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Well, obviously we treat them with respect because we still have a relationship with them. Matter of fact, we ARE the only family members who have been there for them. As far as closeness goes, we were never "superclose" and it was way before we even knew that they were gay. So that has nothing to do wether someone is gay or not.
That`s your right to think the way you do about homosexuality. But I find it funny how people like myself who disagree , get "labled." Yet, I am the one with the peaceful relationship with my gay family member and yet, I get called all kind of names by those who disagree with me. This is very contradictive. People who are gay don`t want to be labled, yet they label those who disagree and attack verbaly those who disagree.
I guess I just don't understand with the way you use "disagree." You can't really disagree with their life - you might think it's wrong (which you obviously do) but it's not really your life to agree or disagree with. Maybe that is just semantics. But it's not a choice - and it surely isn't YOUR choice - so I don't really understand why you say you "disagree" with it. I'm not trying to pick a fight - I guess I just find your choice of words confusing.
Just for the record - I'm not gay and I'm not verbally attacking you. I'm merely pointing out that tolerating and accepting are 2 different things - and most people can tell the difference. I'm glad you still have a relationship with them - although I can't believe that nobody else in your family does. I think that's very sad.
However, sometimes tolerating comes first - and then comes acceptance.
I hope that the OP can someday experience at least the "tolerance" of his family with him.
It`s not about tolerating. If it was then I wouldn`t be taking a vacation with them. We`ve already accepted the fact that they are gay. But that still doesn`t mean just because I`ve accepted their choice that I agree with what they do. I never said it was my choice.They made their choice.This runs the gammet of all kinds of situations in life, not just this. Not everybody is going to agree on everybodys choices in life. Not even YOU.
We`ll just have to disagree on the fact that you think it`s not a choice to be gay and I do think it`s a choice.
It`s not about tolerating. If it was then I wouldn`t be taking a vacation with them. We`ve already accepted the fact that they are gay. But that still doesn`t mean just because I`ve accepted their choice that I agree with what they do. I never said it was my choice.They made their choice.This runs the gammet of all kinds of situations in life, not just this. Not everybody is going to agree on everybodys choices in life. Not even YOU.
We`ll just have to disagree on the fact that you think it`s not a choice to be gay and I do think it`s a choice.
Geez... I never said I would!
Let's just say that I didn't choose to be straight - I'm attracted to men. I always have been and I always will be.
I would never choose to be gay because I don't find women attractive in that way.
You might consider it a choice to act on our sexual preferences - but we do not get to choose what our sexual preferences are. No matter how much I appreciate women and think that they are beautiful - I still don't want to sleep with them or have a romantic relationship with them. It's the way I was born - not a choice that I made.
We don't get to pick who we are attracted to. If that were the case - most of my friends wouldn't have dated such losers!!!
Nonsensical logic. Man accepted the devil's fruit (sin), and the world fell. Why are people born with health problems? The fall. Mankind is in the hands of the devil. Just imagine what hell will be like? No God, no love, no trees, no life -- just death, death, death. This is what sin brings.
Given the fall of man, some people are truly born gay. They have the wrong desire, and Jesus can deliver them from that. Jesus came to set the captives free. Sin of any kind is devil bondage.
Jesus is the only door to set people free. If they won't accept all of Him, and all of His truth, then they will remain children of the devil; and his inheritance will be their inheritance too -- hell fire.
You start with 'nonsensical logic' only to proceed with contents from the Bible. Interesting.
I am debating attending an American Baptist church tomorrow that is supposedly tolerant of gay and lesbian members. I am very nervous about going to this church. First, its not IFB and has decidedly more liberal views on a lot of issues. Second, my parents will ask me where I went and if I tell them they will research the church and find out that it is liberal and will at best tell me I am destined for hell and explain their shame on me or at worst disown me for going to a gay friendly church. If I lie and say I went to the IFB near me they will call up the church (my dad being an IFB preacher has connections with IFB churches around the country) and ask them if I was there, and if they find out I was not, then the outcome could be worse than if I didn't even go at all. Should I just go to the IFB church to please my parents or go to this other church where I will be far more comfortable but risk a major rift with my family?
One more thing, one of the big issues on parents' side is my dad is currently assistant pastor and he says he cannot be head pastor at a church unless his immediate family also hold to the IFB faith.
I am debating attending an American Baptist church tomorrow that is supposedly tolerant of gay and lesbian members. I am very nervous about going to this church. First, its not IFB and has decidedly more liberal views on a lot of issues. Second, my parents will ask me where I went and if I tell them they will research the church and find out that it is liberal and will at best tell me I am destined for hell and explain their shame on me or at worst disown me for going to a gay friendly church. If I lie and say I went to the IFB near me they will call up the church (my dad being an IFB preacher has connections with IFB churches around the country) and ask them if I was there, and if they find out I was not, then the outcome could be worse than if I didn't even go at all. Should I just go to the IFB church to please my parents or go to this other church where I will be far more comfortable but risk a major rift with my family?
One more thing, one of the big issues on parents' side is my dad is currently assistant pastor and he says he cannot be head pastor at a church unless his immediate family also hold to the IFB faith.
So, what does God want you to do?
Really, all that matters is that you do what God wants.
Personally, I am glad that you are sticking with the Lord thru all of this. May the Lord bless you and give you peace and direction.
I am debating attending an American Baptist church tomorrow that is supposedly tolerant of gay and lesbian members. I am very nervous about going to this church. First, its not IFB and has decidedly more liberal views on a lot of issues. Second, my parents will ask me where I went and if I tell them they will research the church and find out that it is liberal and will at best tell me I am destined for hell and explain their shame on me or at worst disown me for going to a gay friendly church. If I lie and say I went to the IFB near me they will call up the church (my dad being an IFB preacher has connections with IFB churches around the country) and ask them if I was there, and if they find out I was not, then the outcome could be worse than if I didn't even go at all. Should I just go to the IFB church to please my parents or go to this other church where I will be far more comfortable but risk a major rift with my family?
One more thing, one of the big issues on parents' side is my dad is currently assistant pastor and he says he cannot be head pastor at a church unless his immediate family also hold to the IFB faith.
Chris,
I am very sorry for what you are going through on this ..... For me personally lying would not be the way to go .. as you say when your family finds out it would be much, much worse.
All I can suggest is that you seek Gods counsel and guidance.
I agree with mr5150 that it is great that you are sticking with the Lord through this -- what I personally think is that if you try to do what your parents want you to do - attend IBF churches, be straight ie act straight against your nature you will never find peace in God and yourself, you will be trying to be what you are not for your parents sake, and I would think that it would in the long run cause a lot more friction for you, you would always need to change your feelings and actions to conform to what your parents want you to be .......
I can see that which ever way you go it will be tough on you in the present .... however if you are honest with yourself and God and your parents you will keep your sense of integrity and how your parents decide to react to your decisions in where you worship is up to them.........
It`s not about tolerating. If it was then I wouldn`t be taking a vacation with them. We`ve already accepted the fact that they are gay. But that still doesn`t mean just because I`ve accepted their choice that I agree with what they do. I never said it was my choice.They made their choice.This runs the gammet of all kinds of situations in life, not just this. Not everybody is going to agree on everybodys choices in life. Not even YOU.
We`ll just have to disagree on the fact that you think it`s not a choice to be gay and I do think it`s a choice.
If you're not gay, how on earth can you decide it's a choice? I just can't fathom how anyone could believe that anyone decides which sex they're attracted to and capable of loving. My only choice was to deny who I am and pretend to be heterosexual and live my life alone, or choose to ignore the ignorance of others and live my life for me, how I was created.
I am debating attending an American Baptist church tomorrow that is supposedly tolerant of gay and lesbian members. I am very nervous about going to this church. First, its not IFB and has decidedly more liberal views on a lot of issues. Second, my parents will ask me where I went and if I tell them they will research the church and find out that it is liberal and will at best tell me I am destined for hell and explain their shame on me or at worst disown me for going to a gay friendly church. If I lie and say I went to the IFB near me they will call up the church (my dad being an IFB preacher has connections with IFB churches around the country) and ask them if I was there, and if they find out I was not, then the outcome could be worse than if I didn't even go at all. Should I just go to the IFB church to please my parents or go to this other church where I will be far more comfortable but risk a major rift with my family?
One more thing, one of the big issues on parents' side is my dad is currently assistant pastor and he says he cannot be head pastor at a church unless his immediate family also hold to the IFB faith.
It was an American Baptist pastor in college who helped me come to terms with being gay, and pointed went to Greek translations to show how the Bible truly isn't anti-gay. You'll probably like the church.
As for your family, I don't know what to say. If you're over 18, your father can't tell you what to do. I find the level of control you describe to be incredibly disturbing, to say the least. I don't see how you can ever reconcile your parents control and beliefs with your own knowledge and beliefs. I don't know if there really is truth in what your father says about family members, but that doesn't sound true to me. Could just be more of a control mechanism he's using on you. Good luck.
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