How to make friends in Chicago? (roach, woman, outside)

[reppin_the_847]

True, but it's certainly more transplant than Milwaukee or Indianapolis lol.

Originally Posted by ptug101

Chicago is a little tuffer to make friends because its not as much of a transplant city like NY.
along with the join a class or team suggesting. I would try moving into a house with people your own age.
I would also try and find a job that has alot of people your own age.

[Rocket1]

Originally Posted by envieng

How do people make friends in Chicago?
I've been living in Lakeview for 9 months now, and haven't made a single friend. I'm 24, and noone at work is in my age group, so that's a dead-end. I chat with people at the gym while I workout, but I've ever had anyone ask if I want to do something outside the gym. I'm thinking about volunteering at PAWS. I want to help out some fuzzy friends, but would be nice to make human friends too. Is this a good route?
The meetup.com, reddit meetup, online meeting type thing seems strange to me. How the heck did people make friends 20 years ago?

I'd certainly recommend you go ahead and try volunteering at PAWS. I know several people who volunteer there, and they all enjoy it. Most of the volunteers at PAWS tend to be women. Some your age, but mostly older.

Since you like animals, you might want to get a dog if you don't have one already. Having a friendly dog can help out a lot in making friends and acquaintances in your neighborhood.

[envieng]

Originally Posted by Rocket1

I'd certainly recommend you go ahead and try volunteering at PAWS. I know several people who volunteer there, and they all enjoy it. Most of the volunteers at PAWS tend to be women. Some your age, but mostly older.

Since you like animals, you might want to get a dog if you don't have one already. Having a friendly dog can help out a lot in making friends and acquaintances in your neighborhood.

I will consider volunteering and the sports leagues.

To those who asked about drinking, I rarely drink, and if I do, I'll have maybe one drink. Alcohol makes me feel sick most times (some combo of nausea, gurgling stomach, burning throat), so it's really not much fun for me if I have more than one.

I would really like to get a pet, but my apartment doesn't allow them :-/. I also travel for work occasionally for 2 days to a week, and I don't know what I would do with my buddy.

I will also consider the roommate idea. My lease goes until October, so this isn't really something I can implement yet.

[Michael Scott]

Originally Posted by envieng

I also travel for work occasionally for 2 days to a week, and I don't know what I would do with my buddy.

Cats are fine left alone for a little while.

[TBideon]

Join a yoga studio, get to know the regulars
go to a neighborhood bar where there are people your age. Go regularly.
Get active with Chicagocares.com, do stuff consistently
Look at Chicago Repubs, Dems, Young Professional, etc groups
Take acting or improv classes
Go to Updown Cigar, Hubbard cigar, or Blue Havana for cigars/hanging out with people. Cigar lounges (though they're small) are pretty good for making friends

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by reppin_the_847

True, but it's certainly more transplant than Milwaukee or Indianapolis lol.

I Don't know about Milwaukee but I though Indianapolis was a transplant city.

To agree with what has been said Charlotte was so easy for me to connect with. It's a smaller city but everyone is from somewhere else. Chicago was easy for me to connect with because of other transplants. It is not as transient as NYC, LA or a Charlotte type but transplants are not hard to find. OP needs to experience a different neighborhoods IMO.

[emathias]

Originally Posted by Michael Scott

Cats are fine left alone for a little while.

I leave mine alone for up to 5 days at a time. Granted, I wouldn't leave her alone for 5 days every week, but I'd leave her alone for 2 days every week with no guilt.

[Fieldriver]

I think there have been some really supportive and kind posts in response to the plea. I have some thoughts I'll share: I have done a fair amount of travel for work, and I do think that big cities in general are just unfriendly places. I am quite talkative and friendly, and I probably frighten people sometimes (!). I have always lived in the Chicago area and I have always had difficulty keeping friends. I think there is a surface wish to be close to someone and have someone be close to me but when it is about to happen, I manage to pull back. And then I go and complain about being lonely

So, it is entirely possible that we sabotage our own happiness, but the solution can be told to us all day long. The decision to act has to be ours and it will be when we are ready. The self-loathing or the disappointment or the bitterness - well, it's gotta just get shelved for minutes at a time, because you know, OP, that you would not be drawn to someone wearing all those emotions just as others will not be drawn to us in that state.

And, I also think that it's similar to romantic relationships: you almost got to play "hard to get". Being too available and needy (I am sooo good at that) is simply not pretty. We tend to admire people who "have lives", so it's healthy and important to be engrossed in our own pursuits.

I don't think we are the nicest people in the US; we certainly don't compare favorably to Texans or other Southerners. Hang in there OP, hang in there.

[marothisu]

Originally Posted by envieng

To those who asked about drinking, I rarely drink, and if I do, I'll have maybe one drink. Alcohol makes me feel sick most times (some combo of nausea, gurgling stomach, burning throat), so it's really not much fun for me if I have more than one.

One of my best friends here was an alcoholic (well, basically..) and he quit completely almost two years ago. The guy, although he says he doesn't like being around other people in a social setting, is very funny - you'd never know. He still manages to meet friends because he volunteers a bit and goes to some "things" that align with his interests.

I was talking to him about it, and he told me he's actually MORE social now that he quit drinking and has made even more friends FWIW (his attitudes haven't changed about life - just that he's not drinking alcohol and he is wrecking his body with it anymore). He will meet up at a bar too for a little bit, but he won't drink.

People won't look at you weirdly for not drinking and if they do, then that's their problem. As much as people want to say it, there's many other ways to meet people and IMO the best way is to align yourself with a group that has similar interests as you. By far the best way to meet people who you may actually want to be true friends with. I would put that much ahead of the sports team stuff and even volunteering. If you are big time into....philosophy, then join a Philosophy meetup group that meets once a month or something and has intelligent conversation as a group. You will meet many like minded people.

[nj21]

Originally Posted by ptug101

Chicago is a little tuffer to make friends because its not as much of a transplant city like NY.
along with the join a class or team suggesting. I would try moving into a house with people your own age.
I would also try and find a job that has alot of people your own age.

I disagree. I'm originally from NJ and it was extremely hard to make friends in both NYC and NJ!