U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Illinois > Chicago
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-27-2011, 06:59 AM
 
Location: Chicago
2,932 posts, read 2,671,085 times
Reputation: 2135
Default closure: the incredible, catastrophic, fatal decline of Chicago!

Dear Non-Chicago Forumers,

You have come here frequently with questions about the horrible state of affairs in Chicago, a city that you are sure is in incredible, catastrophic, fatal (did I mention "catatonic) decline.

Of course, you are right. It is. And we know that it is sympathy and your concern for your fellow cities that prompts the inquiries

Yes, we are a basket case. To note:

• numbers: by the 2020 census, it is expected that our population will drop to 40th place among American cities, right below Omaha (and that doesn't even count the cows in the Nebraska city's stock yards)

• Race: it's true. we hate anyone who has a different skin color than ours. worse still, we even hate those with the same skin color. In Chicago, drinking fountains are labeled "white only", "hispanic only", "asian only". we are so prejudice we don't even provide black drinking fountains.

• climate: yes, the Chamber of Commerce does tout our "yearly average 70 temperature, but that's a little ingenuious. That number comes from a 140 summer average temperature, 0 average in the winter. In Chicago, we are literally out of the frying pan and into the ice box.

• false front: our downtown and our lakefront are as you have heard: mere fascades. In fact, nothing more than a Hollywood screen set that can only be truly appreciated from way out on Lake Michigan. Behind the screen set lies only poverty, misery, and decaying old factories.

• wearing white after labor day: Chicago, as you know, has no sense of fashion. You'd be correct in observing that upscale, fashionable, incredibly trendy Macy's replaced Marshall Field's because the old Chicago emporium had always been a monument to bad taste and worse merchandise in a setting of pure squalor.

• it's a crime: you nailed it as to why the Chicago River flows backwards. From the time of Capone to Giancana to today, bodies from the endless rat-tat-tat of machine guns end up floating in the river. Better they should be sent downriver to make the misery of a Cardinals WS loss even worse for the people of St. Louis than by despoiling Lake Michigan.

• crime and culture: and on a related note, yes, it's true that the the violin cases of the violinists of the Chicago Symphony Orchestra never have carried a violin.

• legacy: As you've been told, Theo Epstein, the Cubs' new president, will bring a world's championship to Wrigley Field, thus destroying the aura and legacy of the lovable losers. The Cubs have built a virtual cottage industry by going two centuries without a world championship. It's one of the few "special" things left in Chicago....and it, too, is on the way.

• equal time: and our 2005 White Sox were so bad they couldn't even throw the World Series. I guess that makes them the Blacker-than-Black-Sox.

• and finally: yep. we are hades personified. the burning pit of the underworld. No one can escape the fact that we're on el of a town.

So that's it, folks. You are right. All you've thought and asked about this city is totally, completely, and irrevoacably true.

now, knowing that, can we finally put some closure on the issue and go on with our lives?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-27-2011, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Volker, Kansas City, MO
12,062 posts, read 17,842,434 times
Reputation: 3597
Love it!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2011, 10:24 AM
 
Location: River North, Chicago, Illinois
3,026 posts, read 2,687,372 times
Reputation: 2836
You forgot that the reason the population is in decline is half explained by roving drug gangs and half explained by da mayor's roving assassins. Without those, our population would actually be growing at a 20% annual clip due to the influx of a mix of drug lords and illegal immigrants.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2011, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Elgin, IL
1,711 posts, read 1,719,614 times
Reputation: 1072
Love it, but I can't believe you didn't mention the ZOMBIES!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2011, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Chicago
2,932 posts, read 2,671,085 times
Reputation: 2135
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex?Il? View Post
I think edsg25 is semi-retired.

And it was kinda funny to top.
well, close. i'm more like semi-conscious. and, of course: thanks
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2011, 06:08 PM
 
4,386 posts, read 9,574,349 times
Reputation: 3578
K, now go move to a trailor in Florida with the rest of the grabby old farts.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-27-2011, 07:01 PM
 
208 posts, read 105,849 times
Reputation: 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by edsg25 View Post
life is tough when it finally dawns on us: we'll never be Dubai.
I have to admit Dubai's super talls are damn unique. I wouldn't mind if Chicago tried emulating some even though they'll stick out like a sore thumb against the current skyline.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2011, 03:52 AM
 
1,368 posts, read 870,604 times
Reputation: 1218
I thought the OP was hilarious. Chicago is one of the world's great boomtowns. Anyone who thinks it's declining should go back to 1971 (when I came here) and take a walk on State Street from Madison to 23rd Street, then through the West Loop, and finally through the western edge of the North Side through the Cabrini Green projects. All of those "no go" areas are now safe, clean, and expensive.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2011, 11:29 AM
 
Location: St. Augustine
9,258 posts, read 10,866,236 times
Reputation: 7364
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Siegel View Post
Anyone who thinks it's declining should go back to 1971 (when I came here) and take a walk

Through the East Side, South Chicago, South Deering, Marquette Park, Gage Park, Roseland, Austin, Humboldt Park, Rogers Park, Back of the Yards, Englewood, Woodlawn and Galewood and see how things have declined since.

Some parts of the city have improved, no doubt. But large areas have gotten worse and population has declined as well. Not healthy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-30-2011, 12:15 PM
 
4,779 posts, read 5,178,987 times
Reputation: 2949
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Siegel View Post
I thought the OP was hilarious. Chicago is one of the world's great boomtowns. Anyone who thinks it's declining should go back to 1971 (when I came here) and take a walk on State Street from Madison to 23rd Street, then through the West Loop, and finally through the western edge of the North Side through the Cabrini Green projects. All of those "no go" areas are now safe, clean, and expensive.
Greater downtown Chicago (think 312 area code and some immediate adjacent areas of 773) you could describe as being a boomtown. Although honestly I would say its one of the worlds greatest boomtowns, since there have been many cities that have grown tremendously in 40 years all over the country and world.

In fact, the reality is that those are the first impressions that tourists and transplants get. And if you make 312 world class, they can overlook and justify the conditions of over half of 773.

There has always been an uber-practical vibe among the movers and shakers of Chicago. And the father and son of the Daley dynasty anticipated the reality that if you redirect resources to make the core of the city appealing to tourists and transplants you can "save" the city" at the expense of large areas of working class industrial neighborhoods (with the exception of white ethnic strongholds that work for the city government that helped to make 312 world class).

In most cities all across the country, the downtown and immediate surrounding areas have been improving, even in this recession. While further out working class neighborhoods and many near suburbs have experienced a drop in desirability.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Options
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2011 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $79,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Illinois > Chicago

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top