Dating for 30-somethings (Chicago, San Jose: fit in, live, military)

[uncalifornian girl]

Hi,

This may have been already asked. Just wanting some input on the dating scene in Chicago, and the ratio of men to women. I'm considering a move from L.A., where in my experience, dating is really tough. For women, anyway. Lots of hot girls, very few attractive guys=impossible to find a guy who wants more than just a quick hook-up. IMHO. Anyway, I am a very pretty 35 year old divorcee, who would like to find educated, classy, culturally exposed men. I've had it with the superficial surfer dudes. heh. So, ladies, guys...what's it like out there?

Thanks

[SoonToBeChicagoan]

This thread is useless without pics.

[Avengerfire]

I would offer myself up. But again, pics are a must. haha

[Ron.]

YAAAAAAAAAAWN

Originally Posted by uncalifornian girl

Hi,

This may have been already asked. Just wanting some input on the dating scene in Chicago, and the ratio of men to women. I'm considering a move from L.A., where in my experience, dating is really tough. For women, anyway. Lots of hot girls, very few attractive guys=impossible to find a guy who wants more than just a quick hook-up. IMHO. Anyway, I am a very pretty 35 year old divorcee, who would like to find educated, classy, culturally exposed men. I've had it with the superficial surfer dudes. heh. So, ladies, guys...what's it like out there?

Thanks

[rgb123]

sorry to tell ya, the ratio is actually better in Southern California. There are more women than men in the Chicago area. You can DM me if you want. I do not think its a great place to be a single woman, though I am sure many here would tell you otherwise. A few places on the east coast can be worse, such as DC.

LA may not be the best, considering so many women there are so image concious. But, if I were in your shoes I'd be looking at some other western cities, such as Denver or some cities in the PacNW, or even Las Vegas or Sacramento area.

[Lookout Kid]

Single women in their mid-to-late 30s have a tough time in Chicago because most of the decent men get married before that age. I'd say the average age of first marriage in Chicago is about two years earlier than in Los Angeles or New York, but I don't have any evidence to back that up (just a guess). I do know a few single women that age, and their dating lives are languishing. But your chances are definitely better in Chicago than other cities in the middle of the country!

[LIS123]

The previous poster mentioned a good point about the average or median age of first marriage in Chicago vs. cities on either coast. People in Chicago might get married later in life than people in other Midwest cities, but they'll still take the plunge sooner than the people on the coasts.

Your chances would probably be best in a West Coast city besides LA. The numbers indicate than Males have an advantage on the East Coast and Females on the West Coast.

Anecdotally, I overheard some women at the airport say that their friends from CA (where they are from originally) think they're way too young to marry their BF's (I believe they were 24 and 26), while their new friends in Chicago (where they work) were asking them when they planned to get married (almost as if it was 'time to settle down already.') This happened about 6 months ago. It was quite telling.

I'd imagine a lot of the 'higher quality' men you might be interested in Chicago are unavailable, while there are plenty of successful men on the West Coast who are looking. Maybe you could try Man Jose; lol!!

[rgb123]

oh yes, San Jose, how could I forget!? I am facing the prospect of moving to the desert (california) and am worried about the same things....but from what I have heard its actually even better than LA and SF....It happens to be a marine base after all maybe even a simple move to San Diego would be better? Consider those military towns....

I certainly won't want to be dating any 21 year old military boys, but since I worked with the Air Force, I know a lot of those guys are in their 30's too.

[TecWmn]

You're best bet for being single, mid-30's is Denver. I lived in Boulder, CO and there were intelligent, single men everywhere. Also, if you like an active lifestyle and like SoCal weather....this might be a better fit. I too am a single, divorcee in my mid-30's but I don't want date so Chicago works fine for me ; )

[uncalifornian girl]

thanks for your quick responses! i'd gladly post a photo but someone has to direct me to where to add attachments on this thing. (alright, maybe i'm a bit of a bimbo too.) i'm just new to all this online community stuff. wow, so you say there are more men in l.a.? perhaps, they just have a major peter pan complex and are really nothing to fight over. ugh. denver, huh? that's an idea. i went there once briefly, and found it sort of artsy/bohemian in places with some lovely historic buildings. i really want the cold though, as wacky as that sounds. i lived in seattle for about 6 years, loved it...but wouldn't go back for personal drama reasons. anyway, i was there at the height of the nirvana-grunge granola era, i didn't fit in, i refused to wear plaid flannel. everyone made fun of my fancy clothes, heels and (gasp!) fur...a photo would tell you a lot about me, I guess....I'm white as the driven snow, a real goth girl....so wtf am i doing here in suntan land? but the east coast, well new york at least, intimidates me. too expensive, too stressed-out. and fyi, i have no interest in traditional marriage, i am just looking for something that lasts longer than a weekend, which is pretty much the way it goes here.