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You need to adjust your attitude. Seriously. I've worked in some of the top financial services firms in Chicago and people that openly bad mouth the town they've left might be good for a few laughs but I have seen DOZENS of folks that diss NY or DC or Miami or SF or Philly or Boston end up really on the short list of a whole bunch of people that eek out their revenge! It NEVER ends up well.
If you find a decent enough house in Oak Park or Evanston or maybe Lincoln Park or the Gold Coast or even a traditional affluent suburb that you seem to despise (and yes, there are MANY nice compact homes on smaller lots in Wilmette, Winnetka, Glencoe, Hinsdale, Glen Ellyn, Wheaton, LaGrange, Western Springs and other towns but I would recommend you look there as I would not you to inflict yourself on my friends...) you will find out rather quickly that isolating yourself from your peers is an awful lesson to teach your kids.
I thank you for your reply although I'm not sure the attitude change is necessary nor is it necessary to turn this political. First of all, I love Philly and wouldn't say a bad thing about it (and I loved living in NYC, SF, LA, Miami, Boston and London). I grew up here and when we returned a few years ago and lived in Center City on one of the best streets in a 5000 sf single family row home (the actual block where Dan Aykroyd lived in Trading Places) we really liked our neighbors. They were the power elite of Philly but were relatable and "normal" from our point of view. When we moved to the equivalent suburbs of the Main Line we felt like we moved into the Stepford Wives. It's a beautiful area and for some an incredible place to live. But the large majority of the people were simply strange for us. Not bad people, just not us. Our two best sets of friends are a 40 year old retired hedge fund manager and his wife and kids who are worth 9 figures but he drives a Toyota pickup truck and lives in a 3500 sf house, and a 60 year old billionaire and his wife who refuses to ever wear a suit ever again and put loud pipes on his Harley to scare the ladies who lunch at the Merion Cricket Club.
I am being brought in to one of the large Chicago financial institutions to start and run an alternative investment strategy after a career in private equity and having most recently jumped into an operating role three years ago as the CEO of a turnaround in Philly, which we just exited at a very healthy return. I'm not fearful of nor is wealth foreign to me. But I do thank you for the condescending and presumptuous attitude and I will make sure "not you to inflict yourself on my friends." For years I had fallen into the trap that money and the things that I could acquire with it made me a better and bigger person and I've had nearly all of it, outside of owning private jets, and maybe it's a mid-life crisis, but I just don't care anymore. I want a nice but normal house in a good community of normal people who aren't all like the people I interact with all day. That's how I want my kids to grow up. I grew up as poor as a church mouse and don't like the person I had become but I love what I do. It was this Chicago option or run a non-profit in San Francisco.
My fear of the North Shore, because it is sometimes spoken of in the same way as my current area, is that it will be similar to the Main Line of Philly. Quite simply, I don't want that. I wanted to hear if these suburbs are similar to how I've described the Main Line (or Fairfield County as I have tons of friends there as well) or if there's a more sensible midwestern attitude in that area.
I thank you for your reply although I'm not sure the attitude change is necessary nor is it necessary to turn this political. First of all, I love Philly and wouldn't say a bad thing about it (and I loved living in NYC, SF, LA, Miami, Boston and London). I grew up here and when we returned a few years ago and lived in Center City on one of the best streets in a 5000 sf single family row home (the actual block where Dan Aykroyd lived in Trading Places) we really liked our neighbors. They were the power elite of Philly but were relatable and "normal" from our point of view. When we moved to the equivalent suburbs of the Main Line we felt like we moved into the Stepford Wives. It's a beautiful area and for some an incredible place to live. But the large majority of the people were simply strange for us. Not bad people, just not us. Our two best sets of friends are a 40 year old retired hedge fund manager and his wife and kids who are worth 9 figures but he drives a Toyota pickup truck and lives in a 3500 sf house, and a 60 year old billionaire and his wife who refuses to ever wear a suit ever again and put loud pipes on his Harley to scare the ladies who lunch at the Merion Cricket Club.
I am being brought in to one of the large Chicago financial institutions to start and run an alternative investment strategy after a career in private equity and having most recently jumped into an operating role three years ago as the CEO of a turnaround in Philly, which we just exited at a very healthy return. I'm not fearful of nor is wealth foreign to me. But I do thank you for the condescending and presumptuous attitude and I will make sure "not you to inflict yourself on my friends." For years I had fallen into the trap that money and the things that I could acquire with it made me a better and bigger person and I've had nearly all of it, outside of owning private jets, and maybe it's a mid-life crisis, but I just don't care anymore. I want a nice but normal house in a good community of normal people who aren't all like the people I interact with all day. That's how I want my kids to grow up. I grew up as poor as a church mouse and don't like the person I had become but I love what I do. It was this Chicago option or run a non-profit in San Francisco.
My fear of the North Shore, because it is sometimes spoken of in the same way as my current area, is that it will be similar to the Main Line of Philly. Quite simply, I don't want that. I wanted to hear if these suburbs are similar to how I've described the Main Line (or Fairfield County as I have tons of friends there as well) or if there's a more sensible midwestern attitude in that area.
The North Shore would probably be somewhat similar to what you described in Philly's Main Line suburbs, but perhaps not quite as extreme. But then again, I'm pretty sure that Chicago has at least as much if not more wealth than Philadelphia. Philly's added snobbery or "sophistication" factor if you want to call it that could be purely attributed to the fact that it is situated along the all-powerful Northeast Corridor lol. You were only about 90 miles from NYC / Manhattan at any given time while in Philly really. Chicago kind of stands in its own island if you will. It is the mecca of the more sprawled out, isolated Midwest.
If I were you, I'd probably get a place in Wilmette near the lakeshore or walking distance from the Metra train. This gives you the very good schools & access to the New Trier district, while keeping you within a reasonable commuting distance of Chicago's downtown Loop. If you choose to go with Evanston, it's probably best to stay near Evanston's Central Street area (and as close to the lake as possible).
Unlike Greenwich, Connecticut (you mentioned Fairfield County), the actual North Shore suburbs themselves really don't have hedge funds. These types of powerful financial institutions are for the most part only found in downtown Chicago itself. Obviously many of these Chicago firms' big wigs do commute from the North Shore. You have to get further north to towns such as Winnetka or Lake Forest to feel that the lot sizes are as spaced out as what you'd typically find in back country Greenwich (CT). In Chicago's western suburbs, such an area would be Hinsdale without a doubt.
I would agree with the previous poster. What I would classify as the real Northshore (that you refer to) is everything North of Wilmette. Evanston and Wilmette (some parts) are the exceptions. Evanston benefits from a few things:
- Northwestern Univ - more diversity, more liberal in the last few decades, more intellectual, focus on arts and creativity
- An old town that was built before cars (so more dense and walkable - I guess similar to the old cities on the East coast)
- An interesting mix of pockets of extreme high wealth (mansions along the lakefront) - mixed with more of professional and aspirational upper middle class - mixed with lower middle class. Throw in Kellogg students in the mix too - from all over the world. And some rough pockets too. And all this in a fairly dense town combined with strong communities in the neighborhoods. I also think the midwestern ethos for being simple, humble, frank, work oriented etc. shows through. I guess the super rich could really flaunt (there's at least one billionaire that I have heard of) and lead the super rich lifestyle that is the cliche, but I have hardly ever seen any examples of this. Instead I always get the impression of being discreet, classy, quiet, and being community oriented etc.
- Of late, it has also become the center of gravity for the Northshore in terms of good restaurants, bars, etc. There are now genuinely good options in Evanston that rival Chicago downtown. Chef Brian Huston who runs Boltwood for example is a James Beard semifinalist this year. And places like Bangers & Lace, Ten Mile House, Smylie Brothers, Peckish Pig, Found, Farmhouse, The Cellar, etc are really good options too.
I get the sense that Wilmette is an interesting mix - it is more Northshore but many parts are also similar to Evanston (interestingly, the parts that mostly neighbor Evanston).
Anyway, just my two cents. I could be wrong too - as some of my comments are fairly subjective.
The opportunity to move to SF and run a non-profit would be far more beneficial to the OP, his family, and the greater good. I sincerely wish him luck in this very different path.
Totally agree with asliarun - Wilmette is a nice mix w/ less pretentiousness and lots of benefits (proximity to beach, good schools, and Evanston restaurants etc)
Totally agree with asliarun - Wilmette is a nice mix w/ less pretentiousness and lots of benefits (proximity to beach, good schools, and Evanston restaurants etc)
Wilmette is great, and I've got nothing bad to say about it. That being said, if exposure to more diversity is important, you'll find a lot more of that in Oak Park and Evanston. Crime in Oak Park is a perennial concern, but the stats are comparable to desirable city neighborhoods like Lincoln Park. Evanston is similar and other north shore towns will be much, much lower. River Forest is sorta like Oak Park's Wilmette; a more suburban, ritzier, whiter neighbor.
When we moved to the equivalent suburbs of the Main Line we felt like we moved into the Stepford Wives. It's a beautiful area and for some an incredible place to live. But the large majority of the people were simply strange for us. Not bad people, just not us.
I can relate. We thought that moving to a "affluent light" suburb like Glen Ellyn, which is a rung or two down from the North Shore, would have a more down-to-earth vibe, but the Stepford vibe is alive and well here. And it will be on the North Shore too--but on steroids. Evanston and Oak Park also have their versions, as does just about any other affluent area in this region. Concentrations of people with a lot of money to burn often spin off some strange affluent sub-cultures (Real Housewives?), but the key is to just ignore them and live your life how you want to live.
And to be fair, my wife and I both have advanced degrees and "professional-level" jobs, and we are probably perpetuating some Yuppi-isms ourselves. But it still sometimes feels strange to be surrounded by it. Who knows, there could be some people we know who are put off by our Napa Valley wine-tasting vacations, clothing, or taste in music.
I will say that we have still managed to meet many down-to-earth, nice people... They just aren't as immediately visible. Sometimes it takes a while to find "your people".
Quote:
Originally Posted by sqbqsq
My fear of the North Shore, because it is sometimes spoken of in the same way as my current area, is that it will be similar to the Main Line of Philly. Quite simply, I don't want that. I wanted to hear if these suburbs are similar to how I've described the Main Line (or Fairfield County as I have tons of friends there as well) or if there's a more sensible midwestern attitude in that area.
To be honest with you, I don't think the "Main Line of Philly" is that well known outside of the Philadelphia area, so I'm not sure you'll find many posters with experience of both areas. But the true North Shore on the lake (i.e. Lake Forest, Winnetka, Glencoe, Kennilworth, Highland Park, Wilmette, etc.) is such a small sliver of such a HUGE metro area that $1 million houses kind of put you in the middle of the pack. So consider that. Evanston is different in that it has a somewhat run-down historically African American neighborhood, more apartment buildings, and Northwestern University, but the nicer residential parts of Evanston are nearly indistinguishable from the rest of the North Shore.
I always think of Evanston as being much less Stepford than Glen Ellyn and Naperville, though. Maybe I'm being unfair, but it may have something to do with the large numbers of stay at home moms vs. working moms, and the vibe that gives off. My husband and I often joke that Naperville is one of those places where all of the jocks from high school went to raise their families. Like the pp, my husband and I are both working professionals. We live in Naperville, and the focus here (and in Glen Ellyn, where we visit Lake Ellyn often) often seems to be on sports (especially youth sports), partying, etc. but I don't see a lot of interest in cultural type of things. Whenever I'm in Evanston, it's because I'm attending some kind of cultural festival. I just don't find the same type of vibe that I get in Evanston and Oak Park, even though they are arguably more or just as affluent as Naperville, Glen Ellyn, Geneva, etc.
I always think of Evanston as being much less Stepford than Glen Ellyn and Naperville, though. Maybe I'm being unfair, but it may have something to do with the large numbers of stay at home moms vs. working moms, and the vibe that gives off. My husband and I often joke that Naperville is one of those places where all of the jocks from high school went to raise their families. Like the pp, my husband and I are both working professionals. We live in Naperville, and the focus here (and in Glen Ellyn, where we visit Lake Ellyn often) often seems to be on sports (especially youth sports), partying, etc. but I don't see a lot of interest in cultural type of things. Whenever I'm in Evanston, it's because I'm attending some kind of cultural festival. I just don't find the same type of vibe that I get in Evanston and Oak Park, even though they are arguably more or just as affluent as Naperville, Glen Ellyn, Geneva, etc.
No, that's not it. Glen Ellyn's marquee event over the past several years has been a lovely Jazz festival downtown, though the last few years it hasn't been as good (it used to be run by our local Glen Ellyn jazz radio station, but it was taken over by the Chamber of Commerce). We also have many cultural events at the Mac including an art museum, and our only movie theater in town is an "art house" theater. Evanston is on a different level with Northwestern and perhaps more progressive, but not drastically so. Some people just choose the Western Suburbs because they work in the Western Suburbs.
I have many friends in Evanston, and one recently was complaining about the "gift giving culture" at every social event. She was noticing that people felt the need to bring gifts to basically any sort of social gathering in a home, and that they were often quite expensive. And it basically turned in to a game of "ones-upsmanship" as people kept trying to outdo the others. Evanston is not certainly not immune from the trappings of affluence and status purchasing. There are plenty of Evanston SAHM's pushing $1200 strollers around between the gym and various day-drinking events.
I would, however, be curious in seeing statistics about "stay-at-home-moms" vs. working moms in various suburbs. I'd love to know how different suburbs compare in this regard. I've looked for this info but haven't been successful.
Evanston is one of the most pretentious suburbs out there. IMO. Plenty of smarmy, pretentious working moms up there. And plenty of humble stay at home moms in Glen Ellyn.
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