply put the sweater aside and not say anything at all regarding it if they did not like it.
For the most part since we frequent Charlotte on city data are we all not NC'ers now?
Yes, but unless you were born here, you aren't a Southerner (and really . . .most of us don't consider folks true Southerners unless their families have been here at least 100 years, lol).
Have you heard this "old saying" . . .
Just cause a cat has kittens in the oven, it don't make 'em biscuits.
All teasing aside . . . as I have said many times over the last few years, Charlotte is in the South, but Charlotte is not a Southern city. Charlotte is something else - I am no longer sure what! I think Charlotte is the New South which evidently means - located below the Mason Dixon line but having a minority of actual Southerners and encompassing very little that is uniquely Southern.
Not saying that is bad! I moved away - lived in the midwest - and was in no hurry to come back to Charlotte. Loved the midwest! So imagine my surprise when I moved back and found Charlotte felt more like a midwestern city than the Charlotte I used to know. I miss the Southern feel at times, but I also really enjoy the variety in restaurants/food that the growth has brought. Plus, I have found that folks who have moved here (especially young couples with children) are passionate about good schools and community betterment projects, so that is an energy that has been very positive and exciting for MECK.
But Southern . . . no, this city is not Southern. Savannah is Southern. Charleston is Southern. And lots of small towns in VA, SC, TN, NC, GA are Southern.
Charlotte and Atlanta have transmografied into "the New South" - whatever that is.
Last edited by brokensky; 05-03-2010 at 08:39 PM..
Reason: typo
I hear this a lot, and it's usually taken as a token of pride...which is one problem because Southerners can see it as rude, in some situations. So, do you really tell your kids it's OK on Christmas morning to say "Aw, Grandma, why'd you give me this crappy sweater? I told you I wanted a video game!!" ? Somehow, I doubt that . Manners are manners, and traditional Southerners were brought up "old school" in the manners department, which, yes, is kind of passive-aggressive (read "Miss Manners" sometime and see how passive aggressive some of her advice is--but that's what etiquette's about: pretending things are fine and smoothing over an awkward situation instead of causing conflict)
Sorry...we would rather address things up front and take care of them than worry about being "mannerly". Passive aggressiveness is not well tolerated up north.
No, kids would not say things like that to Grandma, but, they are taught not to lie. "If you can't say something good, don't say anything at all". So, chances are they would simply put the sweater aside and not say anything at all regarding it if they did not like it.
You are missing the inference. A Southerner would be very gracious and without even mentioning anything about the item itself - would say "Thank you so much for thinking of me! That was so kind of you!" {Edited to add: a WELL BRED SOUTHERNER -anyone who hasn't been raised well can be uncouth}
It is not lying to omit that the item is ugly. That is not lying nor is it being passive aggressive. That is good manners and that's the thing about Southerners - we would rather be gracious and acknowledge the effort than be honest about it being a crappy gift. We even hate telling someone it was a CRAPPY REPORT in a corporate setting. That hesitancy to hurt other people's feelings is not being passive aggressive - and goes to the core of why Southerners find the "in your face, honesty at all costs" style that many folks from other cultural backgrounds seem to embrace - as rude, inconsiderate, inappropriate, hurtful, etc.
Now, I am just explaining here! I may try to have a soft edge w/ criticism, but I don't have a problem being straightforward . . . and I don't have a problem with others being straightforward. I am married to a Yankee whose family is likely to not only tell it like it is, but tell it like it is very loudly, LOL. It isn't my style, but I don't find it offensive. I only find it offensive if it is mean spirited (and I think that goes for nearly everyone - tone is everything).
And i would add - mean spirited folks come in all shapes, sizes, ages - and from all over this country.
Last edited by brokensky; 05-03-2010 at 08:46 PM..
...which southern politicians imposed on you, hmmm? Wha--- they don't count?
This discussion is making me laugh! It's all posturing. Everyone does it with everyone. Other countries do it to us, we do it to them as a whole. Towns do it to other towns. No one needs to get ruffled feathers, but we could all use a cold hose down! LOL!
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. Manners are manners, and traditional Southerners were brought up "old school" in the manners department, which, yes, is kind of passive-aggressive (read "Miss Manners" sometime and see how passive aggressive some of her advice is--but that's what etiquette's about: pretending things are fine and smoothing over an awkward situation instead of causing conflict)
Passive aggressiveness is not well tolerated up north. 
