And it continues...... (Chicago, Lake Forest, Atlanta: crimes, how much, neighborhoods)

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

I know people who work in social services whose job it is to put people on food stamps, and I have never heard of anyone getting $1,000 a month in food stamps, especially not in Illinois. In fact many Chicagoans move to other states that pay more in benefits.

no one is getting $1000 in food stamps.

[nearnorth]

Originally Posted by lenniel

I don't disagree, I had sex as a teen as well. That's not the problem. Just as many kids in Lake Forest high schools are having sex as they are in Englewood, but you don't see the same outcomes. Are white teens smarter than black teens? And don't tell me it's because they have more financial resources, anyone can scrounge up a couple bucks to buy a pack of rubbers.

I also don't buy that sex ed is the problem (if you don't know where babies come from by the time you're 15....God help us) or access to condoms (aren't they available from the school nurse or free clinics?).

The problem is the lack of focusing on having a mother and father married to raise children in the poor black community.

As Atlanta said, stupid breeds stupid and that cycle continues.

Your denial is thick.

[nearnorth]

Originally Posted by rhawkins74

I can take you to and introduce you to many who are getting over 1000/mo in foodstamps

No you can't.

[mjtinmemphis]

Originally Posted by lenniel

You have to step much further back and ask "why are black males selling drugs?"
I'll bet that most black males selling drugs or who are in jail for selling drugs don't have a father at home, married to their mother, teaching them that selling drugs is not the correct path in life.

I'm a black male and I don't sell drugs neither does anyone of my black male friends or family members. Now that I think about it all my black male friends come from 2 parent families or have strong relationship with their fathers. I don't know any statistics that shows black males are the majority of drug dealers. Statistics do show a higher conviction rate of selling drugs compared to their white counter parts.

[nearnorth]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

My teen daughter is not active.

That's what my parents and the parents of most of the girls I slept with as a teen thought, too.

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

I've kept a tight rein on her. She doesn't go any place where I don't know where she is, and I don't know her friends or their parents. If she wants to hang out with kids I don't know, I meet their parents first. Most of the activities I allow her to do are chaperoned by either me or other parents or they are all girl activities. When she has been invited to activities and there are boys there I don't know and I don't know their parents, she's simply not allowed to go. For the most part, when she is not at school or some other activity, she is at home or with me.

So basically you're another helicopter parent of a millennial. Lovely. You're kidding yourself if you think this is going to lead to a desirable outcome.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by nearnorth

That's what my parents and the parents of most of the girls I slept with as a teen thought, too.



So basically you're another helicopter parent of a millennial. Lovely. You're kidding yourself if you think this is going to lead to a desirable outcome.

Trust and believe my daughter is not active. There's just no opportunity for her to be. I know where she is and who she's with at all times, even when I let her go off on her own. She's never been in any trouble. Not ever. Her teachers, counselors and the parents of her friends dote on her and what a good kid she is. She loves being with me and doing activities with her mom. A lot of times I have to make her go do stuff with her friends, as I want her to have her own life now that she's almost 18.

Say what you want. I have a kid who for the most part is a well-behaved kid with good manners who gets good grades. She even just started her first job today. She's responsible. She knows how to cook and clean for herself, do the grocery shopping and pay bills. I'm not saying by any stretch that my kid is perfect. It's funny that I'm being criticized for doing my job as a parent, yet if I didn't parent her properly and had a child who acted a fool, you'd judge me even worse.

[nana053]

Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD

Trust and believe my daughter is not active. There's just no opportunity for her to be. I know where she is and who she's with at all times, even when I let her go off on her own. She's never been in any trouble. Not ever.

Say what you want. I have a kid who for the most part is a well-behaved kid with good manners who gets good grades. She even just started her first job today. She's responsible. She knows how to cook and clean for herself, do the grocery shopping and pay bills. I'm not saying by any stretch that my kid is perfect. It's funny that I'm being criticized for doing my job as a parent, yet if I didn't parent her properly and had a child who acted a fool, you'd judge me even worse.

The problem with that is *if* she decided she wanted to be active, it would not be hard for her to lie about who she is with and where she is especially if she has friends who will help her. I am not saying she will, but there is no way to police a child 24/7.

[nearnorth]

Originally Posted by nana053

there is no way to police a child 24/7.

Well, there ARE ways, but most will land you in prison or at least put a restraining order against you.

Atl_BD probably won't go that far, though. He'll just have a daughter who resents him, rebels against him, and possibly gets pregnant anyway.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by nana053

The problem with that is *if* she decided she wanted to be active, it would not be hard for her to lie about who she is with and where she is especially if she has friends who will help her. I am not saying she will, but there is no way to police a child 24/7.

It would be. Because she knows that I know when she's not telling the truth.

[Atlanta_BD]

Originally Posted by nearnorth

Well, there ARE ways, but most will land you in prison or at least put a restraining order against you.

Atl_BD probably won't go that far, though. He'll just have a daughter who resents him, rebels against him, and possibly gets pregnant anyway.

Nah. I'm not so strict that I don't let her have a life. We have a balanced relationship. And I'm a she. She also knows the deal. That if she gets pregnant she's out. She will not be allowed to remain in my home. But she says herself that she's not trying to have sex because she doesn't want any children. She doesn't even like being around small children.

One of my friends asked her to babysit once and my daughter was like, "Uh...no." lol

If I'm understanding correctly, you all are saying that I'm so strict on my child that she's going to rebel. So are you saying I should just let her roam the streets and let her do what she wants? How many of you have children?