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This was the topic of discussion this morning at the Church where I have been attending recently. We were asked to close our eyes in prayer and to think of someone that had hurt or wronged us and to envision forgiving that individual. We do not necessarily have to forget but to forgive.
Then the Pastor asked us if there was anyone that we may need to seek their forgiveness in something that we may have done to cause someone hurt or pain.
I personally have done a lot of forgiving in my life and it has been wonderful to let go of the anger and resentment. I did leave church however this morning thinking that there is one person in my life and that our relationship could certainly use some forgiveness with each other. This person is my brother. I think we have grown apart over the years and it saddens me and my pride keeps me from trying to make amends. I feel a lot of pain and sometimes anger in my life because of this. I believe in my heart that down deep he would like to be closer to me as well.
I think I need to nurture this relationship in the New Year and it will not be easy for me but I really want to try. I think I heard God plant this seed into my heart this morning.
Is there anyone that you need to forgive? Do you need someone to forgive you?
Perhaps you just simply said something nasty to a CD forum friend J
EPHESIANS 4:32 NKJ
32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
COLOSSIANS 3:13 NKJ
13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.
God not only forgave you, but gave you His life and love on the inside. So, He expects you to act like Him -- and forgive. God forgave you; now you must forgive yourself, and others -- even when they have done wrong.
The one person that I need to forgive, I'm not allowed to talk to. I'm working on the forgiveness, though. Even if he never knows it - I think I'll feel better if I know I've forgiven him.
Hmm... I just read what I wrote - maybe I should clarify. Right now it sounds like this person has a protection order against me or something!!! I had a best friend whose fiancee (and now wife) told him he could never see me again. So he ended our friendship because his fiancee was jealous of me. It crushed me and I've harbored ill feelings toward them ever since. Since I'm not allowed to have any contact with them - I can't forgive them to their faces or even on the phone, but I can let go of the anger and hurt in my heart. I've been working on this for a long time. I think I'm getting closer...
Nice thread SisterKat and it's nice to see you posting again. You know I have had to forgive a lot of people in my life.....I'm not sure if I'm completely there yet with a few of them but I know I'm closer than I used to be. It's not really the forgiving part I struggle with, it's the forgetting. Once I forgive I want to forget too. But have you noticed that some people won't allow you to forget? They just keep rubbing salt into those deep wounds like they derive some sort of pleasure from it. Forgiving is so much more than just "forgiving".....it's also being able to deal with the memories of the hurt.
There are four people in my life that I have forgiven but they refuse to apologize or forgive me. Is it enough that we forgive them in our hearts or do we have to tell them to their faces? That seems to be the most difficult thing for people, although I have admitted my wrongs and apologized it seems I can't get the same in return. It's so sad to go through our short lives not being able to forgive. Granted, some people are just toxic and we have to forgive and cut them out of our lives, I had to do that. But how do you forget? Oh how I wish parents would realize the scars they can leave on their children by what they say and what they do....it's imperative to love unconditionally and to have an open heart and mind and listen to your children.
Forgiveness is sooooo important for our own mental and physical well being. Have you ever noticed the health problems that an unforgiving person has? It manifests itself that way. It literally eats away at your mind, body and spirit and stunts your growth as a human being. I may do things that harm me personally and physically such as smoking and drinking on occasion but mentally.....whew......I'm free as free can be!! Praise God for His forgiveness and showing us how to do the same!
Thanks for the thread, SisterKat. What a wonderful idea.
I have forgiven all but one person in my life. Me. And it's because of only one person. My mother. I have forgiven her but I cannot find the forgiveness in my own heart for her not being a mother. It's the hardest thing I feel I can do right now. I have never felt the warmth and caring of a mother. The joy of sharing and the intimate talks that one shares. She was just a figure in my life and I find as I get older that it causes me to stumble and fall more often than I should. As I raise my own son, I feel over and over again the joys of him in my life. I share everything and comfort and grow with him. I can't imagine my own mother wanting that while I was growing up. Just being in her presence was not enough for her to love me. I feel as if I was a burden that she couldn't be rid of. As each day awakens, I feel less and less her child even though she raised me. It's like another world that I just happened to view for a time. So, while I have forgiven her, I can't forgive myself for the abandonment. I know without a doubt that I deserve her love yet I know that I have spiritual mothers who are there for me at all times. I hope that someday I will be able to let go and move on but until then, I will struggle with the missing link that a mother and daughter should share.
Forgiveness is a frequent message that is delivered to our mediums. I know how important it is as we progress through this and our spiritual life. Without forgiveness, we stagnate and don't grow beyond the point that forgiveness is not given. So many forgive others yet very few forgive themselves. In my own progression, I know I will have a wall to climb and for now, I have to learn to just let go. It's hard though. Maybe this thread is what I need so I can work through this now instead of later.
I was thinking..
How much of our difficulty in forgiving comes from something within us; and how much of it comes from the culture we have grown up in, telling us who, how and when to forgive?
If we have known the forgiveness of God in our hearts, are we then not better able to forgive others?
"Jesus died to pay the ransom for ALL." 1 Tim. 2.6 I was reflecting on this scripture earlier today. How wonderful, to be freely forgiven and set free!
If Christ has set all mankind free, then who are we to hold others in the bondage of unforgiveness??
The one person that I need to forgive, I'm not allowed to talk to. I'm working on the forgiveness, though. Even if he never knows it - I think I'll feel better if I know I've forgiven him.
Hmm... I just read what I wrote - maybe I should clarify. Right now it sounds like this person has a protection order against me or something!!! I had a best friend whose fiancee (and now wife) told him he could never see me again. So he ended our friendship because his fiancee was jealous of me. It crushed me and I've harbored ill feelings toward them ever since. Since I'm not allowed to have any contact with them - I can't forgive them to their faces or even on the phone, but I can let go of the anger and hurt in my heart. I've been working on this for a long time. I think I'm getting closer...
Hi Dewdrop. Wow what a very sad way to lose a good friend. I have a few close male friends as well and thank goodness our friendship was never forced to end in such a way. Are you not married Dewdrop? She sounds like she is not secure in here love that they share? If you are married you would think that she would not feel so threatened? I can understand that you are angry I guess at her for forcing the issue and for him for letting it happen.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I guess when they don't last a lifetime we have to learn to figure out what we did in fact learn from them, cherish the memories and move forward.
Hi Dewdrop. Wow what a very sad way to lose a good friend. I have a few close male friends as well and thank goodness our friendship was never forced to end in such a way. Are you not married Dewdrop? She sounds like she is not secure in here love that they share? If you are married you would think that she would not feel so threatened? I can understand that you are angry I guess at her for forcing the issue and for him for letting it happen.
People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I guess when they don't last a lifetime we have to learn to figure out what we did in fact learn from them, cherish the memories and move forward.
Hi Kat! I'm married now but I wasn't married then. And in the fiancee's defense, my friend did have feelings for me for a few years. However, he had gotten over me by the time they started dating. The thing is - I can understand her not trusting me. I'm not saying I'm not trustworthy - I am - but she didn't know me that well. What I don't think was okay was her not trusting him. If you are going to marry someone - you better darn well trust them! I trust my husband more than anyone else. Even if he had a friend that I thought might have feelings for him - I still trust my husband. And I didn't have feelings for her fiance - I just loved him as a friend. They are still married but I have a feeling he is not allowed to have many female friends. It makes me sad for him - and for her. It can't be easy being in a relationship where you don't trust your spouse. When I think of things like that - it helps me to forgive a little bit more. But it's still hard to get over one of your best friends completely severing your friendship forever. But I know that when I am able to forgive them 100% - I will feel like a weight has been lifted off my heart.
After reading the other posts on here - I realize how lucky I am to have such wonderful friends and family. I'm so sorry for the hurts that everyone else has had to endure. I hope you all find peace.
Nice thread SisterKat and it's nice to see you posting again. You know I have had to forgive a lot of people in my life.....I'm not sure if I'm completely there yet with a few of them but I know I'm closer than I used to be. It's not really the forgiving part I struggle with, it's the forgetting. Once I forgive I want to forget too. But have you noticed that some people won't allow you to forget? They just keep rubbing salt into those deep wounds like they derive some sort of pleasure from it. Forgiving is so much more than just "forgiving".....it's also being able to deal with the memories of the hurt.
There are four people in my life that I have forgiven but they refuse to apologize or forgive me. Is it enough that we forgive them in our hearts or do we have to tell them to their faces? That seems to be the most difficult thing for people, although I have admitted my wrongs and apologized it seems I can't get the same in return. It's so sad to go through our short lives not being able to forgive. Granted, some people are just toxic and we have to forgive and cut them out of our lives, I had to do that. But how do you forget? Oh how I wish parents would realize the scars they can leave on their children by what they say and what they do....it's imperative to love unconditionally and to have an open heart and mind and listen to your children.
Forgiveness is sooooo important for our own mental and physical well being. Have you ever noticed the health problems that an unforgiving person has? It manifests itself that way. It literally eats away at your mind, body and spirit and stunts your growth as a human being. I may do things that harm me personally and physically such as smoking and drinking on occasion but mentally.....whew......I'm free as free can be!! Praise God for His forgiveness and showing us how to do the same!
Interesting the Pastor told us we should focus on forgiveness but that we do not have to forget. For me I had to forgive my Mother for many terrible situations that she allowed me to be in as a very young child. I never have forgotten what happened BUT how I was able to forgive her was to understand that her very own Mother (my Grandma) died a few days after giving birth to my Mom and my Mom never had a loving Mother and was not treated well also as a youngster. In order for me to break that cycle I needed to forgive her but not to forget so by not forgetting I realized what was necessary for me to be a better role model than my Mother was for my children. Was I a perfect Mother? Heck no, but my children came first in my life and still do I hope that this makes sense?
Yes, I agree that when we harbour ill feelings, resentment, anger, etc. it can play havoc on our immune system.
My brother always has judged me in my life as we were brought up Catholic and I am now divorced. I divorced for the sake of my children and have no regrets. My ex is actually continuing to decline. My children had an intervention with him (alcoholism) a few months ago and we have been apart for 12 years. I get very angry with my brother as he does not see the good inside of me and as my love for God has grown and blossomed the past 10 years it has changed me and I can honestly say that I care very much for my friends and family and I go out of my way to be there for others no matter how busy I am. I know that I am a child of God and I will not allow others to judge me any longer.
BUT..... I still feel bad that my brother and I are not closer and I feel God nudging at me to reach out and close that gap. To forgive him and to see if he can forgive me and maybe to admit that I perhaps played a part in the wall between us. One of my negatives is that I am proud and stubborn at times
As far as those that keep trying to salt your wounds..... pray.... pray that God's Love somehow may penetrate their souls.
Thanks for the thread, SisterKat. What a wonderful idea.
I have forgiven all but one person in my life. Me. And it's because of only one person. My mother. I have forgiven her but I cannot find the forgiveness in my own heart for her not being a mother. It's the hardest thing I feel I can do right now. I have never felt the warmth and caring of a mother. The joy of sharing and the intimate talks that one shares. She was just a figure in my life and I find as I get older that it causes me to stumble and fall more often than I should. As I raise my own son, I feel over and over again the joys of him in my life. I share everything and comfort and grow with him. I can't imagine my own mother wanting that while I was growing up. Just being in her presence was not enough for her to love me. I feel as if I was a burden that she couldn't be rid of. As each day awakens, I feel less and less her child even though she raised me. It's like another world that I just happened to view for a time. So, while I have forgiven her, I can't forgive myself for the abandonment. I know without a doubt that I deserve her love yet I know that I have spiritual mothers who are there for me at all times. I hope that someday I will be able to let go and move on but until then, I will struggle with the missing link that a mother and daughter should share.
Forgiveness is a frequent message that is delivered to our mediums. I know how important it is as we progress through this and our spiritual life. Without forgiveness, we stagnate and don't grow beyond the point that forgiveness is not given. So many forgive others yet very few forgive themselves. In my own progression, I know I will have a wall to climb and for now, I have to learn to just let go. It's hard though. Maybe this thread is what I need so I can work through this now instead of later.
Reverend.... I am so sorry to hear of your pain and the non existent relationship with your Mother. You will read from a post above to Ilene that I too did not have a loving Mother as a child. Interesting my Mom and I now have a much better relationship. We have NEVER discussed the past and I have never rubbed the salt in her wounds as I know she carries the pain inside of the things that took place. I know in my heart that she is sorry but she has never told me she is sorry for what happened. My Mom comes over now often and cleans my home and does anything she can to assist me and I believe this is her way of telling me that she is sorry and I have forgiven her a long time ago and forgiving her has been such a blessed experience for both of us.
Reverend....I hope that you can forgive yourself All of that Divine Love you have inside of your soul should do the trick
[quote=Ilene Wright;17068298] Is it enough that we forgive them in our hearts or do we have to tell them to their faces?
I also would like to mention my feelings with respect to this. I think it is enough to forgive within our hearts and we do not always have to come right out and say "I forgive you because >>>>>>" sometimes things are better left unsaid.
It all depends on the situation.... just my two cents
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reflections
