Help! (Chicago, Naperville, Wheaton: real estate, property taxes, mcmansion)

[elisabetm]

We have lived in Naperville for about a year and a half. We're all pretty much hating it. We feel isolated and the community has felt snobby overall. My kids have had an awful time making any friends. One parent has banned my child as a friend for her daughter. Don't really know why but I just suppose that my child isn't gifted or talented enough for her little angel. We moved from a more down to earth, middle class suburb of Detroit. Since we have formed no real attachmnet to Naperville we are going to look at some other suburbs to try and find what we're more comfortable with. I thought it'd be fun and informative to hear 5 (or more) adjectives describing the following places: Elmhurst, Elk Grove Village, Downer's Grove and Westmont. Thanks for all of the great info. I wish that I had seen this forum a few years ago.

[rhiannonsmum]

I'm sorry you are having problems. I have a really nice friend who moved to Naperville from out-of-state (in fact, from out-of-the-country, they are Indian) and they are doing fine. Anyway, Elmhurst has beautiful trees, a great location for transportation, a cute downtown, some subdivisions but also areas without subdivisions, and a nice mix of nice older homes and new construction. I am not from Elmhurst but I considered moving there once. The main drawback for us was that it was too suburban for my husband, coming from Naperville you probably won't have that problem. I don't know anything about the other areas as all. Good luck!

[HOWELL_STREET]

... REGARDLESS of most any Chicago area community that you visit, there is a basic problem with Chicago area people on the street or a neighbor. People are basically afraid of each other with face to face freindly contact. People are nice here on the Forums because there is no face to face contact with each other. This is what the computer has done to us. So IF you were to move to a city of your choice, you would experience the same problems and still wonder where all of that kameraderie might be.

There are two get together scenarios that come to my mind. First meet people in a church of your choice. Go to a smaller church other than a "Mega" church to meet interesting people. Participate and attend church gatherings and church banquets where you will find even better food than your local favorite restaurant. That's because house wives want to cook their very best meals at a church banquet.

Next, if you own a home with a back yard, then 'throw' a backyard party and invite the entire block community of your chosen area. YOU do the inviting and don't wait for someone else to do it.

As an example, I have lived in Wheaton, IL for 41 years and it has taken me 13 years to get to know my next door neighbors. That's because I am a senior citizen and some of my neighbors are younger. In short, I am not famous like Chicagao's Studs Terkle who is now 95 years of age. So, since I am a 'nobody', younger generation people (from my experience in Wheaton) seem to think that I am a dinosaur. Some young women especially thinnk this of me. Of course, there are exceptions and those few exceptions have become good friends.

From MY EXPERIENCE, when younger people get in trouble of need help - - then they are your friend. However, they also quickly forget that when there interests are sitting in front of a CRT computer monitor.

So try my suggestions even in Naperville because it is basically a very nice community but larger than my home town of Wheaton.

These are my observations and opinions and perhaps yours are different. But try my suggestions anyway.

[aragx6]

I live in Westmont so I could give a fair picture of it. I don't have kids- I don't even know what schools they go to so I can't comment on that, but here goes:
Older, smaller, train town, small mostly uninteresting downtown, less expensive real estate and smaller homes than much of Dupage country. Los of shopping within 10 minutes.

[NYrules]

Originally Posted by elisabetm

We have lived in Naperville for about a year and a half. We're all pretty much hating it. We feel isolated and the community has felt snobby overall. My kids have had an awful time making any friends. One parent has banned my child as a friend for her daughter. Don't really know why but I just suppose that my child isn't gifted or talented enough for her little angel. We moved from a more down to earth, middle class suburb of Detroit. Since we have formed no real attachmnet to Naperville we are going to look at some other suburbs to try and find what we're more comfortable with. I thought it'd be fun and informative to hear 5 (or more) adjectives describing the following places: Elmhurst, Elk Grove Village, Downer's Grove and Westmont. Thanks for all of the great info. I wish that I had seen this forum a few years ago.

Yep, thats the general feeling I get whenever I visit that town as well. Naperville is very pretty, very upscale, very safe, but at the same time it seems a number of the people that are moving into that town or are already there are getting this attitude that they are better than everyone because they are making $200K a year, driving a B-Mer or Mercedes, and have their kid in school getting straight A's dressed to a T. Don't get me wrong, the town I live in is also very stuck up, and I don't like it either. I know it can make for an uncomfortable living situation when someone won't let their kid hang out with your kid because your kid's daddy isn't the CEO of IBM and your kid doesn't wear $200 gym shoes or wear all Abercrombie or Armani products so your kid becomes the "bad influence" He/she is the rebel in a sense. I don't know, its sad, and I do understand your frustration, but I am sorry to say, many towns that are known to be "rich kid" towns are going to be producing that same type of atmosphere where your kid is going to be surrounded by stuck up brats and in many cases the stuck up brats will have stuck up brats for parents as well. You may want to look more into a town that is more mixed up and not just all rich people. This way the atmosphere is more mixed and in many cases the poorer humble folks keep the rich snobs in check and keep their egos down with reality and keep them from thinking they are God.

That all being said I would say the most mixed town financially and racially out of the ones you mentioned would be Downers Grove. There is a nice mix of lower to average class people to the richest of rich in the town.

[gardener34]

There are snobs to be found in Elmhurst as well. As it is "teardown central" and the new homes are mostly in the 750 thousand plus range. So you may run into this problem as well with the "nouveau riche" attitudes. You will likely pay more than you would like for a small house - i.e. you won't get a lot for your money. It is a very white "suburban" atmosphere - nice but not diverse.

Downers grove is very nice - although it can get expensive in parts.

Westmont is a really nice town, a friend lives there so we spend a lot of time there. And we like it a lot. More of a diverse suburb that you don't hear much about.

Can't comment on schools though for any of these towns. And that is such a heated topic here in IL anyway. Many people live in certain towns just for their school districts and thus pay the commeasurate property taxes for those excellent school districts. if that is a criteria for you.

Nyrules - I totally agree with you. What some people consider a "bad neighborhood" or a "bad influence" or "dangerous" BLOWS my mind. These are such isolated judgemental individuals. It is truly pathetic. I have lived near "bad" neighborhoods, these people can't even conceive what a bad neighborhood is like.

There are some subdivisions in the fox valley where we live, that can be kind of like that. In fact, I find that behavior more rampant in the subdivisions or "communities" as they preferred to be called, than the town "proper" if you will. Perhaps if you just move into a normal older more "lived in" neighborhood you will be happier. I can't believe all of naperville is as you describe.

Good luck!!

[emmi605]

I think every town has its share of snobby people, but after 13 years in Elmhurst I can say that I can only think of a few times I felt this. That is true meeting people from all areas of Elmhurst and from every socio-economic level. I have been involved in many aspects of the community that hits a variety of social situations. My beliefs also may come from living on the North side where there is more diversity (please don't bad rep me here.....whoever did it last time) On my short block alone there are first generation families from Greece, Poland, India, Pakistan, Mexico, The Phillipines, and Serbia. My sons class of 24 has only 9 "white" kids to use the term used by someone on your five adjective thread. I am also from Middle-class Michigan and have felt very at home here. You will get more home for your money on the North side. I have always thought it is the best-kept secret of Elmhurst. Schools work hard to meet individual needs of the students and the community as a whole work together to solve problems. I just didn't want you to be scared away. There are mostly nice, accepting people here. The other suburbs you mentioned are very nice also. Friends in all places...and they are just as happy. I would suggest visiting the downtown areas of all of these towns and walking around. You can get a good feel for the place.

[elisabetm]

We are in an older, smaller section of Naperville. We purposely chose a more subdued neighborhood even though we could have gone bigger. I am certainly not saying that all of Naperville is snobby. We have met a few really nice and more grounded people. One of our neighbors is wonderful(they're from WI) but the ones on the other side of us are terribly snobbish and won't have anything to do with us. They even have a child in the same grade as one of mine but their child totally snubs ours! This town is just in such sharp contrast to where we came from. Yes, there were pretentious people there also but the down to earth types were the majority. The tone and feeling in Naperville is just more unfriendly and much more judgemental. I'd really like to get back to a more "real" area. I actually think that this isn't a very healthy or realistic place for kids to grow up. It is definitely a bubble. I grew up in the city of Detroit, so that is my frame of reference. That was a tough way of life and a fast education in the harsh realities of life. I don't necessarily want that for my kids but I think that we went too far in the other direction when we chose Naperville. It feels like a fairytale world. I'd just like to find a comfortable medium.

[nanannie]

These vast generalizations of an ENTIRE town are ridiculous, ignorant,narrow minded, and just plain mean. How many thousands live in these towns and the WHOLE town is labeled as 'snobby'? How much of this is =" what you give out is what you get back"? Every city, town, trailer park and McMansion area has 'snobs'. Every city, town,trailer park and McMansion area has wonderful, down to earth, caring people. Who you choose to have as a friend or associate with is our individual right. Ignore people who do not appeal or interest you ( or who are "snobs") and live and let live.

[NYrules]

Ya its very sad to see people so wrapped up in their own little reality that they lose touch with ALL reality. They live inside their little bubble with their 2.5 kids, 2 cars (one of which has to be an SUV (the official soccer mom mobile)) and 4 bedroom $500,000 house, and then for them to see things like a kid walking down the street with his hat turned around backwards right away is a sign that he is a murderer or in a gang to them... and a black kid... OH MY GOD! There goes the neighborhood! It's pathetic in my eyes to see people behaving this way and I'm not saying Naperville is the only town in the world that has some people thinking this way in it, but it is definitley one of them. I'm in Orland and believe me its about the same way here too. Sandburg always has been known for being a school full of snobs. Don't get me wrong, its a great school by all means with top of line teachers, but, SOME major ***** hole kids and parents to deal with! Sometimes the parents are worse to deal with than little Jonnie or Suzzie because their little angel could never do any wrong! I'm sure some of the teachers would concur with me on this one.