Gay Family Moving to Lake Forest (Chicago, Wilmette: 2010, leases, insurance)

[bedrinholen]

Does anyone have any tips/ideas to share on acclimating into the Lake Forest community? About us: We are moving from Madison, WI and really enjoy it's culture of eco-conciousness and liberal politics. We are a gay couple (male) with a kindergartner moving in December or January. As most parents, we have found that our social circle has grown to be the parents of our daughter's friends. So, Cherokee School will be a major center of our socializing. Outside of that, any thoughts about ways to meet people?

Thanks.

[linicx]

Some of the things I do in a new town since I don't drink is volunteer, work, library, schools, local hardware stores, and grocery stores. You also might look in the Chicago Meetup groups. I found this for gay parents with children. There are other groups too. Search results - Meetup.com

[chet everett]

I would worry less about politics and eco-consciousness and focus on APPERANCES. If you do so the moms ought to LOVE you. Like the characters from Sex & The City, woman with lots to spend on clothes tend to make great pals with guys that give as much thought to how they dress as gals.

The fact is that the very well off can afford to be much more liberal in their politics than those that are more middle class, so that ought not be a big deal. Similarly even North Shore congress people ROUTINELY support all sorts of environmental protection type policies because the well off of this era care much more about having clean skies in Aspen and pristine fly fishing streams than those of past generations that actually made their fortunes in the "extractive industries"... That said, Lake Forest is home to a fair number of folks in sectors that the current administration seems intent on vilifying and more than a few folks have expressed regret at the way they voted last fall. I would studiously and politely avoid getting into political discussions...

It'll be MUCH harder to make "pals" with the daddies. Even the most open minded of upper income fathers tend to be BIG on traditional competition minded stuff and even if you positively hug your partner non-stop they may very well see both of you as a threat on an almost subconscious level. I have seen this with my own eyes among the handful of gay couples I know in the western suburbs in affluent areas along the BNSF. It is a subtle 'distrust' that sometimes comes out whether the talk is about careers or yard maintenance or sports or music. The best you might hope for is a sort of grudging respect / acknowledgement. Hard to say how this comes about, but here is an example that may perhaps be based on stereotypes, but honestly is a 100% TRUE recounting: Having seen the really excellent job that one gay male couple did in both the exterior heavy duty renovation / landscaping of their home and the very tastefully executed redecorated interiors the comment I heard one straight neighbor tell his wife was "those fellas are both more man than me and more woman than you"...

Good Luck!

[Sunsmile]

have you already bought a property in Lake Forest or are just considering the area?

[Ophidian14]

Originally Posted by chet everett

The fact is that the very well off can afford to be much more liberal in their politics than those that are more middle class, so that ought not be a big deal.

Chet please enlighten us about how thinking a certain way politically costs more money. Is there some sort of thought police tax collectors?

[chet everett]

While I really don't care to litter this thread with too much irrelevant info, having lived in area with very affluent neighbors as well as communities with more moderate average incomes, I have lots of evidence that those with a great deal of disposable income really can afford to support policies that those of more modest means are in opposition to.

One simple example is that those with high incomes generally do support policies that make energy use more expensive. The gas guzzler tax has basically killed off moderately prices vehicles that were high powered and inefficient, while exotic cars are not hurt much at all by having very poor fuel economy. The average MPG on vehicles sold in places like Lake Forest is a fraction of what you'd find at even a dealer that targets those of moderate income: Lake Forest Sportscars - sells and leases new and used Ferrari, Aston Martin, Lotus and Maserati.

I suspect the OP or their partner might drive something like a Prius, and such vehicles are also embraced by those with large disposable incomes, as those of more modest means generally will not see enough savings in fuel use to justify the premium price it commands over a similar sized vehicle that is also frugal with fuel:
State Illinois Illinois
Year 2010 2010
Make Toyota Toyota
Model Corolla Prius
Series Base I
Trim 4D Sedan at 4D Hatchback
Segment Compact, Sedan Compact, Hatchback
Market Price $15,151 $20,997
Rating Good Excellent
Depreciation $7,903 $9,090
Fees & Taxes $1,249 $1,614
Finance $1,786 $2,468
Fuel $4,326 $2,536
Insurance $2,656 $2,995
Opportunity Cost $673 $716
Maintenance $1,098 $1,115
Repairs $202 $202
TOTAL $19,893 $20,736

[bedrinholen]

linicx: thanks for the link to the parents group. These groups can be very helpful.

sunsmile: yes, we are in the process of finalizing a closing. So, assuming everything goes well we will be Lake Foresters.

One thing that we've learned is that people are complex. We all come in all stripes and colors and can be contradictory at times. So, I'm working real hard to not sterotype people of certain incomes or backgrounds. Chet, thanks for your insights. As for "eco-conciousness", we drive a 99 subaru that's missing a hub cap. It has 150K. We are a one car family. I grow lots of my own vegetables and can them. Until recently, we had chickens for their eggs. We compost and try to recycle as much as possible. I'm hoping to find others that share those values. And not feel too out of place. Oh, and find people who maybe even do their own gardening/lawn care!

[outtachicago]

I second the meetup.com group. You can even search for gardeners and other folks that share the common interests you do. Chicago is very gay friendly, as most of the suburbs are. I wish you the best!

[chet everett]

Recycling is common: Recycling Schedule and Guidelines

I would suggest chickens though, not too long ago there was controvery with the Ex-wife of an heir to the Walgreen's firm and her pig: Suburb say pigs aren't welcome: Lake Forest votes to ban farm animals. - Chicago Tribune (Chicago, IL) | Encyclopedia.com

There are plenty of folks that garden, and quite a few that mow their own lawn. Lots of ordinances to make sure no one is making too much of a racket... http://www.cityoflakeforest.com/pdf/cg/codech26.pdf

[robinwg1]

I, too, am from Madison, WI, although I am not gay/lesbian. However, that's irrelevent to what I'm about to state.

I currently live in Chicago, because I could not stand living on the north shore (yes, I did live there, and I'm a professional). Although Lake Forest is incredibly charming and definitely has some nice places, I find it uncomfortably stuffy, as with most north suburbs east of the tollway from LF south to Wilmette. It's also incredibly white, which I don't much care for. In my experience, a little diversity in any fashion provokes a bit more tolerance/acceptance.

All in all, it really just depends on what you're looking for. But, I can tell you that you will not find the liberal environment you're used to in this suburb. In general, you just can't compare a large college town to a far suburb. And, Lake County is historically REPUBLICAN. That is a fact.

Good luck with your move, and I hope you find the best fit for your family