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Unread 12-29-2011, 11:01 AM
 
Location: North Jackson
1,197 posts, read 991,073 times
Reputation: 1400
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
Don't have any photos of me loaded on my computer but this is similar to what I look like in skin tone, body type and style.


Would she be passed up by educated black men too out there?
If you look anything like that pic in real life, you will have NO PROBLEMS with meeting Black men in Chicago. Or white men, for that matter...

But regardless of your previous situation, when you get to Chicago, do the following things to increase your chances:
1. Whenever you leave the house, dress and groom as if you might meet someone that day. Please don't go out in a head scarf and sweatshirt, and wonder why no one talks to you...
2. Smile. Do not walk around with a "mean mug," as that will turn off everyone from trying to talk with you. Then you will say "No one ever talks to me..."
3. Be friendly. Even to the guys that aren't attractive to you. After all, they have friends who might be more to your liking. That doesn't mean be a tease, btw!

May I ask how old you are? What city you're leaving from?

 
Unread 12-29-2011, 11:19 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
14,528 posts, read 7,118,029 times
Reputation: 5015
Quote:
Originally Posted by Indentured Servant View Post
Unfortunately we are living in an era in which turnover is popular. Our consumer culture programs us to constantly seek that which is new and to constantly seek to upgrade that which we have. That is what keeps the economy going. Unfortunately that mentality has grown in the sphere of relationships as well. Just like products, once the newness is gone and we start having some problems or we see a better product, we simply scrap what we have and get the latest thing. I call it the chewing gum syndrome. We only chew the gum to get the burst of sugar or sweetness, and when the sweetness is gone, you throw the gum away.
I think this is true about most things in general. However, I think that women are biologically programmed to sit in long-term relationships much longer than men.
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 11:53 AM
 
Location: South Side
3,490 posts, read 5,985,441 times
Reputation: 1135
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
Do they overlook brown/darkskin Black women in Chicago?
Well, a prominent Chicago black lawyer at a big firm who could have had (or dated) any type of woman certainly chose a dark-skinned one in Michelle Robinson Obama.

I have to say that many black women presume that a professional black man will be married to a light-skinned woman, if he is married to a black woman at all. That's just not the case. Believe me, I can tell you that I have surprised people with the family pictures in my office.

Dark-skinned women do just fine dating in Chicago.
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 02:22 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 1,794,569 times
Reputation: 1849
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacksonPanther View Post
If you look anything like that pic in real life, you will have NO PROBLEMS with meeting Black men in Chicago. Or white men, for that matter...

But regardless of your previous situation, when you get to Chicago, do the following things to increase your chances:
1. Whenever you leave the house, dress and groom as if you might meet someone that day. Please don't go out in a head scarf and sweatshirt, and wonder why no one talks to you...
2. Smile. Do not walk around with a "mean mug," as that will turn off everyone from trying to talk with you. Then you will say "No one ever talks to me..."
3. Be friendly. Even to the guys that aren't attractive to you. After all, they have friends who might be more to your liking. That doesn't mean be a tease, btw!

May I ask how old you are? What city you're leaving from?
I am 22 years old and I currently live in Southfield, MI. Also lived in Toledo, Ohio, which was dead as ever.

Ive had some white guys look at me but never approach so I just ruled out interracial dating. If a man really is interested he will go after you no matter what and that is not the case with other races of men. There isn't too much interracial dating between BW/WM here.

I wanted to move somewhere else to see if the dating scene was better--Chicago seemed like a nice place because of the large African American population that lives there.
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 1,794,569 times
Reputation: 1849
Quote:
Originally Posted by BajanYankee View Post
That certainly makes a difference. Though your shorter sisters are often even more demanding than taller women when it comes to height.



True, women are less discriminatory when it comes to looks. But looks is just one criterion on which men are judged. Just because a woman does not place great value on looks does not mean that she doesn't place value on other attributes that are far more rare. Wealth is rare. Charisma is rare. High social status is rare. Height is rare. Women tend to be far more focused on the exceptional than men. A woman may not be picky when it comes to a guys looks, but she will picky when it comes to other things.



My point was that there are not enough attractive women in the world for the average man to be picky about skin tone. Likewise, there are not enough overall attractive men in the world for the average woman to be picky about height. It would be like refusing to drive a BMW because it doesn't have the rims you want, but yet the car you currently drive is a Ford. Overall, I think men with a preference for lighter women will forget all about that preference in the presence of a very attractive dark-skinned women. I also think that most women will forget about their preference for height if a man comes along who possesses a sufficient number of attractive qualities (swag, credentials, etc.). I do think, however, that women (as the more reproductively valuable sex) tend to be pickier than men.



There's nothing racist about what I said. There are not many attractive women (or people) in the world period. If you're talking about black women, there are obviously going to be even fewer because we're talking about a subset of the general female population. There are very few guys who will pass on Megan Good because she happens to be "too dark." A beauty like Megan Good is rare, so the average guy is not going to pass her up and hold out for a Paula Patton lookalike.

Ultimately, if you're a black woman and men aren't taking much of an interest in you, it probably has more to do with your overall attractiveness than your skin tone. I hear women say stuff like this all the time: "Black men just want light-skinned women!" And then when I point out 12 or 13 dark-skinned girls (who are fine) who have good men, they give another litany of excuses.
Okay, I get your point now. Sorry for responding the way I did
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 02:27 PM
 
1,661 posts, read 1,501,033 times
Reputation: 913
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
You jumped to conclusions without realizing I am tall myself and being with a guy who is short would not be a good match for me.

Most women tend to be less discriminatory in terms of looks--a man can be fat, bald and ugly but as long as he has money with a nice car he can have any beautiful woman he wants. yet if a woman is ugly, no amount of money will make her more attractive to men.

The comparison of height vs skin tone is not a really a fair comparison--it's not educated black women who are dating out because most black men are 'too short'--it's educated black men who are dating out for more fair and whiter looking women.




that is so racist
"Most women tend to be less discriminatory in terms of looks--a man can be fat, bald and ugly but as long as he has money with a nice car he can have any beautiful woman he wants."

So, are you saying most women are gold diggers? What good is a fat, ugly guy with a nice car? Not quite sure I understand your logic. Are you saying just because this unattractive slug can buy some nice things or go to nice dinners then he's a good catch?
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 02:46 PM
 
117 posts, read 22,137 times
Reputation: 40
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
I am 22 years old and I currently live in Southfield, MI. Also lived in Toledo, Ohio, which was dead as ever.

Ive had some white guys look at me but never approach so I just ruled out interracial dating. If a man really is interested he will go after you no matter what and that is not the case with other races of men. There isn't too much interracial dating between BW/WM here.

I wanted to move somewhere else to see if the dating scene was better--Chicago seemed like a nice place because of the large African American population that lives there.
Gold Coast --but don't be surprised if you are approached by more men of European descent, only because there are more of them

South Loop--maybe good for you

Hyde Park--You may like it you may not...not far from downtown

FYI--As I am sure you are aware....the sharpness of your confidence and diction will have a lot to do with what type of men you will attract
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 02:47 PM
 
Location: chicago
773 posts, read 1,235,989 times
Reputation: 485
Quote:
Originally Posted by JacksonPanther View Post
If you look anything like that pic in real life, you will have NO PROBLEMS with meeting Black men in Chicago. Or white men, for that matter...

But regardless of your previous situation, when you get to Chicago, do the following things to increase your chances:
1. Whenever you leave the house, dress and groom as if you might meet someone that day. Please don't go out in a head scarf and sweatshirt, and wonder why no one talks to you...
2. Smile. Do not walk around with a "mean mug," as that will turn off everyone from trying to talk with you. Then you will say "No one ever talks to me..."
3. Be friendly. Even to the guys that aren't attractive to you. After all, they have friends who might be more to your liking. That doesn't mean be a tease, btw!

May I ask how old you are? What city you're leaving from?
I'd like to add bogus weaves and pajama pants to number 1.

I disagree with 2 and 3. Well, not really disagree but I'll just say to use good judgement with who you smile at and are friendly to or else you will have some fool following you for blocks because he took your simple "hello" as an invitation for more. Then when you turn him down, the street harassment ensues (yes, even from the "educated" self proclaimed nice guys too).

Good grief, no we are not overlooked lol. If you look good, you look good. Op, you need to work on your self esteem before trying to date anybody. You are going to drive that (potential) man and yourself insane with your insecurity. Good luck!
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 03:21 PM
 
Location: Midwest
2,975 posts, read 1,794,569 times
Reputation: 1849
Quote:
Originally Posted by lenniel View Post
"Most women tend to be less discriminatory in terms of looks--a man can be fat, bald and ugly but as long as he has money with a nice car he can have any beautiful woman he wants."

So, are you saying most women are gold diggers? What good is a fat, ugly guy with a nice car? Not quite sure I understand your logic. Are you saying just because this unattractive slug can buy some nice things or go to nice dinners then he's a good catch?
Being wealthy has always been a good asset for a man to have. I wouldn't call that being a 'golddigger'. However, it's no different than men who chase after very attractive women with no substance just because they want a trophy wife
 
Unread 12-29-2011, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn, New York
14,528 posts, read 7,118,029 times
Reputation: 5015
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
Being wealthy has always been a good asset for a man to have. I wouldn't call that being a 'golddigger'. However, it's no different than men who chase after very attractive women with no substance just because they want a trophy wife
Men don't chase after attractive women because we want a "trophy wife." Any ego boost we may receive from having a hot chick on our arm pales in comparison to the thermonuclear blast of lust that the sight of a beautiful woman sends to our brain's reward centers. Most guys could have Paula Patton locked away in their basement with no one knowing about it and be perfectly o-kaay with that situation.

Where's the non-disclosure agreement (the breach of which is subject to the penalty of death)? Paula Patton locked away in my basement for me and only me? Sign me up!

http://hardcorenerdity.com/files/2011/12/beautiful_paula_patton.jpg (broken link)

http://hardcorenerdity.com/files/2011/12/beautiful_paula_patton.jpg (broken link)
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