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Old 02-16-2011, 10:16 PM
 
Location: Wheaton, Illinois
10,261 posts, read 21,653,518 times
Reputation: 10453

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Funny reading this thread again. I wonder how long it was before that jcarlilesiu jasper got divorced.
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:29 AM
 
8,276 posts, read 11,841,506 times
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Interesting thread; makes me eternally grateful that I've only attended a handful of weddings in my life, and the last one was about 22 years ago..

The OP was concerned about the amount of the gift ( $200) being on the low end; he needn't be, as that's a perfectly acceptable gift, especially since he wasn't part of the immediate family..

Too many people trying to turn a wedding into a contest..
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Old 02-17-2011, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Cody, WY
10,420 posts, read 14,522,164 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoCUBS1 View Post
Thanks for the feedback...

I thought $200 per couple but agree that is on the low end (I have always had to struggle against my own frugality ).... This is why I am looking for advice... I also haven't attended a city wedding for awhile (most of my friends are now married w/kids) so I'm not sure what "the going rate" is....

Would $300 (per couple) be appropriate or should I give $400? $500? Should I be much more generous since the groom is an employee (we also pay him bonuses)?
This isn't about a wedding; it's about your business. Give them (really him) a thousand. The word will quickly geet around your business. You'll get a hundred times return in worker performance.

Being frugal in advertising and promotion is not laudable; it's stupid. This is about your net return.
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Old 02-17-2011, 11:50 AM
 
Location: Chicago
6,025 posts, read 15,291,269 times
Reputation: 8152
Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming View Post
This isn't about a wedding; it's about your business. Give them (really him) a thousand. The word will quickly geet around your business. You'll get a hundred times return in worker performance.

Being frugal in advertising and promotion is not laudable; it's stupid. This is about your net return.
or it will get around and every single employee that gets married (or has a baby shower) will expect $1K from you and will be PO f they don't get it.

not even quite sure what this comment has to do w/ the quoted comment. we're talking about weddings, not an advertising job
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,339 posts, read 5,956,164 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Originally Posted by [B
GoCUBS1[/b]
Thanks for the feedback...

I thought $200 per couple but agree that is on the low end (I have always had to struggle against my own frugality ).... This is why I am looking for advice... I also haven't attended a city wedding for awhile (most of my friends are now married w/kids) so I'm not sure what "the going rate" is....

Would $300 (per couple) be appropriate or should I give $400? $500? Should I be much more generous since the groom is an employee (we also pay him bonuses)?
Dang! I am honestly shocked that someone would think $200 from a couple is on the low end for a wedding gift! I got married in 2009 and only got one or two gifts of that amount or more; from my husband's grandparents, my uncle (the rich one, $328, cause our wedding date was 3-28, and it was from him, my aunt, and cousin), and maybe we got one other gift of more than $200, I'm not really sure if we did.

People are so crazy about weddings. We has a relatively fancy wedding, but it was WAY cheaper than any of our guests would have thought due to the insane amount of DIY stuff I did. I spent about $11k total, which for a wedding in Chicago is on the low end. We didn't even use real flowers; I made all the flowers out of a special clay (which took forever). I made every item I possibly could: invitations, place cards, favors, center pieces, save the date cards, etc. Nothing that could be made was bought so I could stay on budget (and I like crafty stuff).

Seriously though, the gifts were not what we cared about. I wanted a frickin' fun party, and that's what we had. I didn't give our guests tons of dinner options (in fact, they had none; although we did vegetarian and whatever for people with allergies) or anything like that. My priorities were decently good food, open bar, and a fun DJ.

I honestly think the gift a person gives should reflect their financial means and their relaltionship with the couple. When someone I know gets married I gift them a gift I think they will appreciate and that makes sense. Of course, I actually thought giving a gift of $200 was generous, so apparently I am clueless. If I hardly know them, then the gift probably isn't as big (or I won't go). Why do people get so caught up on this stuff? I'm not gonna go broke to attend someone's wedding and wouldn't expect anyone else to, either. If a wedding is so lavish that $200 doesn't cover my dinner there, I really don't care that much; they made the decision to have that wedding. I didn't expect guests to fund my wedding, why should I fund theirs?

Weddings are a party, people! They are about fun, not money and gifts and what you're eating.
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:50 PM
 
190 posts, read 402,838 times
Reputation: 152
Hilarious thread but great points. For reference' sake I got married in June 08 in downtown Chicago at a museum. The wedding cost about 45k, paid for by myself and hubby. Though we are a bit older, late 30's so could afford it. Smaller wedding, 90 people. Point of my post is this was considered a very nice wedding but our average "cash" gift was between $100-$150 per person. There were a few that gave quite a bit more but for the most part I think that the $100-$150 is still pretty typical. And at our very nice wedding we did have a couple of people who did not give a gift at all. Single guys who just do not know any better
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Old 02-17-2011, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Humboldt Park, Chicago
3,485 posts, read 3,104,429 times
Reputation: 2564
$200 seems absolutely appropriate/generous. No reason to sweat about it any further.
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