New-ish to the city. Any tips on meeting new friends? (Chicago: unemployed, live in)

[jwaiter]

Originally Posted by NealIRC

I just go to where they hang out at (parks, parking lots). White people don't seem to have that.

Me and my buds love hangin out in parking lots, we have a blast, looking at cars, etc..

I thought you were asian Neal? I also, I guess I assumed, you were from Chicago. You moved here 10 years ago? Where are your parents living?

[NealIRC]

Originally Posted by jwaiter

Me and my buds love hangin out in parking lots, we have a blast, looking at cars, etc..

I thought you were asian Neal? I also, I guess I assumed, you were from Chicago. You moved here 10 years ago? Where are your parents living?

Yea I'm half Asian. I went to middle school and high school in San Diego. Was in Chicago up until the end of 5th grade.

And I went to a magnet school so not a neighborhood school so I wouldn't have known the people in my neighborhood.

So my Dad's in Chicago, my Mom in San Diego.

[personone]

Originally Posted by manstermpls

So I moved to Chicago in May from Minneapolis, and I thought that by now I'd have at least one person I can hang out with but I don't. I've tried some friendship sites, but those are pretty much dead. Meetup seems way too pretentious for me after trying a couple. I even tried dating sites(suggested by a friend back home who has had some friendship success), but nope. Nothing there. Do any of yous have any other suggestions? Hang out spots? Tips? Ideas? Im a pretty open person, but kind of an introverted extrovert. I don't frequent clubs or bars unless I go with someone and that doesn't happen too often. I'm in between jobs at the moment, so that's out of the questions for now.

I moved here almost 5 years ago, early 30s, and was in a similar situation, so I know what you're going through. It was definitely a tough transition at first to not know many people or have a place to hangout in a city this large and beautiful. Chicago is too awesome of a city to experience it alone, so it's definitely good to try and develop a social life.

I had a couple of friends from undergrad here, so I started by making sure that I regularly stayed in contact with them and periodically hung out with them. Through them, I was able to meet a few other friends, and find some cool places to hangout. Similarly, if you are a college grad and have an Alumni Chapter (which almost all major universities, especially those in the midwest should have), that is a good way to get to some social events and meet people. My undergrad and grad/professional school both have active alumni groups, so I was able to go to some cool events and meet people that way.

I see that you're in between jobs, but work friends/colleagues were also a good source of social opportunities/interactions. Although, the immediate people I work with are older, after a while I was able to get to know the young adult-age people at my job and we now hangout occasionally.

As a Catholic, there are several large and very active Catholic young adult groups/parishes in the Archdiocese of Chicago, and that was a great way to make friends and getting to a lot of social events. Church was also a great way for me to meet people. If you're not religious, I'm sure there are several other hobbies/interest groups/etc that will give you an opportunity to meet and socialize.

If you like playing sports, I'm sure that one of the groups that you get involved with will have a team that plays in one of the sports and social leagues, which are very popular here in Chicago.

There are several opportunities, you just have to kind of find a few that are right for you. I was never able to do the meetup groups/friendship sites (seemed way too awkward for me) or just randomly go to a bar and meet people, but everyone has their own comfort level.

I would personally, start with your interests and see if there are organizations that have a group here that fit those interests (whether it be alumni, sports, hobbies, religion, etc.). Then you have to commit to attending events somewhat regularly so you can get to know people over time. To me, that is the key. In a large city it's not really realistic that you're going to meet someone and then talk to that person for an hour or so, and then become best friends. It will take time, so when you find your groups of interest try to keep involved with some regularity.

[andrew61]

As a last resort, you might try answering some ads on these craigslist sites... or place an ad of your own...

chicago activity partners - craigslist

chicago strictly platonic - craigslist

Just a suggestion.

[thefallensrvnge]

Originally Posted by manstermpls

Volunteering is actually a great idea! I don't really know my way around, but I'm hoping I could find somewhere close. How long have you lived here?

I've been here for about a year and a half. I'm really loving it here, but I need to start to build social circle. I tend to be more introverted.

[andrew61]

Originally Posted by thefallensrvnge

I've been here for about a year and a half. I'm really loving it here, but I need to start to build social circle. I tend to be more introverted.

Chicago is a tough city for introverts. Being one myself, I can attest to that.

[chicago_r]

My suggestion: Join a kickball league. They run throughout the year, indoor and outdoor seasons, at various spots across the city. You'll likely be assigned to a team with several people who are in a similar situation--new to the city and trying to make friends.

I joined the S3 league and made a dozen good friends in one summer. It's a social thing, not a competitive thing.

[ChiGuy2.5]

Originally Posted by chicago_r

My suggestion: Join a kickball league. They run throughout the year, indoor and outdoor seasons, at various spots across the city. You'll likely be assigned to a team with several people who are in a similar situation--new to the city and trying to make friends.

I joined the S3 league and made a dozen good friends in one summer. It's a social thing, not a competitive thing.

Second this. I have been on Single, Sports, Social leagues for going on 5 years now. My team has been set and we always join as a team but there are lots of teams that are just a group of people joining single so they don't know each other. Then you head to the bar with your team after and you can meet people from other teams. If you don't drink then that's fine, just go for food and to hang out.

[personone]

Originally Posted by ChiGuy2.5

Second this. I have been on Single, Sports, Social leagues for going on 5 years now. My team has been set and we always join as a team but there are lots of teams that are just a group of people joining single so they don't know each other. Then you head to the bar with your team after and you can meet people from other teams. If you don't drink then that's fine, just go for food and to hang out.

When I first moved to Chicago, I joined as a "single" in the Sports and Social league one time, and it was not very fun. As you mentioned, they make a team out of all of the "single" players (those not joining as a group team). It could have been luck of the draw, but it was not a very fun experience because we had the least amount of players and no team chemistry. Also a few players would frequently not show up and we would either have to play the whole game without rest or forfeit. Also, because of that dynamic, we never really did anything "social." It could have just been a bad luck of the draw for me.

I've played on the Sports/Social league where I joined as a group with friends/organizations I'm a part of and they have been super fun and social. I have a blast.

I would say that it doesn't hurt to give it a shot as a single if you are new to the city. However, in my experience of seeing the "single" teams, they don't seem to have as much fun as the group teams.

[NealIRC]

Loneliness is a real issue, no?