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Seriously? No difference in maturity between a sophomore in high school who has just learned to drive and someone in their first year out of college?
That is not what I said.
This is what I said:
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonythetuna
Guys maturity level changes little between 16 and 23.
If we are taking sexual maturity into consideration, there is a huge difference between a 30 year old and 24 year old guy. That is another reason younger women like older guys.
black men will ask a white woman they like out without hesitation. while a white man will sit there, stare at you, not say anything because they're scared and hope you'll notice them starring at you and i guess you have to ask them for their number, flirt, or something otherwise nothing happens. i give black men acknowledgement for having confidence
If the man, white in your example is attracted to you and you give him the signals he will approach you! My current group of single male friends, who are Black, Asian, White and Hispanic are all about the same when they approach woman; They like you, theyre going to approach you! The white guys in the group may be slightly more reserved, but that's only cause theyre checking you out just a little longer..JK maybe. The most popular guy in the group with all woman happens to be Asian..He predominatley dates White/Hispanic and says he's only closed to Asians..Go figure? It's societal influence that tells each that we shouldn't see each other. It is quickly going away! Another 5 years and it's going to be more common than anybody would realize even today, probably not to the point of BM/WW but much more common. Yeah, there's people that will still view it as a taboo, but nature abhores a vacuum as they say and if you have groups of individuals that are looking, that vacuum will be filled. If you open the door enough, there could be a good lookin Hispanic or Asian guy in your future too.
Last edited by Docaholic; 03-08-2011 at 10:33 AM..
Just spent the last two days at work reading this thread! I am a Black 26-year-old woman, combat veteran, making $75k a year for the past 3 years - no college degree (but I’m in college now- 2 classes a semester)- I also have two other consistent streams of income which altogether gross me about $90k per year . I date who ever I like- and it has NEVER been an issue, concern, or problem. I am 5’5, 125 pounds- slim, and a “light skin red bone”. I am very into keeping myself fit, and all the feminine things women do- mani/pedi, facials, laser teeth whitening, wear a lot of dresses and high heels, etc. I take pride in my appearance. I feel that my looks have helped me in the military, school, dating, the industry I am in now- All of my pursuits. I volunteer at the University of Chicago, and I am training for the Chicago Marathon- I meet all different type of people in these pursuits- and honestly there aren’t many Black people around- male or female. I spend all of my down time downtown, and I am very versatile with my interests- went sky diving- was one of the only Black people there when we suited up to jump. I go where my interests’ are and the people I meet with similiar interests as my own are primarily other than Black. I have a passport, which I do get to use 2 to 3 times a year. I don’t wait for anything- and that includes men (if I so choose) If I see someone I like- Black, White, whoever- I approach him. That’s my approach for everything in life- I’m not going to wait for men or things/goals, etc. to come to me- I'm going to get it, and make it happen.
As a teen I always thought I would be with Black men- it wasn’t really a thought, it was just like something natural. As a young adult this hasn’t really happened- which is honestly fine either way. I do feel that I have to date older men to feel I am with someone with attributes comparable to my own, and someone who is complimentary to me- which can be a positive or a negative- but its really what I make of it. Currently I am dating an older White man- we have been together on and off for 2 and a half years- very ON right now. He is awesome- and I hope he eventually asks to marry me- but if not, I feel like it would be HIS loss! J. He is extremely successful, single, and has no children (he is about to retire (very early for his age), and actually does want at least one biological child- I would prefer to adopt)
Basically I felt compelled to post because I feel some of the women seem as if they base their choice on what they think the men want, feel, or think. I am of the position that initially its about me- and then you meet the man and start to compromise and sort things out.
I have always got “hit on” a lot- since high school- and not much has changed. I have even been hit on by Indian and Chinese men- which to me is like Wow! Esp. the Chinese guy… As I near 30 I don’t feel in a hurry to settle down, or any of that. I am having a plum blast following my heart and my passions. My life is very stress free and drama free- because that is very important to me and I do things to ensure it is kept that way. I have never been one to have to have or need a man- I focused on my personal goals and establishing myself- men will come when its time. I have never done things “traditionally” and I find that it works really well for me. Also- I feel its only fair that I point out that my looks are not like run way supermodel- they are not average plain Jane looks- just me…I feel I am pretty/attractive, etc. but I don’t think/feel my looks are my best attribute- and I hope others don’t think that either- When I assess myself as a TOTAL PACKAGE I feel that I am not lacking much - honestly- and for my age etc. (but we can always improve, grow, advance, etc.) People should also take this into consideration when looking for partners- the package as a whole- not just ONE attribute is what should fully draw you in. I know hands down my personality is what really draws people in. Even though I have the BIGGEST almond shaped eyes ever which gives me an "exotic" look. I just love people and that energy radiates off of me- I have been told this all my life- even since I was a kid- I believe its true…
I believe in life- in every aspect- finances, career, family, friends, men, etc. you get what you give- and you receive what your mind believes- cut out all the negativity! Seriously your thoughts manifest into REALITY! I don’t know how or why but this is so true in my life. I think people should go for what they want- no matter what others think- and if you get knocked down- get back up. Be persistent. Your life is what YOU make it- not anyone else. You can have ALL of your desires- it comes down to you making a CHOICE to get them… This is something I am so glad I learned VERY early in life. You have to put yourself in the PLACES to get the THINGS (men, career, etc.) that you are looking for. If not- you will never FIND/GET it. To me that’s very simple and common sense.
Bask in the power of your right to have choices and be in charge of how your life will be. Be active and persistent in your pursuits and you will get all you have ever wanted!
Last edited by DowntownSnob2011; 06-30-2011 at 08:01 AM..
-Do you find it easy to date in Chicago?
-Are the men forward? (my preference)
-Is interracial dating common?
-Can you recommend Chicago for another single black woman?
-And if so, are there particular areas you would recommend?
I currently live in Indy and dating here sucks big time. I have a lot of female friends who are educated, professional and very single -just like me. It's part of the reason why I want to leave and move to an area that has better odds.
Chicago is on the list of places I'm considering but I want to make sure that I don't end up in the same situation I am currently in.
I know this might seem like a weird question to be asking, but hey, I am beyond shame at this point. Dating is very important to me and I want to love (and be loved lol)
N.B. I would like this question to be answered primarily by black women since dating can sometimes be challenging for us (see the numerous articles that have been written about black women being the least married demographic in the United States) but if anyone has any good advice, I am all ears.
You want to love and be Loved??? Why not just love yourself?
FlyiMetro:
Ummmmmmmmm, what led you to believe that Peachlilies doesn't love herself. You can love yourself, be your own best friend, treat yourself well and still want romantic companionship. She wants to give some of that love to another person and wants to be on the receiving end as well. I get it, I'm there too.
I posted on this forum over a week ago about interracial friendships and romantic relationships, and I thank everyone for being civil and informative. After reading 10+ pages of THIS forum: wow. Some mean, ridiculous things were posted about black women. Since age 17, I have only dated one black guy, the rest were white or Mexican. I fit no black female racial stereotypes, I'm educated, cultured, hold a good job, I put my womanhood before my race and to read some of the gross generalizations made by people on this thread made my stomach hurt. It sounds like when it comes to interracial interactions, Chicago isn't too different than Phoenix/Tucson, which makes me a little sad. Sorry to beat the dead horse but but I just had to throw in my two cents, 'tis all.
I've been home (in Chicago ) a lot recently and just started seeing a black woman. My family isn't too happy about it, but no one on the streets seems to even notice. Interracial dating is common in Chicago. Knowing my friends in the area, I'd definitely say they're forward and that the singles scene is awesome.
As far as areas to recommend... Oddly enough, I feel that Wicker Park and Ukranian Village, University and all those, have a pretty good vibe for singles. Hope you like hipsters! :P
Just spent the last two days at work reading this thread! I am a Black 26-year-old woman, combat veteran, making $75k a year for the past 3 years - no college degree (but I’m in college now- 2 classes a semester)- I also have two other consistent streams of income which altogether gross me about $90k per year . I date who ever I like- and it has NEVER been an issue, concern, or problem. I am 5’5, 125 pounds- slim, and a “light skin red bone”. I am very into keeping myself fit, and all the feminine things women do- mani/pedi, facials, laser teeth whitening, wear a lot of dresses and high heels, etc. I take pride in my appearance. I feel that my looks have helped me in the military, school, dating, the industry I am in now- All of my pursuits. I volunteer at the University of Chicago, and I am training for the Chicago Marathon- I meet all different type of people in these pursuits- and honestly there aren’t many Black people around- male or female. I spend all of my down time downtown, and I am very versatile with my interests- went sky diving- was one of the only Black people there when we suited up to jump. I go where my interests’ are and the people I meet with similiar interests as my own are primarily other than Black. I have a passport, which I do get to use 2 to 3 times a year. I don’t wait for anything- and that includes men (if I so choose) If I see someone I like- Black, White, whoever- I approach him. That’s my approach for everything in life- I’m not going to wait for men or things/goals, etc. to come to me- I'm going to get it, and make it happen.
As a teen I always thought I would be with Black men- it wasn’t really a thought, it was just like something natural. As a young adult this hasn’t really happened- which is honestly fine either way. I do feel that I have to date older men to feel I am with someone with attributes comparable to my own, and someone who is complimentary to me- which can be a positive or a negative- but its really what I make of it. Currently I am dating an older White man- we have been together on and off for 2 and a half years- very ON right now. He is awesome- and I hope he eventually asks to marry me- but if not, I feel like it would be HIS loss! J. He is extremely successful, single, and has no children (he is about to retire (very early for his age), and actually does want at least one biological child- I would prefer to adopt)
Basically I felt compelled to post because I feel some of the women seem as if they base their choice on what they think the men want, feel, or think. I am of the position that initially its about me- and then you meet the man and start to compromise and sort things out.
I have always got “hit on” a lot- since high school- and not much has changed. I have even been hit on by Indian and Chinese men- which to me is like Wow! Esp. the Chinese guy… As I near 30 I don’t feel in a hurry to settle down, or any of that. I am having a plum blast following my heart and my passions. My life is very stress free and drama free- because that is very important to me and I do things to ensure it is kept that way. I have never been one to have to have or need a man- I focused on my personal goals and establishing myself- men will come when its time. I have never done things “traditionally” and I find that it works really well for me. Also- I feel its only fair that I point out that my looks are not like run way supermodel- they are not average plain Jane looks- just me…I feel I am pretty/attractive, etc. but I don’t think/feel my looks are my best attribute- and I hope others don’t think that either- When I assess myself as a TOTAL PACKAGE I feel that I am not lacking much - honestly- and for my age etc. (but we can always improve, grow, advance, etc.) People should also take this into consideration when looking for partners- the package as a whole- not just ONE attribute is what should fully draw you in. I know hands down my personality is what really draws people in. Even though I have the BIGGEST almond shaped eyes ever which gives me an "exotic" look. I just love people and that energy radiates off of me- I have been told this all my life- even since I was a kid- I believe its true…
I believe in life- in every aspect- finances, career, family, friends, men, etc. you get what you give- and you receive what your mind believes- cut out all the negativity! Seriously your thoughts manifest into REALITY! I don’t know how or why but this is so true in my life. I think people should go for what they want- no matter what others think- and if you get knocked down- get back up. Be persistent. Your life is what YOU make it- not anyone else. You can have ALL of your desires- it comes down to you making a CHOICE to get them… This is something I am so glad I learned VERY early in life. You have to put yourself in the PLACES to get the THINGS (men, career, etc.) that you are looking for. If not- you will never FIND/GET it. To me that’s very simple and common sense.
Bask in the power of your right to have choices and be in charge of how your life will be. Be active and persistent in your pursuits and you will get all you have ever wanted!
Ha ha ha LMAO..yea right.
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please sober up, but not for me ... 8-)
. Dating is very important to me and I want to love (and be loved lol) 
Why not just love yourself?
) a lot recently and just started seeing a black woman. My family isn't too happy about it, but no one on the streets seems to even notice. Interracial dating is common in Chicago. Knowing my friends in the area, I'd definitely say they're forward and that the singles scene is awesome. 
