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Old 07-06-2010, 03:45 PM
 
11,272 posts, read 11,290,108 times
Reputation: 3474

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I mean, why should I let Lahayne and Jenkins corner the rapture fiction market and make all that bread for themselves?

I'm going to call my series "Left Behind the 8-Ball"

The main plot will focus on 7 diverse individuals who try to make their way to Petra, Jordan so the Antichrist can't get his hands on them before the Second Coming.

First Novel in the Series: "Tribulation Farce". The plot will introduce the seven characters, who through various quirks and questionable lifestyle choices find themselves....well, Left Behind after the rapture. They board a plane bound for Petra, Jordan in hopes of hiding out for 7 years, but the plane is hijacked to Los Angeles. Eventually they make their way to Burbank Studios where 10 Presidents of Major Networks have just given their power to Antichrist for one hour in exchange for coming up with hit game show that will save their networks' flagging ratings. Antichrist, being the creative genius he is, comes up with "666 Ways to Mispronounce Apocalypse" Tag: Pronounce it right and win a free all-expenses-paid one-way trip to Petra Jordan (round-trip not needed as Jesus will fly you back "without a plane" at the end of the Tribulation). It sounds right up their alley so they apply to get on the game show.

During the taping the group chooses their leader, Drizzle to be the first contestant. The MC asks him to pronounce Apocalypse, but nerves get the best of Drizzle and it comes out "A Pox on Your Lips".

OUCH! Too bad. Now Drizzle must choose between three doors. One has the trip to Petra behind it. The other two have booby prizes. Nervously, Drizzle looks at his compadres for suggestions. They scream, "Door Number Three! Door Number Three", thinking three is a lucky number. But Antichrist is too clever for them and has anticipated that contestants even remotely interested in flying to a hell-hole like Petra have to be Christians and would likely choose door #3 because of the number's association with all things Christian. He's deftly hidden a booby prize behind door #3. When the curtain goes up all the audience gasps. There on a table sits a bottle of "Behead and Shoulders Shampoo".

Zoiiiiiiing!

The "gotcha" buzzer sounds. Henchmen of AC come out to lead Drizzle away. The irony of having won a bottle of shampoo with the odd name "Behead and Shoulders" is not lost on Drizzle. He and his friends have been reading for weeks that AC has come up with a novel new way to behead his enemies: his henchmen keep shampooing their victim's hair until all the rubbing has worn the victim's head down to his shoulders. Dejected, Drizzle is led away to face the executioner who, not surprisingly, is the best coiffures artist in the city. Drizzle takes comfort in the fact, however, that at least he's found a permanent solution to his lifelong psoriasis problem.

Watch for Volume 2 of "Left Behind the 8-Ball" : "Jolly Old St. Nicolae" coming soon to a bookstore near you.
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:52 PM
 
5,499 posts, read 4,578,505 times
Reputation: 5149
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I mean, why should I let Lahayne and Jenkins corner the rapture fiction market and make all that bread for themselves?

I'm going to call my series "Left Behind the 8-Ball"

The main plot will focus on 7 diverse individuals who try to make their way to Petra, Jordan so the Antichrist can't get his hands on them before the Second Coming.

First Novel in the Series: "Tribulation Farce". The plot will introduce the seven characters, who through various quirks and questionable lifestyle choices find themselves....well, Left Behind after the rapture. They board a plane bound for Petra, Jordan in hopes of hiding out for 7 years, but the plane is hijacked to Los Angeles. Eventually they make their way to Burbank Studios where 10 Presidents of Major Networks have just given their power to Antichrist for one hour in exchange for coming up with hit game show that will save their networks' flagging ratings. Antichrist, being the creative genius he is, comes up with "666 Ways to Mispronounce Apocalypse" Tag: Pronounce it right and win a free all-expenses-paid one-way trip to Petra Jordan (round-trip not needed as Jesus will fly you back "without a plane" at the end of the Tribulation). It sounds right up their alley so they apply to get on the game show.

During the taping the group chooses their leader, Drizzle to be the first contestant. The MC asks him to pronounce Apocalypse, but nerves get the best of Drizzle and it comes out "A Pox on Your Lips".

OUCH! Too bad. Now Drizzle must choose between three doors. One has the trip to Petra behind it. The other two have booby prizes. Nervously, Drizzle looks at his compadres for suggestions. They scream, "Door Number Three! Door Number Three", thinking three is a lucky number. But Antichrist is too clever for them and has anticipated that contestants even remotely interested in flying to a hell-hole like Petra have to be Christians and would likely choose door #3 because of the number's association with all things Christian. He's deftly hidden a booby prize behind door #3. When the curtain goes up all the audience gasps. There on a table sits a bottle of "Behead and Shoulders Shampoo".

Zoiiiiiiing!

The "gotcha" buzzer sounds. Henchmen of AC come out to lead Drizzle away. The irony of having won a bottle of shampoo with the odd name "Behead and Shoulders" is not lost on Drizzle. He and his friends have been reading for weeks that AC has come up with a novel new way to behead his enemies: his henchmen keep shampooing their victim's hair until all the rubbing has worn the victim's head down to his shoulders. Dejected, Drizzle is led away to face the executioner who, not surprisingly, is the best coiffures artist in the city. Drizzle takes comfort in the fact, however, that at least he's found a permanent solution to his lifelong psoriasis problem.

Watch for Volume 2 of "Left Behind the 8-Ball" : "Jolly Old St. Nicolae" coming soon to a bookstore near you.
Brilliant thrillobyte, LOVE IT! Can't wait for the 2nd volume...

P.S. I enjoyed John Erving's "Hotel New Hampshire"
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Old 07-06-2010, 03:53 PM
 
7,374 posts, read 7,408,785 times
Reputation: 895
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I mean, why should I let Lahayne and Jenkins corner the rapture fiction market and make all that bread for themselves?

I'm going to call my series "Left Behind the 8-Ball"

The main plot will focus on 7 diverse individuals who try to make their way to Petra, Jordan so the Antichrist can't get his hands on them before the Second Coming.

First Novel in the Series: "Tribulation Farce". The plot will introduce the seven characters, who through various quirks and questionable lifestyle choices find themselves....well, Left Behind after the rapture. They board a plane bound for Petra, Jordan in hopes of hiding out for 7 years, but the plane is hijacked to Los Angeles. Eventually they make their way to Burbank Studios where 10 Presidents of Major Networks have just given their power to Antichrist for one hour in exchange for coming up with hit game show that will save their networks' flagging ratings. Antichrist, being the creative genius he is, comes up with "666 Ways to Mispronounce Apocalypse" Tag: Pronounce it right and win a free all-expenses-paid one-way trip to Petra Jordan (round-trip not needed as Jesus will fly you back "without a plane" at the end of the Tribulation). It sounds right up their alley so they apply to get on the game show.

During the taping the group chooses their leader, Drizzle to be the first contestant. The MC asks him to pronounce Apocalypse, but nerves get the best of Drizzle and it comes out "A Pox on Your Lips".

OUCH! Too bad. Now Drizzle must choose between three doors. One has the trip to Petra behind it. The other two have booby prizes. Nervously, Drizzle looks at his compadres for suggestions. They scream, "Door Number Three! Door Number Three", thinking three is a lucky number. But Antichrist is too clever for them and has anticipated that contestants even remotely interested in flying to a hell-hole like Petra have to be Christians and would likely choose door #3 because of the number's association with all things Christian. He's deftly hidden a booby prize behind door #3. When the curtain goes up all the audience gasps. There on a table sits a bottle of "Behead and Shoulders Shampoo".

Zoiiiiiiing!

The "gotcha" buzzer sounds. Henchmen of AC come out to lead Drizzle away. The irony of having won a bottle of shampoo with the odd name "Behead and Shoulders" is not lost on Drizzle. He and his friends have been reading for weeks that AC has come up with a novel new way to behead his enemies: his henchmen keep shampooing their victim's hair until all the rubbing has worn the victim's head down to his shoulders. Dejected, Drizzle is led away to face the executioner who, not surprisingly, is the best coiffures artist in the city. Drizzle takes comfort in the fact, however, that at least he's found a permanent solution to his lifelong psoriasis problem.

Watch for Volume 2 of "Left Behind the 8-Ball" : "Jolly Old St. Nicolae" coming soon to a bookstore near you.
*chuckles*

That is pretty clever Thrillobyte ... I'm impressed. Did you write that yourself?

I actually hope that the rapture is true ... But only God knows the time, so ...

Nevertheless that was amusing, thanks!
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Seattle, Wa
5,302 posts, read 5,439,269 times
Reputation: 420
I can't wait for the release.....will it be soon?
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:18 PM
 
11,272 posts, read 11,290,108 times
Reputation: 3474
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ironmaw1776 View Post
Did you write that yourself?
Oh yeah, this silly stuff is usually worming its way through my brain while I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep. Believe me, the rapture is perfect fodder for this kind of parody.
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:19 PM
 
139 posts, read 172,135 times
Reputation: 44
lol.. funny
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Old 07-06-2010, 04:21 PM
 
11,272 posts, read 11,290,108 times
Reputation: 3474
Quote:
Originally Posted by sciotamicks View Post
I can't wait for the release.....will it be soon?
Soon....unless the rapture gets me first! Maybe there are bookstores in heaven.
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Old 07-06-2010, 05:03 PM
 
Location: US
27,998 posts, read 15,087,733 times
Reputation: 1754
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
I mean, why should I let Lahayne and Jenkins corner the rapture fiction market and make all that bread for themselves?

I'm going to call my series "Left Behind the 8-Ball"

The main plot will focus on 7 diverse individuals who try to make their way to Petra, Jordan so the Antichrist can't get his hands on them before the Second Coming.

First Novel in the Series: "Tribulation Farce". The plot will introduce the seven characters, who through various quirks and questionable lifestyle choices find themselves....well, Left Behind after the rapture. They board a plane bound for Petra, Jordan in hopes of hiding out for 7 years, but the plane is hijacked to Los Angeles. Eventually they make their way to Burbank Studios where 10 Presidents of Major Networks have just given their power to Antichrist for one hour in exchange for coming up with hit game show that will save their networks' flagging ratings. Antichrist, being the creative genius he is, comes up with "666 Ways to Mispronounce Apocalypse" Tag: Pronounce it right and win a free all-expenses-paid one-way trip to Petra Jordan (round-trip not needed as Jesus will fly you back "without a plane" at the end of the Tribulation). It sounds right up their alley so they apply to get on the game show.

During the taping the group chooses their leader, Drizzle to be the first contestant. The MC asks him to pronounce Apocalypse, but nerves get the best of Drizzle and it comes out "A Pox on Your Lips".

OUCH! Too bad. Now Drizzle must choose between three doors. One has the trip to Petra behind it. The other two have booby prizes. Nervously, Drizzle looks at his compadres for suggestions. They scream, "Door Number Three! Door Number Three", thinking three is a lucky number. But Antichrist is too clever for them and has anticipated that contestants even remotely interested in flying to a hell-hole like Petra have to be Christians and would likely choose door #3 because of the number's association with all things Christian. He's deftly hidden a booby prize behind door #3. When the curtain goes up all the audience gasps. There on a table sits a bottle of "Behead and Shoulders Shampoo".

Zoiiiiiiing!

The "gotcha" buzzer sounds. Henchmen of AC come out to lead Drizzle away. The irony of having won a bottle of shampoo with the odd name "Behead and Shoulders" is not lost on Drizzle. He and his friends have been reading for weeks that AC has come up with a novel new way to behead his enemies: his henchmen keep shampooing their victim's hair until all the rubbing has worn the victim's head down to his shoulders. Dejected, Drizzle is led away to face the executioner who, not surprisingly, is the best coiffures artist in the city. Drizzle takes comfort in the fact, however, that at least he's found a permanent solution to his lifelong psoriasis problem.

Watch for Volume 2 of "Left Behind the 8-Ball" : "Jolly Old St. Nicolae" coming soon to a bookstore near you.
You had to have been giggling your ass off writing this...lol...
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Old 07-06-2010, 07:25 PM
 
697 posts, read 914,641 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
Maybe there are bookstores in heaven.
I hope so!
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Old 07-06-2010, 08:33 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,965 posts, read 5,767,037 times
Reputation: 1595
Clever and entertaining stuff, Thrillobyte.
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