Is it dumb to move if your life is good where you are? (Chicago: hardwood floors, real estate)

[Ashplowe]

Hi y'all,

I have lived in DC for 5 years. I love my apartment and the neighborhood that I live in and it took me three years to find the best spot for me in town. I have a good, secure job at a well respected organization and get to do work I like, I have a great relationship with my boss.

I am considering moving to Chicago (with a job offer). My brother lives there and when I visited him, I fell in love with the city and my gut told me that it was where I belonged. What I have now is good but I know that I don't want to build my roots in DC. There are things that I don't like about it (the career obsessed, Ann Taylor wearing crowd, high cost of living and the transient nature of the place. I feel like I'm settling and just going through the motions here now.

I am drawn to Chicago because of the down-to-earth vibe of the people, the lower cost of living, and the grander scale of the city (also, the lakes!). Although I think I will miss the beauty of DC compared to the brown-ness of Chicago. I will also add that DC has the highest proportion of women to men in the entire 50 states, so I'm hoping to move somewhere where the odds of meeting a romantic partner are a little more in my favor.

Most of my good friends have moved away at this point and it's either make all new friends here or in Chicago. I am at times incredibly excited about living in Chicago and getting to explore a new place all over again, but then I am overwhelmed with anxiety about leaving what I have here for an unknown new reality and having to establish myself all over again.

So I ask you, would you leave something good for something new and potentially amazing even though there's no guarantee that you'll like it better?

[Vlajos]

"What I have now is good but I know that I don't want to build my roots in DC."

I think this may answer your question. If you don't really want to have DC as your permanent place, you may as well move on. It gets harder and harder.

[chrawnick]

Originally Posted by Vlajos

"What I have now is good but I know that I don't want to build my roots in DC."

I think this may answer your question. If you don't really want to have DC as your permanent place, you may as well move on. It gets harder and harder.

Right. Might as well build your roots in Chicago.

[chet everett]

I know several people that have the kind of job that they could do in / around Chicago vs DC and without exception the concensus is that since very few people are "from DC" the sorts of things that often involve extended family (holidays, raising kids, celebrating milestones) are not as enjoyable out there BUT they also have said that the level of responsibility that one is often given in DC area offices is often FAR greater than it would be in Chicago EVEN IF the firm they work for technically is HQ'd in / around Chicago.

Further the variously messed up nature of the housing and commuting options in the DC area tend to mean that people endure worse commutes AND crummier living condition out there...

Frankly if you have a great job / boss, a good apartment / commute but miserable social life / feel unconnected it might makes sense to relocate BUT realize that a) our cost of living is NOT all that much lower for nicer spots b) employment prospects (both quality and quanity) are not as good for most generic office careers c) while numbers of males / females is probably more balanced the overall trade-off in employment does not mean there are necessarily more of the kind of potential partners you might find intersting...


In many ways the "checklist mindset" that accompanies not just decisions about "the perfect house" but also "having the life I want" is not as realistic as finding a way to be content with the trade-offs that are inevitable with all decisions.

[Link N. Parker]

Originally Posted by Ashplowe

Hi y'all,

I have lived in DC for 5 years. I love my apartment and the neighborhood that I live in and it took me three years to find the best spot for me in town. I have a good, secure job at a well respected organization and get to do work I like, I have a great relationship with my boss.

I am considering moving to Chicago (with a job offer). My brother lives there and when I visited him, I fell in love with the city and my gut told me that it was where I belonged. What I have now is good but I know that I don't want to build my roots in DC. There are things that I don't like about it (the career obsessed, Ann Taylor wearing crowd, high cost of living and the transient nature of the place. I feel like I'm settling and just going through the motions here now.

I am drawn to Chicago because of the down-to-earth vibe of the people, the lower cost of living, and the grander scale of the city (also, the lakes!). Although I think I will miss the beauty of DC compared to the brown-ness of Chicago. I will also add that DC has the highest proportion of women to men in the entire 50 states, so I'm hoping to move somewhere where the odds of meeting a romantic partner are a little more in my favor.

Most of my good friends have moved away at this point and it's either make all new friends here or in Chicago. I am at times incredibly excited about living in Chicago and getting to explore a new place all over again, but then I am overwhelmed with anxiety about leaving what I have here for an unknown new reality and having to establish myself all over again.

So I ask you, would you leave something good for something new and potentially amazing even though there's no guarantee that you'll like it better?

Hi Ash,

The comments bolded above stuck out to me.

First - it can be very hard to find decent apartments in Chicago. Most apartments here are either:
a. Old 100-year old vintage with serious maintenance issues, or lacking basic amenities like washer dryer or dishwasher, or do not have a parking spot available for a car
b. Newer (wth granite, stainless steel, fireplace, hardwood floors etc) and have all of the amenities but will cost you $2000+ a month to rent
c. Have bedbug issues (yes I am serious)
d. are condos that are For Rent, but the owner is in forclosure and the bank will not let you sign a new lease when the current lease is up, meaning that you will have to find another place to live and go thru the whole rental location process all over again, pack your stuff again, etc

For the second bolded comment about what your gut is telling you - you should follow that gut instinct. On one hand, Chicago has a lot of problems, but at the same time, we need great people to keep moving here to help keep this city strong.

The third item - the people. There are A LOT of great people here, but at the same time, a large number of people here are the same Ann Taylor career-oriented crowd. Many of the women here seem very reluctant to settle down, and opt for raising a herd of cats, rather than get married (aka being trapped, as they say). Those who do get married, often find themselves living in the burbs in a few years (and Chicago's burbs are not very interesting at all, or are repressive and tacky). But since you are looking for a guy, yes, I do think that a lot of the guys here are looking for a wife, as opposed to being staying single. This does work in your favor. I honestly dont think a lot of people here are very down to earth though. Friendly? Yes. Down to earth? Not so sure that is the way to describe people here though.

Then you mention the transient nature of DC...Chicago is VERY transient. If you go to most areas on the North Side, a large percentage of these people (I would guess 80%) are NOT from Chicago. Most of them are from places like Ohio and Michigan. There are also a large number of legal immigrants too. Most people I know that "grew up in Chicago" hate the city and now live in the burbs.

[LakeShoreSoxGo]

To answer your question: Yes

I got friends who still try to convince me they are living the life in their rat hole studios in LA. They get to skate every day with the good weather, but they are broke.

[ChicagoMeO]

You can try this - put your stuff in storage in DC and then come out for a year to Chicago and see how you like it.

I'm all for moving and starting a new page in your life, it can be energizing. I've been to DC for a small trip, our CTA trains/bus system is set up like yours is, and to me DC is a city that resembles Chicago so if you feel comfortable there, you can feel comfortable here. There are neighborhoods with various flavors, just like yours, like your Dupont Circle is just like our Boystown except we don't have the palatial Indonesian embassy like you have But we do have some exquisite buildings too. You have Potbelly Restaurant, we do too, AND same prices

Some of your buildings are different, of course, being east coast, i.e. Georgetown ,, we might have something that resembles that area here, in pockets,,

I do not agree that you have to pay $2,000 a month like the above poster said for a decent apartment with washer & dryer. I know a lot of nice neighborhoods where you can find an excellent apartment with parking and washer dryer and a nice area for between $1,000 and $1,600.

Look at the website like Trulia or some other real estate website and put in your destination and you will see a bunch of choices. One bad thing - some apartments look pretty but they might be in a bad neighborhood though they do look pretty inside!

If I were to pick an area of Chicagoland closest to DC, I'd say maybe Oak Park, IL has a nice atmosphere and have reasonable prices. Check it out if you wish.

[andrew61]

Originally Posted by Ashplowe

So I ask you, would you leave something good for something new and potentially amazing even though there's no guarantee that you'll like it better?

I say Go for it. If Chicago doesn't turn out to be everything you had hoped for, it's not like you're stuck here for life.

I left my hometown for Chicago almost 18 years ago, and although making the move was scary at the time, I've never regretted it.

[marothisu]

I'd say...do what your gut/heart is telling you to do, but also think with your head. I think it's a tough decision anywhere you go. It really depends on what kind of person you are and how you take risks.


The fact that a lot of your friends have moved away is big. I guess I am the type of person who would take the move only if the job I was offered was going to be secure for awhile. I moved here without really knowing anyone. Not going to lie, it was lonely-ish sometimes for a little while. I had work friends but didn't 100% mesh with them. After awhile I stopped partying with them on the weekends. Yeah, I eventually found me some friends and what not, but it was lonely sometimes for my first 8-12 months here. I made that decision though. I could have easily continued hanging out with my work friends, going and drinking 3 times a week with them, but I made a decision not to.

The thing you have is your brother lives here. If you guys have a good relationship, then you can meet friends through him probably. Either way, it sounds like you'll have to meet new people no matter where you end up.

In the end, personally, I'd weigh how much you like your current job and the security of it versus one you might get out here. Plus what your "gut" is telling you to do..

[Flamedown]

I am in a similar position to you. I have been thinking about moving to Chicago for over a year now, and have done extensive research on the city. The city highly appeals to me, but the things keeping me back from making the final decision to go have been its winters and the uncertainity of the job market, along with being used to living with my family my whole life. My life in Southern California is quite good, but I just feel like something is missing. I just graduated college, and I have nothing to hold me back from moving elsewhere. If I am going to try living elsewhere, now is the time to do it! I just have to make up my mind if I am going to take the plunge and try Chicago.