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Old 12-03-2017, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Booth Texas
14,774 posts, read 4,958,159 times
Reputation: 1499

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People who sleep are so lucky, they don't even know how lucky they are. I slept 9 hours straight last night and that is a miracle for me. I feel good to be alive today cause I don't ever sleep and when I do, it's like Christmas the next day. 4 or 5 days without a wink, and then I sleep 2 hours, and then 3 days without sleep, and then 30 min. If I sleep 6 hours, it is such a gift, but to sleep 9 hours is a great blessing. My poor grandson was here yesterday and he has a long road ahead of him because he has the same affliction I have. If I ever wished for a miracle healing, it would be for my grandson and his inherited restless body syndrome. 2 years old and sitting there crying and beating himself. I would burn myself when I was 4 and 5 just to have a distraction. Always awake, imagine having a 3 or 4 year old who never sleeps, and who is walking around while you are asleep. I feel so guilty for giving him that hell cause it don't ever go away.
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Old 12-03-2017, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,003 posts, read 54,508,374 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannibal Flavius View Post
People who sleep are so lucky, they don't even know how lucky they are. I slept 9 hours straight last night and that is a miracle for me. I feel good to be alive today cause I don't ever sleep and when I do, it's like Christmas the next day. 4 or 5 days without a wink, and then I sleep 2 hours, and then 3 days without sleep, and then 30 min. If I sleep 6 hours, it is such a gift, but to sleep 9 hours is a great blessing. My poor grandson was here yesterday and he has a long road ahead of him because he has the same affliction I have. If I ever wished for a miracle healing, it would be for my grandson and his inherited restless body syndrome. 2 years old and sitting there crying and beating himself. I would burn myself when I was 4 and 5 just to have a distraction. Always awake, imagine having a 3 or 4 year old who never sleeps, and who is walking around while you are asleep. I feel so guilty for giving him that hell cause it don't ever go away.
Isn't there anything they can give you, Hanni, or do you just not like to take meds. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 3. I was a working mom and exhausted most of the time. Her first couple of years are a fog in my mind because between working/commuting to NYC, her not sleeping, and my ex's habits, I didn't get enough sleep for years.

Now my daughter is 26 and was diagnosed as bipolar two years ago. One of the symptoms was that she could not sleep in a manic state and stayed awake for three days at a time. I look back to her inability to sleep when she was a baby and wonder if that was an early sign.

I sleep OK most of the time now unless I am worried about things, and I am a world-class worrier with oak-leaf cluster by nature, though I can control it somewhat now.

Hope you have another peaceful night tonight, my friend.
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Old 12-03-2017, 05:04 PM
 
Location: Booth Texas
14,774 posts, read 4,958,159 times
Reputation: 1499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Isn't there anything they can give you, Hanni, or do you just not like to take meds. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 3. I was a working mom and exhausted most of the time. Her first couple of years are a fog in my mind because between working/commuting to NYC, her not sleeping, and my ex's habits, I didn't get enough sleep for years.

Now my daughter is 26 and was diagnosed as bipolar two years ago. One of the symptoms was that she could not sleep in a manic state and stayed awake for three days at a time. I look back to her inability to sleep when she was a baby and wonder if that was an early sign.

I sleep OK most of the time now unless I am worried about things, and I am a world-class worrier with oak-leaf cluster by nature, though I can control it somewhat now.

Hope you have another peaceful night tonight, my friend.
They have great drugs, but it's just like taking the blue pill, I just can't, I would rather not sleep. Norco works, and that was the only thing they could give people a few decades ago, codien doesn't work for some reason, tramadol works if it isn't bad but then no doctor will give you pills for restless body syndrome anymore, and when I figured out what worked, it was on for me and them drugs after that. I know for sure what my end will be, I will end up on Methadone, I already know that. I was on it before and getting off almost killed me, but for those few months it was a dream come true lol, but that is just synthetic heroin, daddy likey.


But man, I seen some guys watch their entire left leg turn completely black and they still abusing methadone. That's what happens though, it opens you open wide, and then it collapses everything, it's terrible and yet, if it gets too bad for me, it's methadone for about ten years till the drug kills me.
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Old 12-03-2017, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Booth Texas
14,774 posts, read 4,958,159 times
Reputation: 1499
Restless body syndrome is just like going through heroin withdrawals and in some ways, much worse, you will literally hurt yourself on purpose all the time and never sleep.
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Old 12-03-2017, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,003 posts, read 54,508,374 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannibal Flavius View Post
Restless body syndrome is just like going through heroin withdrawals and in some ways, much worse, you will literally hurt yourself on purpose all the time and never sleep.
I'm sorry you have to suffer with that.
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Old 12-03-2017, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Booth Texas
14,774 posts, read 4,958,159 times
Reputation: 1499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
I'm sorry you have too suffer with that.
Your daughter has it bad too, I am bi-polar too, and I know to well what obsession is, hell, anyone can see obsession just by looking at me, I stand out with obsession in my eyes and everyone knows it. QUITE scary lol. I realized early on what a compulsive obsessive person I was. Then I literally chose what to obsess about. Do you know why your daughter is like that? She can't stand to be in her own head. The voices of her past need to be silenced, and you make your mind full so it doesn't have a chance to think of things. Now most people would see this as a curse, but I would put money on your daughter that she excels in ways others don't. I mean, not all bi polar people excel and I think it is harder for women, but whatever you have, you have a person filled with passion, and that is better than going through life without passion.
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Old 12-03-2017, 08:55 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,003 posts, read 54,508,374 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannibal Flavius View Post
Your daughter has it bad too, I am bi-polar too, and I know to well what obsession is, hell, anyone can see obsession just by looking at me, I stand out with obsession in my eyes and everyone knows it. QUITE scary lol. I realized early on what a compulsive obsessive person I was. Then I literally chose what to obsess about. Do you know why your daughter is like that? She can't stand to be in her own head. The voices of her past need to be silenced, and you make your mind full so it doesn't have a chance to think of things. Now most people would see this as a curse, but I would put money on your daughter that she excels in ways others don't. I mean, not all bi polar people excel and I think it is harder for women, but whatever you have, you have a person filled with passion, and that is better than going through life without passion.
Thank you. She does, and yes, your last line is so true.
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Old 12-03-2017, 10:08 PM
Status: "We The North" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Ontario, Canada
25,757 posts, read 13,395,224 times
Reputation: 11666
It's good to be reminded semi-regularly that there are people battling all manner of invisible, and visible, demons.

(And before some of you get your exorcists on speed-dial, I mean "demons" metaphorically: burdens/injuries/uphill battles.)

However difficult our road, billions would swap for it.
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Old 12-04-2017, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
56,003 posts, read 54,508,374 times
Reputation: 66349
Quote:
Originally Posted by TroutDude View Post
It's good to be reminded semi-regularly that there are people battling all manner of invisible, and visible, demons.

(And before some of you get your exorcists on speed-dial, I mean "demons" metaphorically: burdens/injuries/uphill battles.)

However difficult our road, billions would swap for it.
Yup. And at the bolded.

My recently-retired priest used to make a point of reminding, whenever the day's readings included people possessed by demons, that what they were talking about was someone with a mental illness.

I have some OCD stuff myself. Learned to manage it, live with it, and even embrace it. I believe that for me, it's connected to creativity. For some people, OCD is so debilitating they cannot function normally, hold a job or leave the house.

My daughter, on the other hand, was once at a point where she wanted to end her life because she couldn't stand being inside her own head, as Hanni so eloquently states. She feels very strongly about speaking out about her mental illness without shame so that others who hear might not feel shame about theirs.
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Old 12-04-2017, 11:34 AM
 
20,342 posts, read 9,815,907 times
Reputation: 1672
My heart goes out to all those suffering from various illnesses and/or pain.
Whether it's mental, emotional or physical - as I also live with pain everyday.

However, I always look for the silver lining in every cloud of despair.
And I hope that you do as well. For your sake and those you love.
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