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I wrote a blog about at SadDisorder.Org to try to help others dealing with this awful problem. I moved the opposite direction as this original poster. I used to live a few hours north of Chicago and now live just south of Fort Myers.
I love the midwest but I the fall,winter and springs were too dark for me. I read you need to be outside for 5 to 6 hours in the wintertime to get enough sunlight.
I used to drive around with my sun roof open, even in below zero weather. I just turned up the heat. Vitamin D and B complex helped me too.
Life long Chicagoan here. Funny how we're all different. I'd absolutely die if I had to live through the endless stretches of 90°+ heat and humidity of Florida or had to bake in the dry but still 100°+ temperatures of Arizona.
Meanwhile I have to laugh at the notion that Chicago is some kind of frigid wasteland in winter that those on the northeast coast think we are. Getoverit! Your weather is not so different from ours. And a Floridian would have a heck of time getting through a NYC winter, just like a Chicago one.
Short of coastal California, there really isn't any place with a truly temperature year-round climate in the US. Well, not IMHO>
Me and my husband moved to Chicago 6 months ago from Central Florida. We rented an apartment downtown and a month ago we bought a house in Naperville cause rent was too high.
I miss Florida so much and I'm so sick of the weather here and it's not even winter yet. It's so depressing to stay in and too cold to go out and do anything, it gets too dark so fast and I miss our families in FL.
I know we can't move anywhere for a while now since we bought a house but I don't know what to do. I miss the hot and humid weather!
I know this an older thread, but I have a feeling Junita is probably looking at her calendar, seeing March, and wondering where her definition of springtime is. My apologies for the length...
Junita - I speak from personal experience, your post here is EXACTLY how my wife felt too. We moved to the burbs of Chicago in Feb of 09' from Chapel Hill. Job related move that the economy had pinned us against. We had a 9 month old son (our first). We left our family in NC (my wife's), took the only grandchild away from them, and in that same week, watched my wife's only sibling head off to Iraq for the first time. As the father and provider for my family, the weight of all those tears sat squarely on my shoulders, and they hurt, badly. I'll never for as long as I live forget that day we left.
We settled into our new life with caution. Once the sting of the move became more acceptable, we began to venture out, figured why not see Chicago and the region why we were there. We never planned on putting down our roots in Chicago, this was a career move, a career survival move as well. But, we were homesick something awful! We flew back to NC a few times (not easy with a baby) and made the best of what we could. It wasn't great, but it was working.
Then winter hit. Sunset at 4:30pm. More cloudy days than not. Cold. Where we were living wasn't a friendly place for newcomers, had no friends. My wife stayed home with our son while I went to work. Winter of 09/10 was tough. Economy was still in the can, no jobs opening up in my sector (finance). That February we discovered a little secret called Las Vegas. That helped! That was fun. But every single day, we both had a question rattling around in our brain "when will we get out of here, when can we go home?" Then we found out we were expecting our second child, to deliver in November of 2010. All of the sudden, the trips back to NC seemed even tougher. My wife was pregnant with one still in diapers with NO support network other than me. Don't get me wrong, we were thrilled to be having a second child (we wanted two), but the timing was tough. On top of that, no signs of the economy opening up in my sector. We welcomed our beautiful and healthy daughter into the world that November. That Christmas was her first Christmas away from NC, that stung. Then, the 4th worst blizzard in Chicago's history hit, and that winter was going down as one of the worst on record. She was now a stay at home mom with TWO in diapers, no friends, no family, in the worst winter since 78'. I knew it was time to take the resume for a spin back east. It worked, but not without a few painful jabs along the way. A client connected the dots between me and my current employer last March. Conversations started, I flew to DC a few times to meet, and right when I was about to get the official offer...a hiring freeze was put into place. They had just acquired another smaller institution and were going to vet out those who had been acquired for the job. We had our hopes up for months that we were getting out of Chicago for Virginia. When I told my wife we didn't get the job, she was crushed. I thought I might lose her, and I could not have blamed her. That was last June, and we knew winter was coming again soon. Went to Vegas again, really did it up first class too, and that helped. We began to accept the reality that the economy just wasn't quite "there" yet, needed another year or so. Then, out of the blue in August, I got a call. They had vetted everyone, and I was still standing as the pick. We were moving into our new home in the VA burbs of DC by October.
This is what we learned from that experience, and I have a feeling you will too.
First - our marriage was tested. I know she thought about how to leave and take the kids back to NC. I couldn't blame her for the thoughts. But, she didn't. Because of that, and that I never told her "no" on anything that I could control in our lives at that time, our marriage today is stronger than either one of us can believe. We went through a tough situation "together", and have that now.
Second - we look at the life we had left in NC in 09', and realize that had Chicago not happened, we would not be where we are today, which is a billion times nicer than what we had in NC. The career survival move to Chicago opened the doors to career options. That, would have never happened if we had stayed in NC, ever. Chicago is the "big leagues". If you can hang on for a couple of years in it, lots of doors will open and you will find options in your life that you would have never thought possible. I promise you! It wasn't North Carolina that gave us Virginia, it was Chicago. The same will happen to you too, just have to be patient and don't let the winter blues and missing family cloud that reality too much. Some, but not too much to where you lose that perspective on the big picture of your future.
Third - we realized that we were experiencing something that nobody in our lives had ever experienced before, by living in Chicago. We were doing something unique, and that was giving us a whole new level of respect from family and friends. My wife's family is a big ol' Eastern Carolina family, with roots that run back into the 1700's of this country. There are family leaders who end up inheriting the 10's of thousands of acres of land that has been passed down for hundreds of years. There is a "pecking order" with the family. Chicago has made her #1 in that pecking order now. She is considered to be the "golden" girl, and nobody even remotely disputes it. Her friends look at her differently now, as a leader in their social circle. Simply stated, she runs her show, on her terms, and undisputed. You too will realize this with your pecking order in Orlando. It's not gone, it's just waiting, and it'll be there when you guys get your ticket to return closer to home.
Fourth - For all of the whining and complaining I've done about ******** over the past couple of years, now that we're not there, we kind of miss it a little. Not enough to EVER go back without a round-trip ticket in our hands, but have begun to feel like we might've let our homesickness prevent us from experiencing a few things that we might've liked. Granted, that easier said than done when you have little kids in the house though.
So, I know what you're feeling with this posting. I've been there, but offering you what this looks like from a different perspective, the perspective of the person responsible for it. I wear those 2 1/2 years on my own shoulders. It aged me, quite a bit. It made me cynical, and even down-right mean at times. But it also made me sharp, took the rust off my blade and gave this family a real charge to never be afraid of a challeging situation again. You too, will get this soon... Just keep your eye on the big picture of why you're there, and use this time to map out where you and your fiance want this to take you. As long as you don't lose site of those two thoughts, you'll know that you'll get back to what I'm pretty sure you're wanting, which is close to what you already had. You haven't lost it, and it hasn't lost you. It's just "seasoning" for you... Gotta wait for it...but it's coming.. I promise!
Thank you ;-). I feel bad for this person because I know what she's going through. Chicago isn't a bad place if you're use to it. I meet at lot of people who grew up there, moved away for one reason or another, only to suffer being homesick and returned, swearing they would never leave again. The key is growing up there in my opinion. If you're new to it, it can be really tough to take.
I know this an older thread, but I have a feeling Junita is probably looking at her calendar, seeing March, and wondering where her definition of springtime is. My apologies for the length...
Junita - I speak from personal experience, your post here is EXACTLY how my wife felt too. We moved to the burbs of Chicago in Feb of 09' from Chapel Hill. Job related move that the economy had pinned us against. We had a 9 month old son (our first). We left our family in NC (my wife's), took the only grandchild away from them, and in that same week, watched my wife's only sibling head off to Iraq for the first time. As the father and provider for my family, the weight of all those tears sat squarely on my shoulders, and they hurt, badly. I'll never for as long as I live forget that day we left.
We settled into our new life with caution. Once the sting of the move became more acceptable, we began to venture out, figured why not see Chicago and the region why we were there. We never planned on putting down our roots in Chicago, this was a career move, a career survival move as well. But, we were homesick something awful! We flew back to NC a few times (not easy with a baby) and made the best of what we could. It wasn't great, but it was working.
Then winter hit. Sunset at 4:30pm. More cloudy days than not. Cold. Where we were living wasn't a friendly place for newcomers, had no friends. My wife stayed home with our son while I went to work. Winter of 09/10 was tough. Economy was still in the can, no jobs opening up in my sector (finance). That February we discovered a little secret called Las Vegas. That helped! That was fun. But every single day, we both had a question rattling around in our brain "when will we get out of here, when can we go home?" Then we found out we were expecting our second child, to deliver in November of 2010. All of the sudden, the trips back to NC seemed even tougher. My wife was pregnant with one still in diapers with NO support network other than me. Don't get me wrong, we were thrilled to be having a second child (we wanted two), but the timing was tough. On top of that, no signs of the economy opening up in my sector. We welcomed our beautiful and healthy daughter into the world that November. That Christmas was her first Christmas away from NC, that stung. Then, the 4th worst blizzard in Chicago's history hit, and that winter was going down as one of the worst on record. She was now a stay at home mom with TWO in diapers, no friends, no family, in the worst winter since 78'. I knew it was time to take the resume for a spin back east. It worked, but not without a few painful jabs along the way. A client connected the dots between me and my current employer last March. Conversations started, I flew to DC a few times to meet, and right when I was about to get the official offer...a hiring freeze was put into place. They had just acquired another smaller institution and were going to vet out those who had been acquired for the job. We had our hopes up for months that we were getting out of Chicago for Virginia. When I told my wife we didn't get the job, she was crushed. I thought I might lose her, and I could not have blamed her. That was last June, and we knew winter was coming again soon. Went to Vegas again, really did it up first class too, and that helped. We began to accept the reality that the economy just wasn't quite "there" yet, needed another year or so. Then, out of the blue in August, I got a call. They had vetted everyone, and I was still standing as the pick. We were moving into our new home in the VA burbs of DC by October.
This is what we learned from that experience, and I have a feeling you will too.
First - our marriage was tested. I know she thought about how to leave and take the kids back to NC. I couldn't blame her for the thoughts. But, she didn't. Because of that, and that I never told her "no" on anything that I could control in our lives at that time, our marriage today is stronger than either one of us can believe. We went through a tough situation "together", and have that now.
Second - we look at the life we had left in NC in 09', and realize that had Chicago not happened, we would not be where we are today, which is a billion times nicer than what we had in NC. The career survival move to Chicago opened the doors to career options. That, would have never happened if we had stayed in NC, ever. Chicago is the "big leagues". If you can hang on for a couple of years in it, lots of doors will open and you will find options in your life that you would have never thought possible. I promise you! It wasn't North Carolina that gave us Virginia, it was Chicago. The same will happen to you too, just have to be patient and don't let the winter blues and missing family cloud that reality too much. Some, but not too much to where you lose that perspective on the big picture of your future.
Third - we realized that we were experiencing something that nobody in our lives had ever experienced before, by living in Chicago. We were doing something unique, and that was giving us a whole new level of respect from family and friends. My wife's family is a big ol' Eastern Carolina family, with roots that run back into the 1700's of this country. There are family leaders who end up inheriting the 10's of thousands of acres of land that has been passed down for hundreds of years. There is a "pecking order" with the family. Chicago has made her #1 in that pecking order now. She is considered to be the "golden" girl, and nobody even remotely disputes it. Her friends look at her differently now, as a leader in their social circle. Simply stated, she runs her show, on her terms, and undisputed. You too will realize this with your pecking order in Orlando. It's not gone, it's just waiting, and it'll be there when you guys get your ticket to return closer to home.
Fourth - For all of the whining and complaining I've done about ******** over the past couple of years, now that we're not there, we kind of miss it a little. Not enough to EVER go back without a round-trip ticket in our hands, but have begun to feel like we might've let our homesickness prevent us from experiencing a few things that we might've liked. Granted, that easier said than done when you have little kids in the house though.
So, I know what you're feeling with this posting. I've been there, but offering you what this looks like from a different perspective, the perspective of the person responsible for it. I wear those 2 1/2 years on my own shoulders. It aged me, quite a bit. It made me cynical, and even down-right mean at times. But it also made me sharp, took the rust off my blade and gave this family a real charge to never be afraid of a challeging situation again. You too, will get this soon... Just keep your eye on the big picture of why you're there, and use this time to map out where you and your fiance want this to take you. As long as you don't lose site of those two thoughts, you'll know that you'll get back to what I'm pretty sure you're wanting, which is close to what you already had. You haven't lost it, and it hasn't lost you. It's just "seasoning" for you... Gotta wait for it...but it's coming.. I promise!
What would you have done to make living in the area easier for y'all? Would you have chosen a different area?
Reason I ask, is so many spend time looking at the obvious, like home cost , commuting time and school quality, that I feel quality of life details get left out; like how walkable is my area and is there recreation I can walk to. Especially with babies, having a walkable neighborhood with paths and parks nearby would make a big difference compared to having to drive to the park.
Good post, thanks for sharing your experiences.
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