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Old 11-16-2009, 01:59 PM
 
85 posts, read 86,624 times
Reputation: 37
Default Moving to Chicago to Find 'The One'.

I am SWF 33 in Indianapolis - I want to move to Chicago because I think there is more opportunity to meet the right man for me - as I feel all there is here are corn farmers and bubba! lol.

I have one daughter and some of my family are against me moving - due to crime, lack of support system but I am only this age once - and there are other single moms in the city.

Where do women meet men in Chicago? At the grocery store, at singles events, online or at the bar/club or just through acquaintances and friends or work? I know what I am looking for - but where is he?

Does it matter where you are when seeking / finding love?
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:05 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
7,372 posts, read 7,793,104 times
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I would only move to Chicago if that is where I wanted to live, not to find a man. Men are everywhere, and I find it hard to believe that all the men in Indy are corn farmers. I don't think any one place is easier to find a man than another, but if you lived in a thinly populated rural area it might be harder. Unless you really want to live in Chicago, and I can see where it might have its charms, you should probably stay put for the reasons your family presented. Then you'll have built in babysitting when you want to date.
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:09 PM
 
85 posts, read 86,624 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I would only move to Chicago if that is where I wanted to live, not to find a man. Men are everywhere, and I find it hard to believe that all the men in Indy are corn farmers. I don't think any one place is easier to find a man than another, but if you lived in a thinly populated rural area it might be harder. Unless you really want to live in Chicago, and I can see where it might have its charms, you should probably stay put for the reasons your family presented. Then you'll have built in babysitting when you want to date.
I disagree. I want the heartbeat and energy of a bigger city - the lights and the ... streets of the people so busy and something ... you can't put your finger on - I want to be there.
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, B.C., Canada
9,006 posts, read 11,737,590 times
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how do you know THE ONE lives in chicago?
he could live anywhere like stepka said move there cause you want to.
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:14 AM
 
20,757 posts, read 32,556,126 times
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The single mom factor is going to be a killer.

If you have family that you can count on even a little bit in Indy that would be a HUGE reason to stay put.

If your daughter is school age the needs of getting a good education in Chicago itself are going to be very demanding. Many of the schools in Chicago that are good are 'selective admissions' and just living near them is not enough. You would have lots of hoops to jump through...

Cost of living in Chicago is MUCH higher than an Indy. I would say that if you spend that extra money for an "image makeover" online dating and travel throughout the midwest you would be WAY AHEAD in you search to find a life partner...
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Old 11-17-2009, 09:27 AM
 
18 posts, read 28,733 times
Reputation: 23
Quote:
Originally Posted by glass_candy View Post
I am SWF 33 in Indianapolis - I want to move to Chicago because I think there is more opportunity to meet the right man for me - as I feel all there is here are corn farmers and bubba! lol.

I have one daughter and some of my family are against me moving - due to crime, lack of support system but I am only this age once - and there are other single moms in the city.

Where do women meet men in Chicago? At the grocery store, at singles events, online or at the bar/club or just through acquaintances and friends or work? I know what I am looking for - but where is he?

Does it matter where you are when seeking / finding love?
Chicago is a great city if you're single and have no kids, but I would not consider raising kids here.

(1) With very few exceptions (schools in the most expensive neighborhoods that you likely won't be able to afford and a few magnet schools that are almost impossible to get into), the public schools here are not only bad but dangerous. Chicago was recently ranked the worst city for urban youth. The 5 Worst Cities for Urban Youth - ABC News

(2) Although there are a lot of single men here, many of them are gay or are not at a stage in life where they are looking to settle down. As I got older, I ended up dating more guys in the suburbs because they happened to be the ones who were more interested in having a long-term relationship.

(3) The cost of living here is much, much higher than in Indianapolis. By one measure, it costs 69 percent more to live here than in Indianapolis. Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitors sites is not allowed

Last edited by Yac; 11-19-2009 at 04:51 AM..
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Old 11-17-2009, 01:22 PM
 
10,069 posts, read 16,882,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citygirlll View Post
Chicago is a great city if you're single and have no kids, but I would not consider raising kids here.
I think this advice is pretty silly. Many people find Chicago and its suburbs a suitable place to raise kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by citygirlll View Post
(1) With very few exceptions (schools in the most expensive neighborhoods that you likely won't be able to afford and a few magnet schools that are almost impossible to get into), the public schools here are not only bad but dangerous. Chicago was recently ranked the worst city for urban youth.
She doesn't have to stay in the city. And if she does, she doesn't necessarily have to send her kids to a bad school. There are many options.

Quote:
Originally Posted by citygirlll View Post
(2) Although there are a lot of single men here, many of them are gay or are not at a stage in life where they are looking to settle down. As I got older, I ended up dating more guys in the suburbs because they happened to be the ones who were more interested in having a long-term relationship.
You are really stereotyping and overgeneralizing here. There are all kinds of people living in Chicago (and the suburbs), and the pool of unmarried men in their 30s will be MUCH larger here than in Indianapolis, where people tend to get married at a younger age.

Quote:
Originally Posted by citygirlll View Post
(3) The cost of living here is much, much higher than in Indianapolis. By one measure, it costs 69 percent more to live here than in Indianapolis.Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitors sites is not allowed
It's all relative. Chicago may be costly compared to Indianapolis, but it's a downright bargain compared to many other urban areas that are popular with young singles (like New York, Boston, Los Angeles, the Bay Area, etc.) And cost of living can vary wildly here. Chicagoland has high-flying premium cost places to live, and low-rent cheaper places to live. And not all of the cheaper places are crime-infested hell holes.

Last edited by Yac; 11-19-2009 at 04:51 AM..
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Old 11-17-2009, 01:28 PM
 
10,069 posts, read 16,882,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chet everett View Post
The single mom factor is going to be a killer.
Over the years I've noticed that internet dating is a good option for people who have a, um, specific circumstance working against them (whether it's a child, or some specific quirk that limits the dating pool like weird interests, devout religious beliefs, or shyness). For instance, there may be single Dads who are interested in dating someone else with kids, and you're not going to randomly come across them partying in a bar in Wrigleyville. Online dating will put the single Mom factor out in the open right away, and allow people to filter it out if it bothers them.
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Old 11-17-2009, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Mokena, Illinois
947 posts, read 1,252,965 times
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I was a divorced mother of two at your age, living in Chicago. Let me tell you, even with child support and cheap rent compliments of living in my parents 3 flat, it was hard. I had a job as a store manager and my kids were 8 and 10 at that time. If not for my parents living downstairs to keep an eye on them, I never would have made it.
Please think about this long and hard. When the timing is right, everything will fall into place.
BTW, whatever you do, good luck.
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Old 11-17-2009, 01:47 PM
 
20,757 posts, read 32,556,126 times
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The "deal breaker" that I see is that the OP has family that is advising against this. If they were supportive of her move and/or she had some help in Chicago this might be less of disaster in the making.

When ever anyone is relocating there are lots of stresses. Having to get a new job and place to live are a huge challenge right now as Chicago is suffering with very high unemployment.

The additional burdens of being a single mom really make this seem like a terrible idea.

I will also add that the stats from the city-data repository suggest those employed in manufacturing jobs in Indy are going to be much better off tham those with similar employment in Chicago.
http://www.city-data.com/us-cities/T...s-Economy.html

http://www.city-data.com/us-cities/T...o-Economy.html

The OP did post this in the CHICAGO forum and not the suburban forum. My concerns about costs and lack of support would be just a great, and although the concern about schools MIGHT be lessened outside of the 'hip' zone, the likelihood of having places to date / hang out falls off dramatically when living in the suburbs.

The comparisons to other areas that are popular with singles is not particularly relevant -- the OP is a single mom. Perhaps if the OP provides more details about the kind of demographics she is seeking that might make a stronger case for Chicago over Indy, but the simple fact that it is far more expensive to live hear AND the difficulties in child care present a steep hurdle.
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