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Old 08-01-2011, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Chicago (from pittsburgh)
2,533 posts, read 2,114,971 times
Reputation: 1764

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I'll be having the same situation in about 4 weeks when I move. coworkers will be my first sorry attempt at friends.
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Old 08-01-2011, 10:47 AM
 
Location: Denver, CO
816 posts, read 1,243,899 times
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A few things to add here...

1. I think meeting people this day and age (2011) is tougher than it was in the past, because people generally don't get to know their neighbors, have a community based around geographical location anymore. I believe that people are more commonly isolated nowadays than they were before, and knowing someone over the internet only is not a real substitute for actual human contact.

2. Part of the manner in which people meet people is just plain luck. Some people work with a lot of people that are similar and become friends, others don't. If you join a softball team, a church, volunteer, etc. hoping to meet people, a lot still depends on who ends up being on your team, in your group, etc. Sometimes it gets frustrating, and people with bad luck end up thinking they have some kind of personality flaw or something, which is sad. However, I would say that it helps to generally be a friendly person, and not be shy. People who are outgoing and energetic just seem to have an easier time making friends, no matter what the age.

3. I actually think there are sometimes exceptions to the "set in your life" notion. Sometimes it is the case that someone has a good social group, and really not wanting new people, or are afraid to bring any new people to their current friends. However, I kind of see things differently. I see nothing wrong with someone new coming into a social group that is already established. It is really just a matter of whether or not a person fits in to a social group, and there are many reasons a person may or may not fit (sense of humor, preferred activities, values, etc.). But, I don't see it as a maximum size type of thing, and always appreciate new people being brought into my groups so long as I get along with them.
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Old 08-01-2011, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Chicago
1,863 posts, read 1,669,109 times
Reputation: 1946
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwaiter View Post
It sounds like you're doing the right things (meetup.com & volunteer work), so it may take a little longer, but I'm sure you'll get a social life up and running soon. Not sure I can add much, perhaps taking a class or two at the Discovery Center > Discovery Center - Chicago Lifelong Learning Center - Dance classes, Business Training, Computer Instruction, Language Lesson
or joining an athletic league, if you're into any sports. Hang out at a nearby coffeehouse?

I like the idea of classes at Discovery Center, but to be totally honest, the painting class I took there sucked so much I stopped going after 4 weeks because it was just a big waste of time.

To the OP, if you are interested in art and are considering a class, I highly recommend the classes at Lillstreet Art Center. Art Classes for Adults & Kids in Chicago | Lillstreet Art Center. I'm taking a class there on casting (metals/jewelry) and it's great. You learn a lot, the instructors are nice and make everything easy, and I find it easy to talk to the other people in the classes. I haven't met anyone in class yet that has turned into a friend outside of that setting, but it is something I'm always open to. I love jewelry and none of my current friends have any interest in it at all (besides wearing it occasionally). So I go into every class hoping to meet some cool jewelry freaks like myself. So, just throwing that out there as another option to meet people.

I didn't have much luck with Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup, to be honest. That could be due to the fact that I joined a kickball team though, I'm not sure... maybe I should have tried a different type of club. I would love to meet some normal people near my age; after being out of school for 7 years, a lot of my college friendships just feel worn out and they don't really make sense the way they used to.
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Old 08-01-2011, 11:14 AM
 
Location: Chicago
1,863 posts, read 1,669,109 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SJaye View Post
3. I actually think there are sometimes exceptions to the "set in your life" notion. Sometimes it is the case that someone has a good social group, and really not wanting new people, or are afraid to bring any new people to their current friends. However, I kind of see things differently. I see nothing wrong with someone new coming into a social group that is already established. It is really just a matter of whether or not a person fits in to a social group, and there are many reasons a person may or may not fit (sense of humor, preferred activities, values, etc.). But, I don't see it as a maximum size type of thing, and always appreciate new people being brought into my groups so long as I get along with them.
I totally agree with you here. I've always lived in the Chicago area, so I do have a good amount of solid social connections set and I can almost always find someone to do something with. But, I don't know if it's just me or what, I am starting to really get tired of some of my friends. We haven't gone in the same directions since college and a lot of my friendships just don't make sense the way they used to. I would love to meet new people who are more on my wavelength. I'd be happy to have some new faces in my social circle... but like the OP, I don't really know how to find them and I haven't been super successful in the attempts I've made so far.

I think most people are open to inviting new friends into their lives, I can't imagine why a person wouldn't be interested in that, to be honest.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:10 PM
 
830 posts, read 1,129,159 times
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I once posted something here on City-Data about how easy it is to meet people in college, but once you are out of school, it is very hard to keep that social momentum going. In the average four year college plan, you have something like 40 classes, each with at least 20 people in it, giving you the ability to meet something like 800 people when you are in college...it is more than that if you are in a frat or sorority...so leaving school and starting the working world can seem like it is hard to meet people. I had the same experience moving here to chicago...very difficult to break into people's social network. I had to eventually just be my normal funny self at work etc and then people would invite me for drinks etc. Very unpredictable but if you stay involved in things you will meet people eventually.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:28 PM
 
110 posts, read 128,622 times
Reputation: 55
For volunteering, try One Brick: Volunteer | Volunteer Opportunities | One Brick. They believe in social, volunteer when you feel like it volunteering and they work with charities in nearly every neighborhood in the city. Most volunteer events are followed by a group trip to a bar.
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
566 posts, read 1,293,779 times
Reputation: 411
Having a dog helps. You'll meet a lot more of your neighbors (with dogs) that way. Although, you'll usually end up remembering the dog's name and not their owners.
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Old 08-01-2011, 03:45 PM
 
Location: International Spacestation
5,208 posts, read 3,027,961 times
Reputation: 1415
Quote:
Originally Posted by nowincal11 View Post
Most people in Chicago meet people thru friends or work. There is a huge divide between people who grew up in Chicagoland versus people who didn't. I used to meet people who said they only had friends not from Chicago.

Where do you live? What is your age range? Where do you hang out?
Yea I agree with this...gotta meet people at work, or special interest clubs.
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Old 08-01-2011, 05:06 PM
 
Location: Chicago
4,315 posts, read 6,000,813 times
Reputation: 2291
The people that I frequently go out with now are not HS/College friends. Most are friends I met through work, some are through sports teams that I originally joined with college friends, some were neighbors that I kept in touch with even after moving out of the neighborhood.

The remainder are mostly prison penpals.

So, you've got options.
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Old 08-01-2011, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Chicago
841 posts, read 703,950 times
Reputation: 1057
Hey, deadplant, thanks for One Brick. They've got a very active calendar, which should at least just give me some things to do.

I'm a pretty friendly person and all the friends I've made since college were through work. The problem with my new job is it's a small place with a lot of old people. They're great, but they don't wanna go to happy hour with me.


Oh -- and hey. Why'd my subject line change? I thought it was funny the way it was. Apparently someone disagrees.
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