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Old 07-18-2010, 09:32 AM
 
Location: Nowhere'sville
2,345 posts, read 3,904,112 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by katjonjj View Post
LOL I was thinking the same thing when I read that scenario.. Women are all DIVAS and want their own way... however that doesn't mean women HAVE to have their way...but it's worth a shot, or two.


There is, however, a fine line between being ordered around and being led.

I disagree a little tho: If one spouse feels it would benefit the family to move but the other one doesn't (whether family or just comfort) then they must as two parts of a whole weigh the pros and cons together and make a unified decision. This is assuming of course that both have the mental capacity to do so... if not a counselor/third party would be the way to go, IMO.



Legally I think some states allow it but within a certain timeframe.. but nonetheless, even if she did want children then what is to say she/he won't change their mind after being married for a while?

However, in defense of Thrill's position there are 4 verses in Proverbs which state that living with a contentious wife is not fun.

Gee I'd be a little contentious too if I had to be ordered around like a dog and "led" like an incompetent 2 year old.
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Old 07-18-2010, 12:08 PM
 
2,798 posts, read 3,674,416 times
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Well the question on the house is an easy one.....I would assume that if the house is so expensive that you are worried the 'two' of you cant afford it then I would assume she can't qualify for a loan for it on her own.If she in fact 'can' then tell her go ahead,buy it,put it solely in her name....and pay for it herself.If you get divorced its one less thing to fight about...the house and the resulting debt are hers.Plenty of couples don't have joint debt........depending on the responsibility level of the people involved that can be a very good thing.

The relocating thing is a tough one...both sides cant win.You have to decide whether living where you want is worth possibly getting divorced over.You can move and she'll either come along and possibly be mad about it for the rest of the marriage or she'll stay,[perhaps in the house she bought herself],and the marriage will be over as a practical matter.You can stay put....and possibly resent her for the rest of the marriage for choosing to be close to mommy over your happiness.Questions about 'where we want to live' should always be discussed 'before' the marriage,although it isnt unusual for one party to say what the other wants to hear to 'close the deal' only to want out of the agreement once thet are married.

The 'having kids thing'should also be broached before marriage...but the fact she doesnt want any now doesnt mean she wont next year....or even next week.In the case of the op there are far too many other problems currently in the dynamics of the relationship to even consider having any children at the moment anyway.Having a 'home' and being able to afford that home are important issues to resolve before adding to the family.
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Old 07-18-2010, 01:12 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 30,754,930 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
You can bet on the line Christ expects all Christian husbands to be willing to sacrifice their lives to save their wives' and if a husband, Christian or not is not willing then he's not even a human being, much less a man. At the very least he does not love his wife and I'd dump him like yesterday's garbage.
If he does not love his wife like Christ loved the church, he's going to be hard pressed to get her to follow him. Lord knows that we don't always follow Christ and he is perfect and always has our best interest at heart.

And I think people really misinterpret this letting men lead thing. It's not making my husband the boss of me. It's making him responsible for me. My husband is expected to make decisions that take care of all of us. Those are the decisions I'm supposed to follow. Not because I can't make those kinds of decisons but because God made him responsible. It's not me beneath him, but him being held responsible for taking care of me. Seriously, a boat has to have one captain or there will be mutiny but it is very clear that this captain is supposed to care so much for his crew he'd die for them. A captain who cares that much is making good decisions for all parties involved and worthy of following.

Why do men forget that before we can allow them to lead they must first become worthy of leading. People always want to use these verses to put the cart before the horse. Following doesn't come first. Leading does and to lead, he must take responsibility and be willing to die for his family.
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Old 07-18-2010, 01:23 PM
 
7,813 posts, read 10,707,854 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
Even welcome it?
Thrill, you crack the June up!

~But for the record: Despite our (rarely, if ever!) agreeing with one another (has that EVER happened?) June welcomes your posts! (And loves your sense of humor.)
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Old 07-18-2010, 02:03 PM
 
Location: Seattle, Washington
8,435 posts, read 8,675,562 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniMae1 View Post
Gee I'd be a little contentious too if I had to be ordered around like a dog and "led" like an incompetent 2 year old.
That's why you should always give your wife what she wants ... or pretend to try to.
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Old 07-18-2010, 02:50 PM
 
Location: Florida
592 posts, read 651,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrillobyte View Post
What if a wife refuses to obey her husband in important decisions, says she's going to do what she wants, and this is detrimental to the relationship? Would this be grounds for the husband to divorce her? If not, then how can the marriage function properly when one spouse is in constant rebellion?
Where is the wife to defend herself? Does she know her other half is asking others about her?
Is this more separation?
These are questions that need to be asked. It's really not any different than me telling someone about another and not going to the first.

God Bless,
Mercy
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Old 07-18-2010, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Midwest
31,376 posts, read 19,640,158 times
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You two should divorce. You and her do not share the same values. You should have realized this long before you married her.

Moderator cut: deleted

Last edited by june 7th; 07-18-2010 at 03:22 PM.. Reason: Rude
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Old 07-19-2010, 12:38 PM
 
11,261 posts, read 11,276,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by june 7th View Post
Thrill, you crack the June up!

~But for the record: Despite our (rarely, if ever!) agreeing with one another (has that EVER happened?) June welcomes your posts! (And loves your sense of humor.)
Thrill knows, June, and Thrill greatly appreciates.

I can't help throwing out those nonessential nonessentials when they pop into my warped mind.
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Old 07-19-2010, 05:41 PM
 
365 posts, read 437,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jojajn View Post
You two should divorce. You and her do not share the same values. You should have realized this long before you married her.

Moderator cut: deleted
They should not divorce unless adultery has been committed by either one of them.

Follow God or men on this matter. The choice is yours.

Malachi 2:16: “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.”

Matthew 19:9 says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman COMMITS ADULTERY."

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.
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Old 07-19-2010, 09:29 PM
 
Location: Nowhere'sville
2,345 posts, read 3,904,112 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PurpleHeart View Post
They should not divorce unless adultery has been committed by either one of them.

Follow God or men on this matter. The choice is yours.

Malachi 2:16: I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.

Matthew 19:9 says, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman COMMITS ADULTERY."

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

I choose man cause this god had ridiculous burdensome rules.
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