Westchester to North Shore (Chicago, Evanston: relocate, jobs, house)

[pennquaker09]

Thanks Clio, brenty, and Paige. That was a lot of great information. Basically some of the North Shore towns are kind of like my hometown. Where I'm from is pretty much the same, even in Alabama. Lots of pressure to conform and play sports (specifically football), however, I think the exception is that kids are not necessarily pushed to go to Ivy League/Ivy Caliber schools. Some are, but it's not the standard. It's quite hard to be perfect ALL the time. I never made it.

My parents put me in the lessons and all of that, but I did those things more for enjoyment than anything else.

From what I read here, I think Evanston would probably be the best place for my partner and I. I just don't see a gay couple living anywhere else. Right now we live in the Philadelphia suburbs. We're not quite on the Main Line, but close enough. But both probably have a lot of similarities.

Personally, I like like living in the suburbs and I think we could fit in fairly well, but I don't know how well people will take us. I was kind of liking Winnetka there for a minute. And Hinsdale, from what I've read, I like it also. But overall, I think Evanston might be the place which makes sense because he'll be working for Northwestern.

We're visiting Chicago next month and I'm going to make him rent a car so we can explore a bit or something.

[Paige65]

Originally Posted by Clio1

Paige and Brenty give a great snapshot of the area. I don't know where you either of you live. Maybe it's just me but both of you kind of sound like realtors. Factually accurate but maybe not revealing all the cards in your hands...

Hey Clio... not a realtor, a part-time lawyer, but of course I was a cheerleader way back when...

I think where I live on the North Shore is a little bit less of a pressure cooker than where you are, and my kids are not yet old enough (early grade school) for me to have experienced some of what you may have in that regard. I also don't run with a crowd that is all that into the sorts of things you mentioned. It definitely exists and many feel pressure to be a part of it. It's probably exponentially more exaggerated in Kenilworth since it's the elite of the elite. We looked at a house there several years ago. I guess I should be happy we decided against it.

I do agree about the cost of camp and sports and lessons, it's obscene, even when you aren't doing "everything"...

[Paige65]

Originally Posted by pennquaker09

Thanks Clio, brenty, and Paige. That was a lot of great information. Basically some of the North Shore towns are kind of like my hometown. Where I'm from is pretty much the same, even in Alabama. Lots of pressure to conform and play sports (specifically football), however, I think the exception is that kids are not necessarily pushed to go to Ivy League/Ivy Caliber schools. Some are, but it's not the standard. It's quite hard to be perfect ALL the time. I never made it.

My parents put me in the lessons and all of that, but I did those things more for enjoyment than anything else.

From what I read here, I think Evanston would probably be the best place for my partner and I. I just don't see a gay couple living anywhere else. Right now we live in the Philadelphia suburbs. We're not quite on the Main Line, but close enough. But both probably have a lot of similarities.

Personally, I like like living in the suburbs and I think we could fit in fairly well, but I don't know how well people will take us. I was kind of liking Winnetka there for a minute. And Hinsdale, from what I've read, I like it also. But overall, I think Evanston might be the place which makes sense because he'll be working for Northwestern.

We're visiting Chicago next month and I'm going to make him rent a car so we can explore a bit or something.

I think Evanston will be a great choice for you, especially since your partner is working at Northwestern. I think people would "take to you" just fine in most of the North Shore suburbs though.

Good luck finding the right place. I lived in Evanston for about three years, from 91-94, and I liked it very much, and still do.

[Clio1]

I don't want to sound preachy or PC or insincere here, but I WISH there was a place for gay families on the North Shore beyond Evanston. I have had many gay friends over the years and I would not recommend any of them relocate to this area. The only type that MIGHT make it would be very straight-acting Log Cabin Republican Church goers with mainstream or very cool jobs. It would be a fascinating experiment but I wouldn't wish it on a friend. On the other hand, our village manager is a great guy, openly (but quietly) gay with two kids--they live in Evanston and are very happy there.

Happy house-hunting and let us know what you think!

[brenty]

I probably would not recommend Gay people to live in Evanston. Evanston has many neighborhoods. Northwest, Northeast, and Southeast Evanston actually tend to be on the conservative side. Gay Evanstonians probably do not venture outside of downtown and some of the Urban Chic neighborhoods.

[aragx6]

But regardless it's still one of the least conservative North Shore areas, and there are plenty of gays there so it's not a bad bet.

[brenty]

about 300 out of about 75,000

[exnyker]

While Highland Park is physically beautiful, with a lovley downtown and quaint to stunning housing, I would not suggest this community for a new comer. My family (husband and 2 young kids) lived there for several years and the community is very insular and not welcoming. Adults often still hang out with there friends from HS and college and all their in laws or a long established group of friends and are not interested in expanding themselves, and they foster and perpetuate this attitude in their children, who we found way overly indulged. I don't necessarily mean materially indulged, because that happens in all affluent communities, I mean in terms of having expectations of polite, decent or appropriate respectful behavoir and particularly social skills involving other kids and having a sense of entitlement. Maybe that is why so many return, because they can't function in other environments. I have lived in other affluent communities where the people were just plain nicer.

[Clio1]

Originally Posted by exnyker

While Highland Park is physically beautiful, with a lovley downtown and quaint to stunning housing, I would not suggest this community for a new comer. My family (husband and 2 young kids) lived there for several years and the community is very insular and not welcoming. Adults often still hang out with there friends from HS and college and all their in laws or a long established group of friends and are not interested in expanding themselves, and they foster and perpetuate this attitude in their children, who we found way overly indulged. I don't necessarily mean materially indulged, because that happens in all affluent communities, I mean in terms of having expectations of polite, decent or appropriate respectful behavoir and particularly social skills involving other kids and having a sense of entitlement. Maybe that is why so many return, because they can't function in other environments. I have lived in other affluent communities where the people were just plain nicer.

Exnyker makes a good point but I would argue that is true of the entire NShore. I would estimate that over half of the homeowners here in Kenilworth grew up here or in a nearby community. My neighbor grew up here, he has a brother and sister AND his parents all here in a town of 800 houses. Many grandparents live within a few miles and are VERY involved.

That said, there are a lot of people here from the coasts and a sizeable European contingent brought in by banks and multinationals. Given a few years and a couple of kids you will know everyone and make friends. You just have to recognize that the deeper-rooted families do not necessarily see you as equals--they may not see you at all. You have to season for a decade or three, climb up the social ladder, pay your dues.

And hey, some of this is just a midwest/northeast clash of cultures that has nothing to do with the North Shore. I hear similar complaints from midwesterners who relocate East. It's a big country and we are more different than we sometimes realize. We just gotta keep on trying.

[Clio1]

This has turned out to be a fascinating thread. I hope I didn't come off as rude to you guys. I just stumbled on this site a few days ago and it is SUCH fun. Thanks!