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If you are gay and wish to not be gay anymore, leaving the lifestyle and pretending you're not gay won't change a thing. Is it possible that you just don't like the lifestyle you fell into? Being gay doesn't automatically condemn you to a life of addiction, obsession, promiscuity - those are all choices that have nothing to do with being gay or straight. Deciding to be straight, if you're not, will be a waste of time. Instead, if you are gay, find your way out of that lifestyle - the one you don't like. Get therapy to stop being co-dependent & obsessive, get rid of your addictions. Create your OWN life - however you want it to be. Lead a clean & monogamous & Christian life if you want to. That doesn't preclude being gay or having a male partner. There are other men out there who wish to lead the same kind of life and would be good for you. There are churches in which you will be accepted completely and welcomed, where you can volunteer, worship, learn, and lead a Christian lifestyle.
On the other hand, if you truly are straight and honestly do feel that you were mistaken in your belief that you were gay, then there is no reason to worry about it. You're not comfortable with the life you've been living - so if you're a straight man, there is no reason you can't find a relationship with a woman who will join you in partnership as a monogamous, clean-living, Christian couple. Many people have experimented in their past - with drugs, sex, etc. You don't have to feel like you did something unforgivable and filthy. The attitude you take is key to how others will react. If people find out, just shrug it off... "yeah, I experimented a bit, but it wasn't for me." If you truly ARE straight and you truly do not feel any sexual attraction to men, it shouldn't be difficult to leave that part of your past behind. Find the male bonding you need on some kind of team - it doesn't have to be a violent sport. Join an active men's group at church or in your community, one in which you are out doing things, working together on something. If you get married, bond with other husbands of your wife's friends. If you truly aren't sexually attracted to men, you ought to be able to enjoy this with no problem.
But if you are gay, and you are regretting some actions & situations, and you want to retreat into being straight because it's more socially acceptable, all you're going to do is end up miserable, not to mention breaking some poor woman's heart who doesn't deserve it.
If you are gay and wish to not be gay anymore, leaving the lifestyle and pretending you're not gay won't change a thing. Is it possible that you just don't like the lifestyle you fell into? Being gay doesn't automatically condemn you to a life of addiction, obsession, promiscuity - those are all choices that have nothing to do with being gay or straight. Deciding to be straight, if you're not, will be a waste of time. Instead, if you are gay, find your way out of that lifestyle - the one you don't like. Get therapy to stop being co-dependent & obsessive, get rid of your addictions. Create your OWN life - however you want it to be. Lead a clean & monogamous & Christian life if you want to. That doesn't preclude being gay or having a male partner. There are other men out there who wish to lead the same kind of life and would be good for you. There are churches in which you will be accepted completely and welcomed, where you can volunteer, worship, learn, and lead a Christian lifestyle.
On the other hand, if you truly are straight and honestly do feel that you were mistaken in your belief that you were gay, then there is no reason to worry about it. You're not comfortable with the life you've been living - so if you're a straight man, there is no reason you can't find a relationship with a woman who will join you in partnership as a monogamous, clean-living, Christian couple. Many people have experimented in their past - with drugs, sex, etc. You don't have to feel like you did something unforgivable and filthy. The attitude you take is key to how others will react. If people find out, just shrug it off... "yeah, I experimented a bit, but it wasn't for me." If you truly ARE straight and you truly do not feel any sexual attraction to men, it shouldn't be difficult to leave that part of your past behind. Find the male bonding you need on some kind of team - it doesn't have to be a violent sport. Join an active men's group at church or in your community, one in which you are out doing things, working together on something. If you get married, bond with other husbands of your wife's friends. If you truly aren't sexually attracted to men, you ought to be able to enjoy this with no problem.
But if you are gay, and you are regretting some actions & situations, and you want to retreat into being straight because it's more socially acceptable, all you're going to do is end up miserable, not to mention breaking some poor woman's heart who doesn't deserve it.
What I wanted is a man to hug me, hold me, be there for me, NOT have sex with me.
I wish that you could find this, but I have to say in all honesty, I doubt that you will, at least in modern American society. It's easier for us women, but the typical male seems to be afraid of non-sexual physical affection with other men and consciously avoids any hugging or holding of another man beyond a quick chest bump & back pat, if that.
Please feel free to contact me privately if you need a friend who won't judge you or try to persuade you either way. I'm a gay-friendly straight woman with no agenda either way.
This is for all the religious people who take every available opportunity to put the gay man down..This is for the people who call him an abomination, a vile sinner looking for an eternity of a torturous hell. For those who take old covenant scripture and twist it to say whatever they desire it to say to validate their self righteousness.
This is what happened just last night and early this morning here in our community..There is a gay man who is a charge nurse at our local hospital who is now in a catatonic state at a mental health care center. Last evening he left a note on our hospital administrators desk apologizing for any harm he had brought to the hospital employees, patients and everyone else who knew he was gay..He got married, had a child and tried his best to live as a heterosexual just like so many other gay men are pretty much forced to do..He attended a church here and listened to the hate spewed from the pulpit and members of the evilness of homosexuality. Eventually he and his wife divorced..People soon learned the reason for the divorce and he has endured, quietly for several years..Inside he was a broken person who must have believed the crap he was forced to endure for so many years..You know if a person is told over and over that he is an abomination in the mind of God , eventually you will begin to believe it.
Back to what happened to him..The hospital administrator and some of the employees formed a posse along with the police and began combing the mountains surrounding the hospital..They found him early this morning in a remote area he was very cold from the frost covered trees and underbrush and unresponsive to voice or touch and recognized no one. A length of rope made into a noose lay at his feet.
I wonder if God is pleased with the ones who brought about this sad situation and the hundreds of other successful suicides each year.
Shame on the ones who did this to this man and shame on the ones who claim to know what God says, thinks or will do. And shame on the ones who keep God within the confines of the bible where they can control everything by scrambling, twisting and fitting the words there to their own desire. I think the Westboro Baptist church has more members than the ones wearing the signs saying "God hates ****".
Maybe you need to find your own self worth before you go claiming that you know what everyone else needs.
We are not filthy rags. We are God's greatest creations who He absolutely adores and loves beyond all imaginings.
I'd suggest you move away from organized religions but you live in fear so I'll leave you to it.
Because of God's love, is the reason we are still here. He keeps giving us chances because of His love and mercy on us. He even offered His best, his Son, and yet many reject His Son. God's Word tells us that we need a savior. If you don't believe it or won't accept that. Then I have no problem with that. I have done what I was supposed to do. Also, I don't live in fear. I live in the truth of God's Word.
I quoted from Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean [thing], and all our righteousnesses [are] as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.
The filthy rag I referred to literally means as a woman's menstrual rag. We are all infected and impure with sin. When we proudly display our righteous deeds, we find they are but filthy rags (even to God). Like autumn leaves, we wither and fall. And our sins, like the wind, sweep us away. That's why we can't think that we are so righteous. What happens is that pride sets in, and then we don't think that we need a savior.
Organized religion didn't reveal that to me, as you assumed. God did through His Holy Word and help of His Holy Spirit. Do you read the bible?
In one place the scriptures seem to condemn homosexuality as translated into English, in another place it seems to be embracing the "relationship" between two men. It is my own personal opinion that the English Bible cannot be trusted....there are too many contradictions.
Curious .........where \ which ones?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ilene Wright
That's just what I believe. Other than the story of Jesus Christ, I'm not taking anything at face value until I've studied the original languages. I'm still studying this but it infuriates me that you and ILNC tag team to deliberately condemn when you haven't even bothered to listen to what these people are saying. They are struggling, and they need love and need to be listened to. Are their supposed sins any greater than yours? No, I think not.
This is about the truth ....and that's what infuriates you. Our "tag team" is deliberatly holding to the truth which parts of "the story of Jesus Christ" doesn't fit your new "enlightenment".
"the story of Jesus Christ" includes: Revelation 20:10-14 John 3:36
and Paul was taught "the story of Jesus Christ" by Jesus himself
\\\\\\\\\\\\ Unlawful sexual relations ///////////////
One of which was:
Leviticus 18:22
'Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.'....
Leviticus 18:24-28 " 'Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you."
If you are gay and wish to not be gay anymore, leaving the lifestyle and pretending you're not gay won't change a thing. Is it possible that you just don't like the lifestyle you fell into? Being gay doesn't automatically condemn you to a life of addiction, obsession, promiscuity - those are all choices that have nothing to do with being gay or straight. Deciding to be straight, if you're not, will be a waste of time. Instead, if you are gay, find your way out of that lifestyle - the one you don't like. Get therapy to stop being co-dependent & obsessive, get rid of your addictions. Create your OWN life - however you want it to be. Lead a clean & monogamous & Christian life if you want to. That doesn't preclude being gay or having a male partner. There are other men out there who wish to lead the same kind of life and would be good for you. There are churches in which you will be accepted completely and welcomed, where you can volunteer, worship, learn, and lead a Christian lifestyle.
On the other hand, if you truly are straight and honestly do feel that you were mistaken in your belief that you were gay, then there is no reason to worry about it. You're not comfortable with the life you've been living - so if you're a straight man, there is no reason you can't find a relationship with a woman who will join you in partnership as a monogamous, clean-living, Christian couple. Many people have experimented in their past - with drugs, sex, etc. You don't have to feel like you did something unforgivable and filthy. The attitude you take is key to how others will react. If people find out, just shrug it off... "yeah, I experimented a bit, but it wasn't for me." If you truly ARE straight and you truly do not feel any sexual attraction to men, it shouldn't be difficult to leave that part of your past behind. Find the male bonding you need on some kind of team - it doesn't have to be a violent sport. Join an active men's group at church or in your community, one in which you are out doing things, working together on something. If you get married, bond with other husbands of your wife's friends. If you truly aren't sexually attracted to men, you ought to be able to enjoy this with no problem.
But if you are gay, and you are regretting some actions & situations, and you want to retreat into being straight because it's more socially acceptable, all you're going to do is end up miserable, not to mention breaking some poor woman's heart who doesn't deserve it.
Very great advice. I firmly believe that I was not gay to begin with but was led into the lifestyle because of other emotional issues I have. My experience has led me to firmly believe both homophobia and militant gay activism are both detrimental to the health of our society and young people. Gay activists would say that if you have any attraction whatsoever to the same sex that you are gay...whether that attraction is sexual or not. They say that through time or therapy you can become more comfortable with your gay self and those sexual desires will manifest. This is what my ex-roommate used to tell me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EmeraldUndeniable
I wish that you could find this, but I have to say in all honesty, I doubt that you will, at least in modern American society. It's easier for us women, but the typical male seems to be afraid of non-sexual physical affection with other men and consciously avoids any hugging or holding of another man beyond a quick chest bump & back pat, if that.
This is where homophobia hurts us all. The reason men today are so afraid of non-sexual affection with their male peers is because they don't want anybody to think they are gay because of the stigma that will attach to them. When you do see physical affection among straight men in our society, its almost always meant to be a comedic thing. Male bonding is a healthy thing, its even scriptural. Its very sad that it is so discouraged in our society because it "might look gay". As I have said before, there are other nations and cultures that allow non-sexual affection between men, and interestingly enough those cultures have far fewer truly homosexual men. I wonder how many affection-starved young men like myself are led into a homosexual lifestyle because they see it as the only way in this society to find anything close to what they desire...even though they initially have no sexual attraction to the same sex.
i can't pretend to understand the life of the OP. but, I can certainly understand how scary it can be to leave a social group. an ironic parallel is that some of your feelings i shared when i decided to "out" myself as a non-christian. my entire existence from coming-of-age onward had been defined by faith-related social groups. all of my friends. the music i listened to. how i interpreted the world. ultimately i had to be honest with myself and who i was. i kept my dear friends and lost many others. many years later, i now finally have completely honest friendships and more than enough people in my life. what seemed like a mountain at the time (breaking from the christian community) turned out to not be such a big deal and i couldn't imagine my life any other way now, it was probably the best decision i ever made.
my point is that it is hard to judge how true friendships are when there is any kind of "barrier to entry." you can have christian friends that do young life and praise songs but the implied barrier to entry is that at some point you have to believe what they do. i imagine the LGBT community has a similar implied barrier to entry.
it is worth saying that none of my gay friends are "active in the LGBT community." they just live a regular life like i do. similarly, i am meeting many christians who hold strong personal beliefs but don't insulate themselves among those with the same beliefs. this is important to think about.
best wishes as you try to figure out who you are. the most important thing is to be true to yourself.
Whether it's homosexuality or any other sin, we had better humble ourselves before God to receive the truth. If not, this is what God says:
2 Thes. 2
[11] And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:
[12] That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
That's right. God will send a strong delusion to them who don't want to hear the truth; they want their ears tickled.
This is what god says, HOW, exactly? Details, please.
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