Single Black women of Chicago- What's the dating scene like? (Oak Park: night club, Whole Foods)

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Army_Guy

When are the guys going to start pulling their weight? Is that too much to ask for?

It depends on what guys your writing about.

I see dead beats all the time but I don't know any.

I don't have a problem with people finding love where they find it. Inter racial dating is great!

Every White male who I know that married a Black lady has one thing in common. They all have an exceptionally strong character with a extra healthy self esteem.

I absolutely hate with a passion when I hear others say there are no good Black men. Especially when its coming from a White man. Good Black men are out here. We run businesses and have good jobs. Many of us are married with successful home life. Some of us are single, you see us at Whole Foods, 6am jogging down Hyde Park blvd, at church on Sunday morning. (The guy with the dreads sitting in the back). We are the bald headed brothas running through the el station to catch the train home.

Our profile is so diverse but women have to have their eyes open to see us. Negative women don't recognize us. Only the good ones do. When you tell a Black man that brothas need to pull their own weight there is going to be some tension brought into the picture. Not because your WM with BF but because your statement can be taken as racial. Your stereotyping a group based on color when most Black men see the good in ourselves. We don't need your outside judgments.

Army_guy, I have no problem with you on this forum nor do I intend to develop anything negative. You can't go to you girlfriends family reunion and tell her father that black men need to do this and that. It won't work. You may leave in an ambulance at best. You shouldn't expect anything different.

[Chicago South Sider]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

Army_guy, I have no problem with you on this forum nor do I intend to develop anything negative. You can't go to you girlfriends family reunion and tell her father that black men need to do this and that. It won't work. You may leave in an ambulance at best. You shouldn't expect anything different.

I have to agree with what you're saying here. I would be highly offended if some random white guy asked me when I was going to start pulling my weight or some nonsense like that.

[git45]

Originally Posted by Peacelilies

-Do you find it easy to date in Chicago?
-Are the men forward? (my preference)
-Is interracial dating common?
-Can you recommend Chicago for another single black woman?
-And if so, are there particular areas you would recommend?

I currently live in Indy and dating here sucks big time. I have a lot of female friends who are educated, professional and very single -just like me. It's part of the reason why I want to leave and move to an area that has better odds.

Chicago is on the list of places I'm considering but I want to make sure that I don't end up in the same situation I am currently in.

I know this might seem like a weird question to be asking, but hey, I am beyond shame at this point. Dating is very important to me and I want to love (and be loved lol)

N.B. I would like this question to be answered primarily by black women since dating can sometimes be challenging for us (see the numerous articles that have been written about black women being the least married demographic in the United States) but if anyone has any good advice, I am all ears.

Lol! I only laugh because it makes me recall Chicago's greatest dating cliche: "Are you hitting on me, or are you just being nice?" Gotta love the Midwest

[urza216]

Originally Posted by Army_Guy

I was talking to a black female friend, I said that I believe that black men are more prone to violence than other men. So she tells her boyfriend, he's black, and you know what he says to her? "I oughta beat his *****."

Let's not forget the flip side of that same coin. Why is he so so sure he CAN beat your ***? Is it because you're white?

[Army_Guy]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

Army_guy, I have no problem with you on this forum nor do I intend to develop anything negative. You can't go to you girlfriends family reunion and tell her father that black men need to do this and that. It won't work. You may leave in an ambulance at best. You shouldn't expect anything different.

Ah, but doesn't that just play into the negative stereotype?

[Army_Guy]

Originally Posted by urza216

Let's not forget the flip side of that same coin. Why is he so so sure he CAN beat your ***? Is it because you're white?

Well, I'm not white but I guess he thinks because he's 6'4" of flab, he can beat up little 5'6" Asian guys that have worked at night clubs in Harvey and Dolton.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Army_Guy

Ah, but doesn't that just play into the negative stereotype?

I don't think so.

You don't see anything wrong with racial stereotypes when your with your girl friends family and friends? How would you feel if your sister brought someone home and started a racists rant about Asians or the area your ancestors are from? I don't believe that you can't understand what your saying? You better take some time out of the dating scene or out of life in general and learn some lesson on respect and tollerence and the effects of stereotypes or else you will have a difficult time dealing with people!

[Army_Guy]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

You don't see anything wrong with racial stereotypes when your with your girl friends family and friends? How would you feel if your sister brought someone home and started a racists rant about Asians or the area your ancestors are from? I don't believe that you can't understand what your saying? You better take some time out of the dating scene or out of life in general and learn some lesson on respect and tollerence and the effects of stereotypes or else you will have a difficult time dealing with people!

I couldn't care less what stereotypes there are about anyone. I was talking about the subject matter here.

You say you have nothing negative towards me but all I'm trying to do is have a conversation while you're giving off a bad vibe towards me, especially with your use of the !

I don't have a difficult time dealing with people at all and I'm not in the dating scene since I've been with the same woman for 6 years.

I'm merely bringing up stereotypes. What sentence did I say they are true? Did I ever all all black guys are this, all Mexicans are that or Asians are all the above?

[ptug101]

This is all wrong first.

In regards to Black Males,of course Black males are going to have a higher unemplyment rate.
You have to understands blacks have really only been let into the real economy since the 1970's
its going to take about a good 100 yrs for thing to level out,atleast three generations.

BM/BF who date outside there race most stop being unsympathetic to their opposite gender in there race.
Yes Black Males are less educated then White males, but White Females are more educated than Black females
so denigrate each others Socio-economic status is pointless and you are low key cosigning white peoples racism who say that Black are to blame for they own condition. i date outside my race alot,but I date Black Woman occasionaly
but I am sympathetic to the struggle of the black women. I understand that a black woman may not have the time or access to healthcare and fitness,so its ok if she is not as fit as a white girl, I understand that black woman are more stressed in life so if they have a litle more attitude than a white girl i might date that is fine

At the sametime black females should acknowledge that black males are discriminated against in corporate america
so yes it might be hard to find a 100k yr type brother,but its not all the mens fault there are a whole host of socio-economic variables and intagibles this is all backed by scientfic research,so I think sisters should cut brothers a break

The reason some interracials couples get comments is because people think they have contempt for the opposite gender of your own race, and judging by he comments of some of the Bf non-BM's some of those stereotypes are true.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Army_Guy

I couldn't care less what stereotypes there are about anyone. I was talking about the subject matter here.

You say you have nothing negative towards me but all I'm trying to do is have a conversation while you're giving off a bad vibe towards me, especially with your use of the !

I don't have a difficult time dealing with people at all and I'm not in the dating scene since I've been with the same woman for 6 years.

I'm merely bringing up stereotypes. What sentence did I say they are true? Did I ever all all black guys are this, all Mexicans are that or Asians are all the above?

All that I was writing is if you go around talking mess to BW and they go back and tell their BM boyfriends, don't be surprised when you get some negative kickback. Especially saying stuff about what BM need to do. You definitely won't win any points with her family.