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Old 09-12-2010, 12:24 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,852,316 times
Reputation: 3140

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Our first was to be named Archie, a name my first husband (I will call 12 here) picked out before we were married. We had a girl. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Second pregnancy. If the child was a boy, he was to be named Archie. We mentioned this to a relative and his fiancee (who weren't even pregnant!).

Family fight.

When they left, 12 looked at me and said something like, "I'd planned on that name for years because of Grandpa Archie, but if it's going to be like that, let's choose another name." This time, I was angry.

So I wanted to name our new little boy after 12, but it was 12 who said no. His reason was that he didn't like the mix-ups and other stuff that occurred when a father and son had the same name. I gave in, and we gave him 12's middle name only - 2. So let's call our son 32, representing his name. Years later, I was glad we named our son 32.

Then 12 died, and all "the mix-ups and other stuff that occurred when a father and son had the same name" was no longer a problem, I decided I wanted to give our son 12's name, retaining our son's first name we had chosen. So his name became 312.

Major family fight. Lots of criticism and attempts to shame me.

This time, I thought, "Too bad." Our son is proud to carry his father's name.

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Old 09-12-2010, 12:35 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 21,047,300 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
Our first was to be named Archie, a name my first husband (I will call 12 here) picked out before we were married. We had a girl. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Second pregnancy. If the child was a boy, he was to be named Archie. We mentioned this to a relative and his fiancee (who weren't even pregnant!).

Family fight.

When they left, 12 looked at me and said something like, "I'd planned on that name for years because of Grandpa Archie, but if it's going to be like that, let's choose another name." This time, I was angry.

So I wanted to name our new little boy after 12, but it was 12 who said no. His reason was that he didn't like the mix-ups and other stuff that occurred when a father and son had the same name. I gave in, and we gave him 12's middle name only - 2. So let's call our son 32, representing his name. Years later, I was glad we named our son 32.

Then 12 died, and all "the mix-ups and other stuff that occurred when a father and son had the same name" was no longer a problem, I decided I wanted to give our son 12's name, retaining our son's first name we had chosen. So his name became 312.

Major family fight. Lots of criticism and attempts to shame me.

This time, I thought, "Too bad." Our son is proud to carry his father's name.

First of all - I'm sorry for your loss. I know you found love again - which is wonderful - but I'm sorry about what you had to go through.

Second - I have never understood family fights over names! I know this happens frequently - it just amazes me! It saddens me to hear of it.

I don't want to name our son (if we have one) after my husband - because of the confusion. I had a friend who was named after his father and his father found out his son was gay because he read a letter addressed to his son. His son's friend had forgotten to add the Jr. after his name - so the father thought it was for him. Needless to say - it was a very traumatic experience for both of them!
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Old 09-12-2010, 12:46 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,852,316 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
First of all - I'm sorry for your loss. I know you found love again - which is wonderful - but I'm sorry about what you had to go through.
Oh, it really was long ago. It still surprises me that he was killed well over thirty years ago. You know that saying, "Love never dies"? In my opinion, it doesn't. But life goes on, new people come, and that gives one an opportunity for love to expand!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
Second - I have never understood family fights over names! I know this happens frequently - it just amazes me! It saddens me to hear of it.
I didn't understand this either, but really, I must say that my first parents-in-law may not have liked it, may have had words about it, but they are still wonderful people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
I don't want to name our son (if we have one) after my husband - because of the confusion. I had a friend who was named after his father and his father found out his son was gay because he read a letter addressed to his son. His son's friend had forgotten to add the Jr. after his name - so the father thought it was for him. Needless to say - it was a very traumatic experience for both of them!
Ouch!
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Old 09-12-2010, 01:21 AM
 
5,499 posts, read 4,580,989 times
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Okay...my first husband's name is Richard, nicknamed Dick, who wanted our firstborn to be a Junior. I was horrified at thought of having two Dicks, so I suggested Junn (for junior) to pacify him...
After two and a half years, we decided to try for a girl which got me very excited and started selecting names that sounded unique. We did not want to find out ahead of time the baby's gender...we wanted to be surprised.

To make the story short...my little boy spent his first 24 hours on earth with only baby boy what's his name for ID...until I saw how he struggled in protest when a nurse tried to change his little top...then bingo, I remembered the movie "Jason and the Argonauts"...thus he became Jason...

This son passed away at age 24........
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Old 09-12-2010, 01:23 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,852,316 times
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Oh my, Ans! The grief we often have to carry.
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Old 09-12-2010, 01:43 AM
 
5,499 posts, read 4,580,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
Oh my, Ans! The grief we often have to carry.
Velcro...my other son had an MI three years ago and had to undergo an angioplasty. On the way to the hospital, I poured out my soul to God, and told HIM that when he took the younger...I obeyed...but if he takes the last one I'll become a rebel with a motherly cause against his plan (as if...)...God relented...and I love and thank HIM more for that..

This is how I commune with God...
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Old 09-12-2010, 01:46 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,852,316 times
Reputation: 3140
Ans, I cannot imagine losing one of my children. I nearly lost my daughter to cancer, but she is now counted as a cancer survivor. And I worry about my son, to whom I passed my motor-cycle-loving-genes.

It was hard enough to lose a husband . . . .
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Old 09-12-2010, 02:12 AM
 
5,499 posts, read 4,580,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
Ans, I cannot imagine losing one of my children. I nearly lost my daughter to cancer, but she is now counted as a cancer survivor. And I worry about my son, to whom I passed my motor-cycle-loving-genes.

It was hard enough to lose a husband . . . .
At times we don't understand as to why things happen the way they do...this I know, we are not given a burden we cannot bear. So sorry you've lost your first husband...but happy for you and your daughter Velcro.

Hell racer...eh?
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Old 09-12-2010, 02:38 AM
 
Location: West Coast USA
1,577 posts, read 1,852,316 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ans57 View Post
At times we don't understand as to why things happen the way they do...this I know, we are not given a burden we cannot bear. So sorry you've lost your first husband...but happy for you and your daughter Velcro.
Yeah, me, too. Recently celebrated another of her birthdays. Each one is a blessing.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ans57 View Post
Hell racer...eh?
No -- not really. He's a family man who's nuts about his family. He's careful, I think, but I remember what it was like -- I don't trust other drivers!
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Old 09-12-2010, 04:07 AM
 
5,499 posts, read 4,580,989 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VelcroQueen View Post
Yeah, me, too. Recently celebrated another of her birthdays. Each one is a blessing.

No -- not really. He's a family man who's nuts about his family. He's careful, I think, but I remember what it was like -- I don't trust other drivers!
The hell racer joke was meant for you!

Last edited by ans57; 09-12-2010 at 04:26 AM..
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