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Old 12-07-2015, 02:15 PM
 
179 posts, read 494,097 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianRF View Post
I'm assuming you're not gay, right? If not, then I would cool it with the "no one cares" and "get over it- there are mean people everywhere" line of inquiry since it's not helpful nor does it encompass everything I'm asking. Lookout Kid gets it.
You're offended about that, but not that he's suggesting you might mow your lawn in assless chaps?
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:23 PM
 
11,973 posts, read 31,624,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chitownperson View Post
As for the SAHMs thing, it's possibly less pronounce in OP as there are more working moms here. My friends specific experience is that they "group" would only organize events when she was at work and made is hard for her to be included. From her point of view it was specifically mean spirited. I'm not saying this is some kind of a trend there, just that this was her specific experience.
I've searched for statistics on which towns have more working mothers to no avail. But I do suspect that there is a lower percentage of moms who stay home in Oak Park, simply because it allows for quick commutes to and from the Loop, which is the largest job center in our metro area. Most of the working mothers I know of in Glen Ellyn work out in the burbs, out of home offices, or have older children.

That said, I've heard plenty of stories about the Real Housewives of Oak Park from multiple sources. It's still a wealthy suburb with the same trappings as other wealthy suburbs. It's not Portland or Austin, TX.
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:30 PM
 
11,973 posts, read 31,624,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chitownperson View Post
"Bigotry against gays" (or anyone for that matter) does not always have an outwardly expression. Subtle exclusion can be one form… I know of a specific example that a son of a friend who's Mexican is going through right now in Wheaton and it's truly heart breaking. Everything is under the radar, there are no racist words involved, but the way he's being treat (not only by "friends" but his "friends" parents too) is nothing short of disgusting… Not saying this is everyone's experience, and I'm sure that people who conform to certain social norms will be more readily accepted into certain circles, but as far as my friend is concern, she wish she never moved there, being one of the few Latino families in her area. She grew up in a rough area of the city so her inclination was to move further out to a "safe" suburb, and her family is plenty "safe" from certain types of crime, but ...
Chicagoland has a shameful history of racial intolerance, and I don't doubt that these undertones exist in any majority-white suburb. Perhaps the kids in Wheaton feel empowered to express racist attitudes more by having other social conservatives around them? I don't know.

But Wheaton is changing. I have seen outward expressions of affection by gay couples in public places. Wheaton North High School is now 12% Latino students and Wheaton Warrenville South is 16%. The public elementary schools are now 17% Latino. It's not the Wheaton of 1990.
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:44 PM
 
11,973 posts, read 31,624,552 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paige65 View Post
If it's not too far... In addition to Highland Park being very LGBT friendly, there are several stay at home dads scattered throughout the schools as well. Many work PT from home and some are solely full-time SAHDs. As a former elementary PTO president, I can tell you that our school was very welcoming of any parent who wanted to be involved in whatever way possible. Though I do agree with Lookout that the whole SAHM culture can be exclusive, or at least feel that way.

I know of one gay couple with children who left Oak Park to live in HP. I don't want to overstate the number of LGBT families in HP, because it is not a significant number. It wouldn't be like OP or Evanston, but the community culture is very inclusive and socially liberal.
Highland Park has a long-standing reputation for being more liberal than the rest of the "non-Evanston North Shore", and the schools are actually somewhat diverse (white/Hispanic diverse). And you can find the larger lot size compared to Evanston that the OP was looking for. This might be a good choice for them.

And Highland Park is just a lovely suburb. Charming vintage and modern houses, lots of trees, ravines, the lake, a nice downtown area... It's very nice.
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Old 12-07-2015, 02:49 PM
 
1,517 posts, read 2,323,513 times
Reputation: 573
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lookout Kid View Post
But Wheaton is changing. I have seen outward expressions of affection by gay couples in public places. Wheaton North High School is now 12% Latino students and Wheaton Warrenville South is 16%. The public elementary schools are now 17% Latino. It's not the Wheaton of 1990.
I agree with this sediment, and with such a substantial Latino subset in Wheaton schools I find it difficult to believe that someone could feel like "one of the few Latino families in her area." It's simply not true. And I've not seen any trappings of exclusion in my nearly three years in Wheaton, subtle or otherwise. I'm sure it happens, as it does EVERYWHERE, but to suggest that a single moronic friend and his parents are somehow emblematic of a town of nearly 60,000 people is downright ludicrous. For goodness sake, back in January a Wheaton City Councilwoman became the FIRST EVER Hispanic elected to the position of Lieutenant Governor IN THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES!

About Evelyn | Bruce Rauner
Evelyn Sanguinetti will be Illinois’ first Hispanic lieutenant governor | Chicanísima Chicago
Wheaton City Council members happy for Sanguinetti's win | mySuburbanLife.com
https://youtu.be/ISHEAbXAoA8

Sometimes folks just need to get involved in their community! Evelyn's story should put to rest any idea of a systematic "subtle exclusion" of Latinos in Wheaton:

Quote:
"...After being given the green light from her doctor, she ran for City Council of Wheaton and won in 2011. Evelyn currently lives in Wheaton with her husband, Raymond, and their three children. She has been involved in Franklin Middle School, Lowell Elementary School and Jefferson Preschool Parent-Teacher Associations. Evelyn is also a member of the Wheaton Chamber of Commerce and the DuPage County Bar Association. Evelyn and her family are active in Cub Scouts, the Community School of the Arts, Wheaton Briarcliffe Youth Baseball, and sports within the Wheaton Park District."

Last edited by holl1ngsworth; 12-07-2015 at 03:51 PM..
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Old 12-07-2015, 03:43 PM
 
1,517 posts, read 2,323,513 times
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Here's her inauguration speech, which she delivered in both English and Spanish:

https://youtu.be/A5I9bonFnaM
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Old 12-07-2015, 03:52 PM
 
130 posts, read 251,681 times
Reputation: 88
I wasn't "offended" by anything, actually... just irritated by unnecessary repetition and brusque brushing off. I've learned to ignore a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ophidian14 View Post
You're offended about that, but not that he's suggesting you might mow your lawn in assless chaps?
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Old 12-07-2015, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Knoxville, TN
176 posts, read 216,929 times
Reputation: 265
I agree with the Evanston or Oak Park suggestions being obvious ones that would work, but I disagree that the rest of the North Shore would necessarily be unsuitable for a family with LGBT parents. Even Winnetka or Kennilworth would probably be generally fine, although I think Wilmette or Glencoe might be better. I went to New Trier in the mid-2000s and I will say that for a large high school (with all the cruelty and nonsense that happens in high school) it was a pretty LGBT accepting place. A lot of kids were out in high school, and there was high participation in a "day of silence" effort every year to remember and combat hate crimes against LGBT people where people would wear "STOP THE HATE" T-shirts. I'm not saying it was perfect and kids didn't struggle, but compared to what I have heard from gay friends in more conservative parts of the country it seemed like a pretty open and heathy place for LGBT kids. It's certainly a large enough school that people can find their niche.

On the other hand, I can see how it could be alienating to live in these suburbs as a gay family, because honestly the general societal acceptance of same sex parents and having these families move to the suburbs is a pretty new thing. There just are not a whole lot of same sex families in wealthy suburbs in general yet (at least in most parts of the country besides maybe the bay area), and the North Shore is not a place where if you go to school your kids will have a large number of peers with similar family backgrounds (yet at least). So I can see how socially it could be alienating for various reasons, one being the previously mentioned breaking into the stay at home mom clique, another being that your kid might be the only kid with same sex parents in their class and be treated as an "ambassador" for alternate family structures which could be awkward for them. Mostly I think it might be a number of small things that could be frustrating and alienating in a way that I probably don't fully appreciate as a straight person. The degree to which these downsides outweigh the other benefits of the neighborhoods such as housing, great schools, and safe communities seems like a highly individual decision.

From what I have observed in every city I have lived in so far, in general there are more LGBT families in the city or close in urban suburbs. I have lived in both Portland and Austin (which a PP mentioned above as examples of extreme acceptance) and both of those cities have regions that are like the North Shore in that they are wealthy, white suburban communities where people move for good schools and space, and right now there are not as many gay families living there as there are in more diverse, urban neighborhoods. Austin in particular gets much, much more conservative as you move into even the inner ring suburbs. I imagine this will change over time as society gets even more comfortable with LGBT people.
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Old 12-07-2015, 05:39 PM
 
130 posts, read 251,681 times
Reputation: 88
Thanks- I really appreciate your perspective. Winnetka and Kenilworth are on our list, as is Glenview and Highland Park. Any other thought you have are great!

Quote:
Originally Posted by CBB_bear View Post
I agree with the Evanston or Oak Park suggestions being obvious ones that would work, but I disagree that the rest of the North Shore would necessarily be unsuitable for a family with LGBT parents. Even Winnetka or Kennilworth would probably be generally fine, although I think Wilmette or Glencoe might be better. I went to New Trier in the mid-2000s and I will say that for a large high school (with all the cruelty and nonsense that happens in high school) it was a pretty LGBT accepting place. A lot of kids were out in high school, and there was high participation in a "day of silence" effort every year to remember and combat hate crimes against LGBT people where people would wear "STOP THE HATE" T-shirts. I'm not saying it was perfect and kids didn't struggle, but compared to what I have heard from gay friends in more conservative parts of the country it seemed like a pretty open and heathy place for LGBT kids. It's certainly a large enough school that people can find their niche.

On the other hand, I can see how it could be alienating to live in these suburbs as a gay family, because honestly the general societal acceptance of same sex parents and having these families move to the suburbs is a pretty new thing. There just are not a whole lot of same sex families in wealthy suburbs in general yet (at least in most parts of the country besides maybe the bay area), and the North Shore is not a place where if you go to school your kids will have a large number of peers with similar family backgrounds (yet at least). So I can see how socially it could be alienating for various reasons, one being the previously mentioned breaking into the stay at home mom clique, another being that your kid might be the only kid with same sex parents in their class and be treated as an "ambassador" for alternate family structures which could be awkward for them. Mostly I think it might be a number of small things that could be frustrating and alienating in a way that I probably don't fully appreciate as a straight person. The degree to which these downsides outweigh the other benefits of the neighborhoods such as housing, great schools, and safe communities seems like a highly individual decision.

From what I have observed in every city I have lived in so far, in general there are more LGBT families in the city or close in urban suburbs. I have lived in both Portland and Austin (which a PP mentioned above as examples of extreme acceptance) and both of those cities have regions that are like the North Shore in that they are wealthy, white suburban communities where people move for good schools and space, and right now there are not as many gay families living there as there are in more diverse, urban neighborhoods. Austin in particular gets much, much more conservative as you move into even the inner ring suburbs. I imagine this will change over time as society gets even more comfortable with LGBT people.
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Old 12-07-2015, 07:34 PM
 
1,517 posts, read 2,323,513 times
Reputation: 573
Quote:
Originally Posted by holl1ngsworth View Post
For goodness sake, back in January a Wheaton City Councilwoman became the FIRST EVER Hispanic elected to the position of Lieutenant Governor IN THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES!
First ever *female* Hispanic Lieutenant Governor in the United States. First Hispanic in Illinois.
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