Gay professional might move to Chicago from San Francisco...will I like it? (Industry: neighborhoods, school)
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I don't say this to say that Chicago isn't safe for gays, or accepting, but rather I think it's naive for some of the people on here to say that there's no way there could be a problem in Chicago.
I don't think anyone is saying problems can't happen in CHicago - that's not even the question, though.
The question is "Is Chicago more prone to problems than San Francisco or LA?"
And I think the answer is that it's not really. Any big city can have occasional issues, even San Francisco. The question isn't about the exceptions, it's about the rule.
I've never had a problem in Chicago and found it to be the most open and accepting place to the LGBT community in the Midwest, and I've lived in and visited the other more "liberal" places in the Midwest that have oddly been mentioned in this conversation. (For what its worth, I've also never gotten a PNW vibe from Minneapolis. At all. Visited dozens of times (my partner's family lives outside of St. Paul) and been all up and down the PNW, and I don't see the similarity.) The only time in Chicago it has ever been an issue was dealing with people *not* from around here, and that was only once in my life. It's something you occasionally have to deal with, though, since Chicago is the most-visited city in the Midwest, and you get people from every walk of life and virtually every state and city, rural and urban, especially the more touristy parts of the city. Chicago also has hands down the most vibrant scene for LGBTs in the Midwest, in my opinion, and an even more vibrant scene than several cities on the coast.
Chicago has always been one of my favorite cities. To me, it's got as much to offer as NYC on a much smaller scale. The restaurants and nightlife here are among the best. I love the art scene, and museums. Winters have never bothered me; I buy a down coat and get over it!
I find the gay community here to be very kind, and compared to San Francisco, very embracing. It's easy to strike up a conversation, find commonalities and cultivate new friendships.
I have some gay friends in the advertising business that have struggled and are now doing free-lance, and consulting work. It is a major industry here but can be cut-throat. I was just having a conversation with one associate two nights ago about his challenges with clients and such.
I moved away in 1997, always making regular and extended visits because of family & friends that remain. I returned to Chicago last fall and am now planning to leave when my lease ends. I don't get into the city-bashing so I'm not going to elaborate too much.
Be mindful of the high unemployment rate in Chicago, and choose the right neighborhood to live in. Just like any place, this city has its share of problems. You take the good with the bad, and match them to your priorities. Personally, I don't feel like I've returned to the Chicago that I once loved.
It seems that there are only threads for people LEAVING Chicago. I don't get why this is, but the city doesn't seem to attract people from the coasts, it only seems that people are fleeing which concerns me.
Here's the deal, I am 26 years old, have grown up the majority of my life in California, but have spent 7 years in Denmark and 2 in Rhode Island, so I know winters. I'm sick of people instantly telling me when I'm interested in Chicago that I'll "HATE THE WINTER ZOMG". It's like, people, half of the world deal with winters. Have some pride in your city and don't scare people off! It's not really a deciding factor for me.
What is a deciding factor is the quality of life, urban experience, how fun the city is, and COL.
I'm frankly tired of the Bay Area because it's gotten prohibitively expensive. I really want my own studio/apartment with my partner and I'm sick of having to have roommates and live in cramped conditions. It's also become impossible to save due to high rents. My 2 best friends have moved to Chicago from CA and love it, and I can't get over how cheap their rents are! My partner and I want to try something completely new and different, and expand our horizons a bit more. Chicago seems attractive to me because it's a major city that is traditionally urban, but doesn't have the hype/pretension as does NYC/SF/LA.
Here are my questions:
- How is city life different from SF? Is it exciting? Does it feel bustling, compact and lively the same way SF does? Does the city shut down in the winter or is it thriving?
- How gay friendly is the city overall? Will I be able to be myself freely without frequently running into douchebags and homophobes?
- How is the job market currently for someone looking into advertising/marketing?
- Do you think someone coming from CA will enjoy the lifestyle/people out there
- Does Chicago have that dynamic, worldly city feel that I crave?
- For those of you that are gay, how is the Boystown scene vs Castro/west Hollywood?
Thanks!
I have never been to CA and my feeling is that most of the people on here live in Jesus Camp areas (BTW, I am a gay man trapped in a straight woman's body, at least when I blog) so I wouldn't put much stock in their remarks. They seem rather conservative overall. It's not a bad thing, but it's also not necessarily going to yield the sort of info you're trying to glean.
Why not just take your friends' word for it? I mean, isn't that good enough?
In any case, Chicago is very down-to-earth and I think that is a good thing. I had a childhood friend who moved to somewhere close to SF and she said the people there were space cadets/flakes or something to that effect. I am sure that is a generalization but we are very grounded. East Coast types are aggressive and of course not everyone in Chicago is mellow but we are somewhere in between astral travel and road rage, LOL
Boystown should be right up your alley but you could also live in the 'burbs. Oak Park (my hometown, as well as that of Ernest Hemingway) is very liberal and gay-friendly and right on the El train line to Downtown.
The public transit is great, the rents are probably way better than either NYC or SF and Chicago is a world-class city. The museums, architecture, not to mention the food are all reasons to be proud to live here.
Funny aspect of the weather: I was reading a news story about some tourist from Sweden who came to visit during the winter and was shocked at how cold it was! Makes no sense to me how that is possible but there ya go!
Sort of feel like I'm taking a page from Marothisu's playbook, but I've known people from Chicago who visited Minneapolis and experienced some culture shock from seeing so many gays (it's at that point no one cares or notices). LGBT is simply more integrated there, while in Chicago they have Boystown and that's really it.
?? Have to totally disagree with that. Over half the gay people I know in the Chicago area avoid boystown because it's not their cup of tea. It might be the center of the gay community and especially nightlife, but there is way more out there than just Boystown.
?? Have to totally disagree with that. Over half the gay people I know in the Chicago area avoid boystown because it's not their cup of tea. It might be the center of the gay community and especially nightlife, but there is way more out there than just Boystown.
Well, it's pretty obvious that RonnieJonez hasn't lived in Chicago for probably a decade, and bases their opinion about Chicago on this and before, and it's painfully obvious if you read their other posts. Anybody who knows Chicago would never claim that the only "gay part of town" is Boystown without even mentioning Andersonville, or small pockets elsewhere, or a good amount of gays living in other areas that aren't necessarily gay business oriented such as parts of the Gold Coast. The funny thing is that most of my gay friends in Chicago don't live in/near Boystown, though a handful do. Most of my gay friends are in Gold Coast, River North, and Edgewater.
Obviously tons live in and around Boystown, but to say there aren't many others outside of that means you don't know this city very well.
Last edited by marothisu; 09-02-2013 at 07:57 PM..
It's gay friendly for those who are actually. If you're a straight guy into style (beyond Abercrombie in high school) you will be questioned as such, unless you're very built and extremely tough. There's a reason so many Chicago guys wear those boxy suits when they could afford a tailored suit. The midwest champions, promotes, and encourages that.
Minneapolis being the more culturally liberal city and seems quite a bit edgier than Chicago. For example (assuming you aren't a hipster), if you tuck your jeans into boots in Chicago people will still stare and assume you "belong in Boystown" (besides the drag queens obviously, even the gays tend to look conservative in Chicago and don't even dress well for being gay). That's the mentality, and it hasn't changed in the past 10 years or will ever change. Any town over 100k has a visible gay population and mentioning that some nearby neighborhoods have it as well besides Boystown (like that is impressive) is indicative of how the midwest still is. The midwest is a certain way and does not have any international flair or cosmopolitan appeal.
I've never had a problem in Chicago and found it to be the most open and accepting place to the LGBT community in the Midwest, and I've lived in and visited the other more "liberal" places in the Midwest that have oddly been mentioned in this conversation. (For what its worth, I've also never gotten a PNW vibe from Minneapolis. At all. Visited dozens of times (my partner's family lives outside of St. Paul) and been all up and down the PNW, and I don't see the similarity.) The only time in Chicago it has ever been an issue was dealing with people *not* from around here, and that was only once in my life. It's something you occasionally have to deal with, though, since Chicago is the most-visited city in the Midwest, and you get people from every walk of life and virtually every state and city, rural and urban, especially the more touristy parts of the city. Chicago also has hands down the most vibrant scene for LGBTs in the Midwest, in my opinion, and an even more vibrant scene than several cities on the coast.
Interesting. I think many could make the argument that Chicago is open, accepting, and progressive BECAUSE of the people that are not actually from Chicago. Small town Indiana may be less open and accepting, however, those young professionals that come from there are in Chicago because they love the energy, diversity, etc. and make the city just a tiny bit more open and accepting as opposed to the white ethnic natives of Chicago who are somewhat removed from what makes Chicago distinct from smaller, less hip cities.
It's gay friendly for those who are actually. If you're a straight guy into style (beyond Abercrombie in high school) you will be questioned as such, unless you're very built and extremely tough. There's a reason so many Chicago guys wear those boxy suits when they could afford a tailored suit. The midwest champions, promotes, and encourages that.
It's funny how many times I explain to you my personal experience in the city with being a fashionable person, being someone who wears fashion forward things as a straight male and yet I've NEVER been questioned here (except by a few gay guys who wanted me to be gay). It is painfully obvious your opinions are based years in the past. I'm not claiming, again, it's a fashion mecca. I see people with their pants tucked into their boots, something you use as your "basis." Yet I've seen it for a handful of years here, and many fashion stores have had window scenes of the same look.
I see a lot of different things and while it's not as rampant in other cities, it exists. I go to places with whatever I want on - it's a personal art form and statement for me, I don't give a **** what people think of it. In the end, I've walked into dive bars in working class areas of town where nobody looked at me weirdly. I wasn't wearing "freak clothing" to get obvious stares you would almost anywhere, but it wasn't typical, mediocre crap that a lot of Americans default to.
And no, I'm not jacked and huge. I'm well defined, but in a toned, proportional type of way. I have NEVER been questioned here (in a bad way - again only by a few gay guys), but I have been questioned before in Iowa, Minnesota, and Wisconsin numerous times in a bad way. Fashion houses continue to open up here, including the more fashion forward ones in Bucktown, Wicker Park, and Ukrainian Village.
Again, it's painfully obvious you're stuck in the past in some ways for Chicago, especially this one. Come on here and claim all the **** you want, but it's obvious to anyone who knows this city that you haven't experienced the city first hand for more than a few days in a very long time minus a visit here and there, and most likely only in a few touristy sections of town (after all you claimed you hardly like any areas of town in a post a few months ago) with a bunch of people from rural Indiana and Iowa.
Last edited by marothisu; 09-02-2013 at 11:04 PM..
Fashion is acceptable for women in Chicago, but as a male, the threshold is still very low for what is considered gay and/or possibly gay. It's still an across-the-board midwestern city, which probably makes sense given it's in the midwest. It constantly makes the fattest city list, Minneapolis is consistently among the fittest. That should show a difference right there.
You've mentioned being questioned in Iowa, but you also went to ISU which is a known conservative school. Had you gone to Iowa City, that wouldn't have been your experience nearly as much. (Now you're gonna say you know someone who said ISU is more liberal than UIowa).
I know you've used non-gentrified neighborhoods as some barometer of knowing the city, but those neighborhoods are usually even less open minded.
I've said before that there are a few neighborhoods that are obviously not like the majority, but the overriding culture is not like Wicker Park.
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) so I wouldn't put much stock in their remarks. They seem rather conservative overall. It's not a bad thing, but it's also not necessarily going to yield the sort of info you're trying to glean.
Makes no sense to me how that is possible but there ya go!
