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Old 01-28-2011, 06:28 PM
 
213 posts, read 596,758 times
Reputation: 172

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I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
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Old 01-28-2011, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Florida
5,261 posts, read 6,242,597 times
Reputation: 837
Quote:
Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
...sincerely...you have the makings of a beautiful testimony...we gain an enormous compassion for others in the things we have experienced in our own lives. Keep the faith dear one...you are being tested and refined to be a blessing to someone else...mostly God... You are beautiful to God, and valuable...He obviously needs you to be right where you are for a purpose. He will never put more on you than He knows you can handle...He knows you can handle this sincere...and you have...and you will. Be strong...don't let go...great things are surely coming your way! (((HUGS)))

Love in Christ,
Verna.
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Old 01-28-2011, 08:08 PM
 
Location: Southern California
1,839 posts, read 1,715,584 times
Reputation: 212
Quote:
Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
One of the ways we can understand God is by getting close to Him... let Him become a part of your life and then He will tell you why these things happen to you. Maybe you think you have patience as you've prayed for this man so many years, only to have him want to take things slow... well, this is your test. Many of us want to have a relationship with a special person, but sometimes it isn't possible. But we can always have one with God... and when we pray for and receive His Divine Love in our soul... well, then we know what real Love is. Seek God first, and then everything else will be added unto you. Blessings.
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Old 01-28-2011, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,255 posts, read 10,036,962 times
Reputation: 15140
Default Really well stated!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCalAngel2009 View Post
One of the ways we can understand God is by getting close to Him... let Him become a part of your life and then He will tell you why these things happen to you. Maybe you think you have patience as you've prayed for this man so many years, only to have him want to take things slow... well, this is your test. Many of us want to have a relationship with a special person, but sometimes it isn't possible. But we can always have one with God... and when we pray for and receive His Divine Love in our soul... well, then we know what real Love is. Seek God first, and then everything else will be added unto you. Blessings.
Really a good response! The best relationships are Christ-centered! When Christ is in the center, the other parties in a relationship will to draw closer to each other ... as they draw closer to Him! (Imagine a Christian marriage/relationship as a triangle, with Christ at the apex and the husband/wife at the other two corners drawing closer to Christ ... and each other!)

(To the OP: -- I empathize with your feeling of loss, but wonder if the relationship with this high school sweetheart had not been allowed to grow into the most important relationship in your life.)
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Old 01-28-2011, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,078 posts, read 17,063,957 times
Reputation: 7707
I don't know why you started two threads on this but, since you did, I'll repost the response I left on the other one here too.


Looking back from the vantage point of 61 years, I can see things now which I did not understand at the time.

My life, like yours and everyone else's, has been a journey of pain, disappointment, fractured relationships, seemingly random events, unplanned detours, lost dreams, joys and loves, successes and failures; the whole gamut of human existance.

And, being a believer, I've asked those "why" questions a thousand times and never gotten the answer I wanted, when I wanted it. But, I knew all along that nothing in this universe can happen without God either directing it or allowing it to happen. If anything, including the details of my life, is out of His control, He isn't the God He claims to be and not worthy of my worship and service. But, it DID seem to be out of His control and I wrestled with that mightily. There were times when my faith hung by the most slender of threads, but I never quite stopped believing altogether.

Now, I can see it more clearly and can offer you this: I won't go into details about HOW I came to understand (it's a long story and would bore you), but there isn't the slightest doubt in my mind now that God had a purpose for all that and I know what it was. He was crafting my personality, weaving a tapestry of my life and genetics to make me usable for His service right now, doing the things He's got me doing. Without all that having happened to me, I would not today be the person I am and would not be serving Him in the capacity I find myself doing right now. Literally, I would not be suitable were it not for all those times I wondered why. I could explain it more completely, but it would only serve to invite more of the ridicule this post will already bring, so if you'd like to know more, PM me. I have no intention of disputing it with anyone.

The point is that you either trust God with your future, or you don't. If you hang onto the trust and surrender your will to His, somewhere down the road you'll find yourself in exactly the same place I am; doing a work for the Lord which you never foresaw and could not have planned for. But HE saw it and HE planned for it and your life experiences are the vehicle for creating the perfect worker in the field He wants you to work in.

I guarantee it.
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Old 01-28-2011, 10:11 PM
 
335 posts, read 314,950 times
Reputation: 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by sincere1782 View Post
I've always believed in God and his words, I've always been involved with the church and became a christian at a young age. So many things have happened in my life and i don't understand why. My mother died when i was 13, and i accepted it and moved on. it still affected my life but i still trust that in some way it was needed. Then i had a daughter, she has a disability, and if anyone knows, it is a difficult and hard thing to go through, because the thoughts and dreams of having a perfect child become a task of accepting things that she can do and being happy with how things are. So i accepted it, I love my child but often wonder out of all the things in the world..., so for years i've held on to the love of a boy well man now, that i dated in highschool, my highschool sweetheart. I never stopped loving him and just knew he was meant to be with me and it was those thoughts and hopes that kept me sane. I prayed for him, believed in him, loved him even though we were miles apart, had relationships and children with other people. Well anyway, One day he called me and said everything i prayed he would say one day that we would be together, get married and the whole nine. I thank God for answering my prayers, was so happy. And then things began to change and he admitted he wasn't ready to be with me and that he wanted to take things slow. I feel really hurt like why would God give me these feelings to love someone so much that wouldn't love me back. I have never loved anyone like i did him and i just feel sad and lost, Like everything that i ever wanted is constantly being taken away from me. I try to justify it by saying well maybe God just wants me to be his friend and he was never meant to be mine I've waited so patiently and prayed so much. So then why dangle these feelings for him in my life. I just don't understand if God loves me so much and wants me to be happy then why can't we be together.
Conflicted, you seem to be an emotionally based person; one who "wears their heart on their sleeve," so to speak.

Might I suggest another way for consideration? Look at things from God's standpoint. Did he tell you to pursue this relationship, or suggest to limit it in anyway? Or did you make your own choices? Is he responsible for all the negative or positive circumstances in your life?

God equips us with the means to deal with life's situations. We can avail ouselves to that education, meditate on it, and apply it. We are often our own worst enemies as we can easily mislead ourselves, blame God, blame others, or lose heart. Never underestimate God's love, nor try to quantify it based on experiences which are a part of life as we know it.

Romans 15:4 "For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope."

Driftwood
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Old 01-28-2011, 10:36 PM
 
5,741 posts, read 4,591,177 times
Reputation: 4162
Hey there, I think taking it slow is a good thing. I don't think God is dangling anything in front of you, I think you are dangling it in front of yourself and putting too much of yourself, your hopes, dreams and your very sanity into this thing (this man.) Try to help yourself feel more whole. You may be more in love with the thought and idea of love, than you are with this actual human being. I know that is easy for me to say... but maybe just consider the possiblity and just pray that what happens is the RIGHT thing.

Well, I don't know you. I don't really know your situation, but these are the things that came to mind as I was reading your post. It may not be an accurate assessment or it may not be what you want to hear, but I just thought I'd give you a view from someone on the outside looking in, (and not being able to go on a whole lot of info.)

Peace to you and I hope that your heart experiences a healing very soon.
Do take things slow, you owe it to yourself as much as you owe it to this man. If it really is love, things will work out. If they do not... perhaps it was not meant to be, and you can free yourself from this attachment allowing another door to open and other possibilities that perhaps you may not have seen before to walk through. Anything is possible.
Peace to you..
sparrow
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Old 01-28-2011, 10:39 PM
 
1,963 posts, read 4,257,809 times
Reputation: 1433
conflicted, so many things in this life we will not have answers for. God doesn`t promise us happiness in this life but peace with Him. Although there will be times in our lives that we will have happiness but it is fleeting due to the falleness and evil of this world. Sometimes are prayers are answered, sometimes not.Jesus said that in this world you will have trouble.
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Old 01-28-2011, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Gaston, North Carolina
4,213 posts, read 4,905,690 times
Reputation: 624
You have been blessed in so many ways, feel comfort in that and dont look at any of the socalled bad stuff as bad but further blessing. Look at all you have been thru and see the good outways the socalled bad. You are truly blessed, keep walking with the Lord to see further blessing in you life and look forward to your rewards in the next.
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