Chicago for an Asian-American male? (Naperville, Peoria: tech jobs, construction, high school)

[marothisu]

I think you have a really bad draw. I mean not saying anything with this, but I've actually talked with some of my black friends who have lived in Chicago for over 15 years and they said they've each been called the n word maybe once or twice in their 15+ years here.

How many times have you been called that? Such a bad thing, but I have to say based on this and other things you've said, perhaps you have been in the wrong place at the wrong time a handful of times.

[Irishtom29]

You know, in Chicago men often lampoon one another's ethnicity in a rather rough and ready way and being lampooned so is often a sign of acceptance, even affection.

[oakparkdude]

Originally Posted by HBS2015

A good college friend is a very well-educated Asian-American professional living in NYC. He recently got a job offer in Chicago that he can't turn down and will be moving to the city in July. He is deeply concerned with Chicago's segregation and the provincial Midwestern mindset that permeates the city. He's worried that he will be discriminated against and won't be accepted into mainstream social circles. And dating wise, he has mostly dated white women in NYC (especially blondes), and he's concerned because white women in Chicago are generally not into Asian guys (or non-whites for that matter).

How legitimate are his concerns? Any advice for him?

FWIW, I'm an Northeastern-educated Asian-American who moved here for a job I could not refuse. While I don't deny the segregation and pockets of discrimination (don't have a clue what a "provincial Midwestern mindset" is), in my social and professional circles I don't encounter it at all.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Irishtom29

You know, in Chicago men often lampoon one another's ethnicity in a rather rough and ready way and being lampooned so is often a sign of acceptance, even affection.

I'm glad you mentioned that. I know of two drinking buddies one was Irish American and the other was Mexican American. The Irish American was from Chicago the Mexican American was from Mexico.

To make a long story short the Irish American had the opportunity to visit with the Mexicans family and heard a racial slur being shared in a fun way and he decided to use the same thing in the same context you shared. Low and behold there was a physical altercation between the two that should have never been because the Irish American from Chicago didn't know that those words where off limits. Two days later there was a heartfelt apology made and the Irish American said that he would never ever ever disrespect any ones race or culture again using a racial slur.

My thing is I never name call anyone. I don't play with peoples sexuality or race or anything that is personal.I don't expect to get played with.

[Lookout Kid]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

My thing is I never name call anyone. I don't play with peoples sexuality or race or anything that is personal.I don't expect to get played with.

Sounds reasonable to me. I practice the same policy.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by marothisu

I think you have a really bad draw. I mean not saying anything with this, but I've actually talked with some of my black friends who have lived in Chicago for over 15 years and they said they've each been called the n word maybe once or twice in their 15+ years here.

How many times have you been called that? Such a bad thing, but I have to say based on this and other things you've said, perhaps you have been in the wrong place at the wrong time a handful of times.

It's a combination of personal experience and actual problems that I've pointed out with the way the city plays with money segregation and the Black community. I have the right to live in any neighborhood walk down any street in this great nation without anyone saying anything about it. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time our saying my experience is isolated isn't right. If the disparity in unemployment rates didn't exist and Chicago wasn't in the top 5 most segregated cities I don't thing we would be having this conversation.

[MassVt]

Originally Posted by oakparkdude

FWIW, I'm an Northeastern-educated Asian-American who moved here for a job I could not refuse. While I don't deny the segregation and pockets of discrimination (don't have a clue what a "provincial Midwestern mindset" is), in my social and professional circles I don't encounter it at all.

You can find "provincialism" anywhere; the Northeast certainly isn't immune from it--in fact, it might be even stronger here ( the whole "flyover state" mentality), etc...

[stephei2000]

Originally Posted by mjtinmemphis

It's a combination of personal experience and actual problems that I've pointed out with the way the city plays with money segregation and the Black community. I have the right to live in any neighborhood walk down any street in this great nation without anyone saying anything about it. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time our saying my experience is isolated isn't right. If the disparity in unemployment rates didn't exist and Chicago wasn't in the top 5 most segregated cities I don't thing we would be having this conversation.

mjtinmemphis, I agree with you at most points especially with income disparity but I have not received the personal discrimation that you bring up. I would be interested to to know what experiences you have had. You can PM me. I frequently Lakeview west and east and still do not experience this. East Lakeview is actually is actually my favorite neighborhood in the city.

Maybe because I am from the midwest and went to a Big Ten school so this crowd is the most comfortable for me in Chicago, but dating is socially is hard. I think once in 5 years, I have a had a guy talk to me while hanging out in Lakeview.
So I see where you are coming from.

I think the OP would go great in a South or West Loop neighborhood.

[ptug101]

Originally Posted by jdiddy

I have some family in the south and one of the first things we notice when down there is how easy and open the racism is. Maybe its because I'm white so they assume I'll agree, until I remind them I'm from Chicago and then they remember I'm a communist/socialist/etc.

I don't think Chicago is a melting pot utopia by any stretch, but I have a hard time believing a black guy has a harder go of it in Lakeview than in the south.

actually its more complicated, then that in the south,because of lack of education
and geography. you run into more open racism or more politically incorrectnees, but at the same time
the white people who are not racist in the south are more comfortable with black people and more likely
to be friend them. Dallas has the highest rate of interracial marriage after Minneapolis and San Diego.
I think its because people in the south had to learn to live with each other,because of forced integration.
so I can see how a black dude might feel more comfortable in Houston than Chicago.

Chicago people are more educated and thus political correct,but are more culturally bias.
The chances of you getting called the N-word or dealing with direct racism is more rare.
but white people who are not overtly racist still will be aprehensive to socialize with blacks.
I think when middle class blacks complain about Chicago, they are complaining about the cold shoulder
feeling in some of the hotspots of the city mainly LP/LV.

I think blacks also suffer from classim as in alot whites cant tell the difference,between middle class
blacks and the poor ones. In the south there is not as much classim,because there are more low income whites,so people who are not racist are more likely to juudge people on character,because they see poor white people and black people

[ptug101]

back on subject a far as the OP goes.
My co worker is Japanese and he has lived in California,Chicago and NY. here was his opinion.
when it came to hanging out with academics for the most part he was accepted on the friend level
by the foodies hipster, anime nerd crowd in all cities, though he did say that among the nerd white female4
population he did not have as many dating options.

It was among the non nerd mainstream MTV(laguna beach) type white people crowd
were he notice a major difference in the cities in LA he was be friended pretty easily by people
and dated woman in the top 30% quintile on levels of attractiveness(his words he is a math geek)
in New York he had to do a little more networking to get in with this crowd kind of like getting reference
and the girls he dated were more in the top 40%,but for the most part he had an ok time.
In chicago he said among this crowd it felt very cold,he had a hard time meeting people getting invited
parties and could not get girls of this crowd even date him.(this crowd mostly live in LV/LP and there are remnant of it in River North) so if he wants an experience close to New York he could avoid those areas,though I tink his dating options
will decline relative to NY and LA for the reasons listed above and the fact that interracial dating is less prevalent in Chicago than LA and NY.

I have had other Asian guys tell me this as well,but they were all from the westcoast