lake forest (Chicago, Evanston, Highland Park: wealthiest, suburb, commute to)

[sammy22]

Winnetka is a wonderful town, but very conservative with a lot of old money... surprised you got a "hip" vibe from your visit! I wouldn't rule out Glencoe though, the only difference between Glencoe and Winnetka in terms of demographics is Glencoe's Jewish population (Winnetka's is much smaller), but I don't think this would affect the acceptance of your transracial family. Glencoe is stunning, an in my opinion, even prettier than Winnetka, probably priced around the same though. You may also want to look into Northfield, Glenview and Northbrook, which are all less expensive than Glencoe and Winnetka.

[ellanchanted]

If it makes any difference, Glencoe has always maintained a very small black population throughout the years...Even the ex-mayor James Webb is black. I also agree with sammy22, Glencoe is very stunning!

[chet everett]

I've said this before and it is true: the idea that there are vast stretches of "exclusionary" suburbs is a hold over from times ancient. In every moderately costly/ downright expensive town in the Chicago region the overwhelming attitude is not "omigawd those children have skin a different color than my own" but rather "Cool, I wonder if that is somebody born overseas, or an athlete, or a TV personality, or somebody who runs a financial services firm, or just another successful professional...". I have personally seen this over and over to the point where it is completely unexceptional. Working class areas may be a different story, but I really don't even know if that is true. And unfortunately acceptance does not yet mean there are any particularly large numbers, especially of younger singles...

OK, with that out of the way I would strongly recommend using the Metrarail site to browse over the schedules and you will see that if the 30 mins is his train limit that makes DuPage towns on the BNSF a nice option -- expresses from DG Mainstreat get downtown in 27 minutes on-the-dot. Metra / BNSF Monday - Friday Inbound

If you are not familiar with DG, it is FAR more affordable than anything on the north shore and has a great diversity of housing. You can find some terrific semi-secluded homes just step away from its very nicely developed downtown in the section know as Denburn Woods -- Denburn Woods combines nature and convenience.(Real Estate) | Daily Herald (Arlington Heights, IL) | Find Articles at BNET.com
Kids of all backgrounds are represented in the schools. The excellent Park District has many activities in all seasons, including indoor swimming. Additionally the Indian Boundary YMCA is a hub of activity. DG is a also a hub of "progressives" in the national political speak, very inclusive, known for supporting gay Episcopal ministers and other human rights issues. There are several active Catholic parishes to consider, one near the center of town is St. Joseph, St. Mary of Gostyn is east/central, and Divine Savior is south.

While I have encountered some folks that do not appreciate the offerings that DG has, I have never found a family that was not thrilled with the rich offerings that make this a desirable area for anyone looking for a family oriented "hometown" kind of place.

West of DG you do have longer commutes, east (Hinsdale, Clarendon Hills, Western Springs, LaGrange) you won't get as much for your money. DG might be a great choice, and there are a wide range of lot sizes, some very "city like" and others secluded and/or more rural...

[aztoga]

I love your description of "DG". It sounds like a great place to raise kids. I'm going to do more research. One question though... what does "DG" stand for? Downer's Grove? And what does BNSF stand for?

As for the myth of exclusionary suburbs, I completely understand what you mean and in theory, I agree. I might feel just as confident as you if I wasn't a white parent of both white and black children. I know that there isn't overt racism as people might think. There is, however, a patronizing type of attitude that comes with lack of exposure to people of other races. It takes the form of people gushing over my children's appearance in apparent attempts to overcompensate. If I weren't in the parental position that I am in, I might not believe it but I can say this with confidence because I have experienced it. People in very white, sheltered areas pat my black children on the head and go out of their way to compliment them on their curly hair. This is the type of thing I hope to avoid.

Thanks again.!!

[aztoga]

shedlin- I made it clear that I was speaking from MY own experience as a white person with both white and black children, who is simply trying to find a nice place to live. Your comments were extremely rude and not at all helpful. Accusing me of bigotry is out of line. Go away.

[Anthera]

There are black children in every North Shore community. Even though it upsets people's stereotype, there is at least one transracial family in Kenilworth that I personally know. No community is homogenous. Will there be racism on in a mostly white suburban community? It depends on what you call racism. You won't have a cross burned on your lawn, but yes you might have people going out of their way to be friendly to your children. They may be invited to more birthday parties, because parents wouldn't want to exclude them. "I" wouldn't call this racism. I would think of this as good intentions.


I think your family would be welcomed and accepted in any of the communities you listed. However, if you don't want your children to stand out in a crowd, you should not move to a community where they will look different from 90% plus of the children at their school. If blending in is important, you need to broaden your search area.

[Anthera]

Originally Posted by aztoga

So much great info! I'll try to address some of the points made:

First, my husband wouldn't want to commute more than 30 min via train into downtown. I don't have a sense yet of just how far some of these burbs area but the distance is definitely a factor.

Second, I have looked at the photo thread- thanks for providing such great pics! I think Wheaton and St.Charles look absolutely lovely! I feel creeped out when I see the fields full of new giant homes though (Geneva? Naperville?). Also, I know someone who lived for a short time in Naperville and forgive me, but she now refers to it as Naperhell. She felt like it was very "stepford-ish" there. Lots of "keepin up with the Jonses" and very fake. I guess her experience has scared us away from there and ultimately affected our search. Does anyone concur with her view? Disagree?

Finally, when I say that I would love to have a large lot, I am thinking 1/2 - 1 acre. Not a farm or anything, just room for a decent sized garden and for the kids to run.

Oh yeah- and someone asked why I didn't mention Glencoe or Highland Park. Well, I guess my husband and I tried to pick up on vibes of the realtors at various open houses. Being a transracial family (two of our four children are Ethiopian), we want to be cautious. Being in a diverse neighborhood is not a priority for us but we got a more open minded, hip sort of vibe in Winnetka during our brief time driving around there. It is SO hard to know and I absolutely don't want to offend anyone but we wondered if demographics in Glencoe and HP were just slightly different enough to prevent them from being openly accepted (???) Also, we were told that there are two Catholic churches in Winnetka and none in Glencoe. Its a small thing because we can certainly drive to church, but being part of our neighborhood parish is important to us.

Thanks in advance for feedback-

Aline

Aline,


As a NS native, when my husband went house hunting years ago, we looked at many beautiful homes in Glencoe and Highland Park. We choose not to live in HP because we were not Jewish and did not feel comfortable as minorities, and in Glencoe the thing that put us off was a friend of my parents who had lived there many years offering to outline for us the "Christian" streets so we could confine our search to them. This was in the early 1990's.

I do agree with what you said about Winnetka's "hip" vibe. I think you would enjoy Winnetka.

[Anthera]

ETA- Have you looked at Northfield. Right next to Winnetka, with large lots.

[chet everett]

Floosmoor is about 40 minutes to downtown via the Electric line, not sure that is the best option, but there are some lots that might be bigger, most are tight.

I do have some sympathy for the "strangers" -- my step sister work in Thailand. She had her blond blue-eyed baby over there about two years ago. Despite living in apartments mostly for expats such as herself the sight of her & the child is pretty rare. On a number of occasions at resturants and such the locals have been more than curious, actually walking the litte guy around the block so a waitress could show off the boy to grandma at an apartment around the block and such...

I really cannot see ANYTHING even remotely like that happening in ANY community in Illinois. Before Senator Obama, we did have Sen. Mosely-Braun, people are NOT that provincial...

[cricket00]

Originally Posted by shedlin

Have you considered Homewood-Flossmoor? These are very nice suburbs with nice large homes and an increasingly larger percentage Black population. This way you wouldn't have to fear any racism .

There are Catholic communities in that area that are mixed race and multi-cultural too that you would feel at home at. You also wouldn't have to deal with any of those White "Stepford" types that you seem to feel superior to.

I think you should put your money where your mouth is and move to a multi-racial community instead of one that's historically and culturally clinging to its long-standing character and then implicitly expect everyone to think like you do.

Have you considered an all-Black area? I'm sure there you wouldn't have to be around any racists or people who lack exposure.

what?! wow....this is totally uncalled for and just plain disrespectful.

for the OP: we are also an interracial family (i am white, my husband is black and our twins are biracial, obviously ) that feels quite comfortable on the north shore. like someone else said previously: it's more about economics than race.

good luck in your search!