Is it weird to move to Chicago if you don't have any friends there? (living, nightlife) - Illinois (IL) - City-Data Forum

AriannaB · 09-20-2013, 09:45 AM

I am in the interview process for a position located in downtown Chicago. I currently live in Dallas where I've lived all my life. So far in the process, anytime the relocation conversation comes up, everyone has asked me if I have friends in Chicago. I've lied and said yes because I really want this job and I don't want them to know that I actually don't know anyone there. I have visited Chicago before though and loved it.

I've never relocated anywhere and I want this to be my big move. But is it weird to move to a city where you don't have any friends living currently? I'm 28, single, professional, and I am generally an outgoing person, not really shy, and I would have no problem joining groups/organizations or attending events to meet people. But it seems like everyone assumes I should know people there to relocate. Should I?? Has anyone else relocated to a city where you don't know anyone and how did it go?

Irishtom29 · 09-20-2013, 09:47 AM

It's not weird.

marothisu · 09-20-2013, 09:48 AM

No, not at all. Tons of people do it, and you are talking to one of them right here. I've met many people who moved here while knowing nobody here.

My personal experience is that when I first moved here, I latched onto friends at work. I am one of those people who can easily make friends, but I am picky as to whom I keep as my close friends. I, on purpose, stopped hanging out every weekend with my work friends because I didn't want a lifestyle that was what they were into. So for awhile, I went it kind of alone - but I should note that I didn't even make an effort to join any social groups (i.e. Meetups). If you have no problem joining those for things you're interested in, then you shouldn't have a problem IMO. I have a close-knit group of friends here now, but I have met people just out and about. You'd be surprised even taking public transit (especially on a weekend) how many people you can meet if you're just outgoing.

emathias · 09-20-2013, 09:49 AM

If people only moved places where they already had friends, every human on earth would still live in the same patch of forest.

AriannaB · 09-20-2013, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emathias

If people only moved places where they already had friends, every human on earth would still live in the same patch of forest.

I just laughed out loud at this. Thanks. I needed that. It's just that I just finished yet another phone interview where they asked me the same question as though there is no possible way I could move there without a pre-established network of friends.

marothisu · 09-20-2013, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AriannaB

I just laughed out loud at this. Thanks. I needed that. It's just that I just finished yet another phone interview where they asked me the same question as though there is no possible way I could move there without a pre-established network of friends.

That seems like an odd question to ask. It might just be small talk in all honesty. I do interviews sometimes, and that is never a question me or anybody else I work with asks of anybody from out of the area. If we do, then it's just small talk to get to know the person better.

Chicago has the third highest GDP of any metro area in the US with basically the 2nd largest/most active financial scene, meaning a lot of business and many large corporations that exist in other cities/countries. While there are a lot of "townies" here, there are a lot of people who are not townies.

Also, I have heard these days that some people even use free online dating sites to meet new people when they first move. The meet-up group thing though should be a key since you said you were fine with it, especially if making friends with like minded people is important to you. If you are riding the train on a friday or saturday night too, for example, through some nightlife zones, then that can be easy too. Can't tell you how many people just start up a conversation with me riding the train at like 1am. Some of the busier trains can definitely just seem like a bar where people talk to one another freely.

AriannaB · 09-20-2013, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marothisu

No, not at all. Tons of people do it, and you are talking to one of them right here. I've met many people who moved here while knowing nobody here.

My personal experience is that when I first moved here, I latched onto friends at work. I am one of those people who can easily make friends, but I am picky as to whom I keep as my close friends. I, on purpose, stopped hanging out every weekend with my work friends because I didn't want a lifestyle that was what they were into. So for awhile, I went it kind of alone - but I should note that I didn't even make an effort to join any social groups (i.e. Meetups). If you have no problem joining those for things you're interested in, then you shouldn't have a problem IMO. I have a close-knit group of friends here now, but I have met people just out and about. You'd be surprised even taking public transit (especially on a weekend) how many people you can meet if you're just outgoing.

They have mentioned that the group of people I might be working with range in ages from ,mid 20s to late 40s so I figured I wouldn't have a problem at least getting to know them. I'm like you though, I am kind of picky about who I actually become close friends with, but I know I can't be that picky when I'm new to an area and don't know anybody.

I don't think I will ever be that random person that talks to people on trains and in line at the grocery store. I've never been that person in Texas, and they say Texas people are generally nicer/warmer... so they say.

oakparkdude · 09-20-2013, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AriannaB

They have mentioned that the group of people I might be working with range in ages from early 20s to late 40s so I figured I wouldn't have a problem at least getting to know them. I'm like you though, I am kind of picky about who I actually become close friends with, but I know I can't be that picky when I'm new to an area and don't know anybody.

I don't think I will ever be that random person that talks to people on trains and in line at the grocery store. I've never been that person in Texas, and they say Texas people are generally nicer/warmer... so they say.

Go to meet-ups, join interest groups, join a church (if you're into that), take dance lessons. In your age group, if you live in the right parts of town, it should be pretty easy to meet people.

AriannaB · 09-20-2013, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oakparkdude

Go to meet-ups, join interest groups, join a church (if you're into that), take dance lessons. In your age group, if you live in the right parts of town, it should be pretty easy to meet people.

Right. I figured those things would be easy enough to do. I guess I'm just a little paranoid because the same question keeps getting asked of me over and over again.

marothisu · 09-20-2013, 10:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AriannaB

I don't think I will ever be that random person that talks to people on trains and in line at the grocery store. I've never been that person in Texas, and they say Texas people are generally nicer/warmer... so they say.

I'm like you too, but sometimes in certain places/times the situation is right, like if you're riding the train at 1am with a bunch of happy people.

Really though yeah, get to know the work people, and also join meet-ups and go to events if you're into that. It's a little daunting to do this from scratch, but if you are at least somewhat of a "normal" social person, you can do it.