Single Black women of Chicago- What's the dating scene like? (Humboldt: neighborhoods, college)

[allen2323]

Originally Posted by outofmyelement

Young white men of my generation prefer very slim women. I've had boyfriends who watched my favorite old fifties movies with me and commented on the "chubby girls" back then being presented as sex symbols. In my adult life I ONLY get attention from young (ie. under 40) white men when my BMI is under 22. In addition, 100% of the black girls I know who have dated white men have been very thin. It is what it is.

I think it comes down to most white guys not feeling comfortable approaching attractive african american women mostly to do with the fear of rejection and the chance of being shot down is great. The fact is most attractive african american women prefer african american men. And most attractive white women prefer white men. And, I am using term attractive loosely, mainly just not obese as most guys of any race would agree on that. Both, attractive white women and attractive african american women don't have a shortage of men of there own races to choose from. The difference in the obesity rates with african american women I think gives attractive african american women even more of an advantage and allows them to be even more selective, because there are fewer of them. It's usually up to the man to initiate first contact especially when dating interracially. Most people who have dated interracially will tell you this, including myself. I initiated the contact when I first met my fiancee also. Attractive Asian and attractive latina women are more likely to be open to dating other races and because of this are more approachable. For whatever reason more african american men are willing to take the chance even though it's likely or atleast very possible they will be rejected to talk to attractive white women which is why you see more african american men dating attractive white women then you see white men dating attractive african american women. As far as the overweight thing, most men of all races find overweight women less attractive. I think now days like 30 percent of all white women, 40 percent of all latina women, and 50 percent of all african american women are not only overweight but fall into the medical category of being obese. America is just an overweight country all around. But, percentage wise there are fewer obese white women.

[Humboldt1]

Allen,

Why do so many successful black men have trophy white wives?

I don't believe it is a status thing for a white man to have a black wife.

As far as white men being afraid to ask a black woman out I call BS.

Most white guys just are not interested in black woman.

I have been approached by numerous black women in the past (attractive, thin and somewhat thick) and have actually found them to be quite aggressive and upfront. I am just not interested.

The same is true for a lot od white guys with asians and hispanics but it is much more accepted to date/marry an asian or hispanic.

I don't think it is because the dorky white guys are afraid of being turned down.

[mas23]

I agree with allen. First alot of white guys are not interested but the ones who are interested in dating black women are ussually afraid of rejection and they might think that they dont have enough "swag" to be with a black woma. Its either that or they dont want to disobey thier parents. This is not just white guys but it applies to plenty of asians and some hispanics (i've seen more latino man and black woman couples than others tho).

As far as the trophy wife thing, IMHO, that has more to do with the media. White women are portrayed in better light than black women unfortunately and alot of black dudes out here actually fall for that s***.

anyway back to the original topic, Chicago should be fine If you are looking to date interracially however some area have more of it like the north side or hyde park, oak park (suburb) ect ect..

mas23

[ajolotl]

Too many generalizations here in my opinion. Black/white aren't that well mixed socially in Chicago, so I'd expect many more same-race couples (more opportunities, less stigma). In terms of who is attracted to whom, I think there is a little bit of everything and it varies person to person, but people as a whole are probably more open minded than any of these sweeping generalizations. Remove remaining black/white social and cultural barriers and I bet we'll see a lot more interracial couples. A good thing in my opinion though I'm sure not everyone agrees.

This thread is hilarious. Can't believe the points of view expressed and how civil it has been.

[Chicagoland60426]

I been lurking forums that are primarily Asian or White(not stormfront) with this topic and basically most of them expressing their opinion are not into bw. To put it bluntly, most of them think bw are ugly, with the exceptions of lighter ones like Beyonce and Rihanna. The other reason is they think bw are too aggressive and loud.

For the white and Asian men who are interested, I going to echo Mas23 and agree that many are afraid to approach attractive bw. Shoot, even some bm are hesitant to approach fine bw. This goes for every race of males that think they don't have enough swag or game to pull an attractive female. There are White men with Black women in Chicago proper, not a whole lot tho. Everytime I go to the loop, I always see a few wm/bw couples holding hands or hugged up. Asian men/bw couples are super rare in these neck of the woods. I don't see them

[Humboldt1]

Among hispanics it is more common to see puerto ricans with black women than mexicans. This makes sense as many puerto ricans have african ancestry.

I agree that you see very few asian/black couples. It is much more common to black/white couples. I also see fewer mexican/black couples compared to white/black couples.

As the last poster referenced, thru the media we are taught that the most attractive black women are often the whitest (beyonce, halle barry, horne, etc). Naomi Campbell would be a notable exception. I think the media and our parents have gone along way to shape what we perceive as attractive or not.

[allen2323]

Originally Posted by Humboldt1

Among hispanics it is more common to see puerto ricans with black women than mexicans. This makes sense as many puerto ricans have african ancestry.

I agree that you see very few asian/black couples. It is much more common to black/white couples. I also see fewer mexican/black couples compared to white/black couples.

As the last poster referenced, thru the media we are taught that the most attractive black women are often the whitest (beyonce, halle barry, horne, etc). Naomi Campbell would be a notable exception. I think the media and our parents have gone along way to shape what we perceive as attractive or not.

I think men are men and to put it in simple terms most men find attractive women to be attractive. Being socially acceptable to date or marry is another thing entirely. Of course, all men have there preferences. Obviously attractive white women are far more open to dating and marrying african american men, than attractive african american women are to dating and marrying white men. I don't get that? Something in our society has made it taboo for african american women and white men to date and marry. This taboo exist among fairer complected attractive african american women and darker complected attractive african american women alike.

[ajolotl]

I guess I never realized that. Just did a mental survey of nearby houses -- 7 mixed race couples, in six the man is black. The seventh did cause me to double-take when I first met them -- a pretty tall and sturdy black woman with a shorter, blue collar city worker pasty white husband. You never know. Black woman comes across as much more educated and refined, though I'm not sure what she does. Husband is a unionized something or the other. Great kids.

[urza216]

Originally Posted by lenniel

I don't understand your comment. Is race off limits?

The Chicago forum and Chicago Suburbs forum have had a lot of threads discussing race. There's been name calling and the discussion gets very heated, to say the least.

[urza216]

Originally Posted by ajolotl

Black/white aren't that well mixed socially in Chicago, so I'd expect many more same-race couples (more opportunities, less stigma).

There are more black girls than white girls at my community college (Prairie State College). I still don't see too many white guys with black girls on campus.