U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Christianity
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-20-2011, 08:15 AM
 
2,565 posts, read 3,087,505 times
Reputation: 3720

Advertisements

Here's an article which appeared today on CNN regarding sex stats amongst young Christians. The stats clearly defy those who promote the absurd idea of "abstinence."

Why young Christians aren't waiting anymore CNN Belief Blog - CNN.com Blogs

I'm a former Christian whom abandoned the so-called "church" for senseless reasons such as the one depicted in this article. My wife and I raised three (3) daughters. WE DID NOT PREACH ABSTINENCE TO THEM. My wife did, however, instill in them the beauty of motherhood under the institution of marriage.

I on the other hand, taught my three (3) daughters that a pre-teen, teen-age,and young adult male's sole goal and instinct is to get into their pants. I instructed them to observe what the lives of their close teenaged pregnant friends would transform into. I shared with them about the importance of AVOIDING a pregnancy.

My three (3) daughters are 21, 24, and 26 years old. To date, I've yet to become a grandparent.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-21-2011, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Miami, FL
58,519 posts, read 31,902,789 times
Reputation: 9412
Quote:
Originally Posted by chacho_keva View Post
Here's an article which appeared today on CNN regarding sex stats amongst young Christians. The stats clearly defy those who promote the absurd idea of "abstinence."

Why young Christians aren't waiting anymore – CNN Belief Blog - CNN.com Blogs

I'm a former Christian whom abandoned the so-called "church" for senseless reasons such as the one depicted in this article. My wife and I raised three (3) daughters. WE DID NOT PREACH ABSTINENCE TO THEM. My wife did, however, instill in them the beauty of motherhood under the institution of marriage.

I on the other hand, taught my three (3) daughters that a pre-teen, teen-age,and young adult male's sole goal and instinct is to get into their pants. I instructed them to observe what the lives of their close teenaged pregnant friends would transform into. I shared with them about the importance of AVOIDING a pregnancy.

My three (3) daughters are 21, 24, and 26 years old. To date, I've yet to become a grandparent.
The Christian advice (to wait) is not about avoiding pregnancy, it is God's will.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 06:55 AM
 
Location: SC Foothills
8,830 posts, read 9,752,545 times
Reputation: 58198
I don't think it's a taboo subject, it's just that Christians wish it weren't true, but it is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 07:23 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,050 posts, read 7,070,867 times
Reputation: 13492
IT's not a taboo subject but my guess is that its well known in most churches that they have members, sleeping around and shaking up, but no one talks about it, and even if it becomes known, there will be nothing said because the vast majority of churches don't have any kind of church discipline structure in place. Its really too bad for those participating in this activity, since the NT as well as the OT clearly condemn any sex outside the bonds of marriage, and warns that people that do this and do not repent will not inherit the kingdom of God.

1Co 6:9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 1Co 6:10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 08:24 AM
 
949 posts, read 848,549 times
Reputation: 110
Quote:
Originally Posted by chacho_keva View Post
Here's an article which appeared today on CNN regarding sex stats amongst young Christians. The stats clearly defy those who promote the absurd idea of "abstinence."

Why young Christians aren't waiting anymore – CNN Belief Blog - CNN.com Blogs

I'm a former Christian
The Bible knows of no such thing. If you really were of us, you'd have remained with us. But you didn't. You were a religious person that did what Christians do--but there was no real faith there, apparently.

Mind you---I'm not trying to attack you personally. I'm sure you're a very nice person, and you love your kids very much. I don't dispute that. I'm just saying that going to church is not the same as actually having faith.
Quote:

whom abandoned the so-called "church" for senseless reasons such as the one depicted in this article. My wife and I raised three (3) daughters. WE DID NOT PREACH ABSTINENCE TO THEM. My wife did, however, instill in them the beauty of motherhood under the institution of marriage.


I on the other hand, taught my three (3) daughters that a pre-teen, teen-age,and young adult male's sole goal and instinct is to get into their pants. I instructed them to observe what the lives of their close teenaged pregnant friends would transform into. I shared with them about the importance of AVOIDING a pregnancy.

My three (3) daughters are 21, 24, and 26 years old. To date, I've yet to become a grandparent.
so the Bible is wrong when it says not to fornicate?

Last edited by TheoGeek; 11-21-2011 at 08:40 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 08:33 AM
 
Location: DMV
10,136 posts, read 11,222,505 times
Reputation: 3176
It's not being talked about because people don't know how to avoid it. As Prarieperson stated, there are a lot of people who are in leadership that have the same struggle, so how can they teach anyone how to avoid it. I was always taught that it was wrong, but I was never given practical lessons on how to avoid putting yourself in a compromising position. For me I made that mistake at a young age in part because I didn't understand how to deal with those feelings, I didn't know how to avoid the situations, I didn't know how to handle peer pressure and I also didn't understand scripture very well.

Now of course that I'm older, understand the word much, much better and I understand the nuances of the spiritual and physical sides to sex, it is much easier for me to know how to handle those things. The older generation has done a lot of ragging their fingers, but very little practical advice. It's easy to tell kids not to have sex outside of marriage, but are you teaching them how to do deal with raging hormones and how to avoid being in compromising situations? I'm sure if you asked those young people if they knew sex outside of marriage is wrong, I'm sure at least 90% would tell you they know, but if you ask those same individuals how to avoid it, they would look at you like a deer caught in the headlights. We have become too fixated on cliches whether than practical teaching. How you can apply biblical teachings to everyday situations will go a long way to determining how your walk with Christ will be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Duluth, Minnesota, USA
7,653 posts, read 14,766,147 times
Reputation: 6644
It's actually quite simple. A combination of a sex-saturated culture that actually ostracizes virginity with unrealistically late marriage ages (it's much easier to "save yourself for marriage" when everybody's marrying in their early 20s, as was the case in the 1950's) and a relatively long period in between house leaving and marriage (this seems to have a big effect as well) makes waiting (much less staying chaste) incredibly difficult, though not impossible. If any or all of these factors were taken out, remaining a virgin until marriage would be much easier, but still somewhat difficult.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 08:50 AM
 
Location: DMV
10,136 posts, read 11,222,505 times
Reputation: 3176
Quote:
Originally Posted by chacho_keva View Post
Here's an article which appeared today on CNN regarding sex stats amongst young Christians. The stats clearly defy those who promote the absurd idea of "abstinence."

Why young Christians aren't waiting anymore – CNN Belief Blog - CNN.com Blogs

I'm a former Christian whom abandoned the so-called "church" for senseless reasons such as the one depicted in this article. My wife and I raised three (3) daughters. WE DID NOT PREACH ABSTINENCE TO THEM. My wife did, however, instill in them the beauty of motherhood under the institution of marriage.

I on the other hand, taught my three (3) daughters that a pre-teen, teen-age,and young adult male's sole goal and instinct is to get into their pants. I instructed them to observe what the lives of their close teenaged pregnant friends would transform into. I shared with them about the importance of AVOIDING a pregnancy.

My three (3) daughters are 21, 24, and 26 years old. To date, I've yet to become a grandparent.
Not to say that they are, but the fact that you are not a grandparent does not mean any of your daughters aren't having sex, which if they are can come at any point. Sure it is good to teach them what goes through the mind of a hormone raged teenage boy, but that only goes so far for most young girls. With the Bible, we aren't just taught the importance of avoiding sex outside of marriage, but we are taught the reason for sex period. If you teach your daughter to avoid pregnancy then you aren't really teaching them the spiritual affects of having sex with a man. It is not always easy to overcome the soul ties that you bare by having sexual relations with someone. Those are the type of connections that should solely be made for marriage. There is no telling that a guy could very easily have casual sex with one of your daughters and get them pregnant. Then you would have to deal with your daughter having a child with one that she does not really know. That is why it's important to understand the totality of why we should abstain from sex outside of marriage.

I'm not really sure why you decided to tell us that you aren't a Christian, but to understand the Bible and understand what it states about this topic, is not religious, it's practical. Why would you want to risk having children with someone that you aren't sure you will spend the rest of your life with? I mean let's put like this, once you have children with that individual, you are bond to them for life in some way or another. Is that not a practical way of looking at why it's important to wait? God doesn't give us these things to follow just to have some mindless rules, he teaches us these things because he knows what the consequences are.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 09:36 AM
 
Location: Denver, Colorado U.S.A.
14,174 posts, read 22,514,915 times
Reputation: 10428
Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
It's actually quite simple. A combination of a sex-saturated culture that actually ostracizes virginity with unrealistically late marriage ages (it's much easier to "save yourself for marriage" when everybody's marrying in their early 20s, as was the case in the 1950's) and a relatively long period in between house leaving and marriage (this seems to have a big effect as well) makes waiting (much less staying chaste) incredibly difficult, though not impossible. If any or all of these factors were taken out, remaining a virgin until marriage would be much easier, but still somewhat difficult.
I will tell my children to try and wait - and explain the benefits of waiting. BUT I will also teach them (boys) about condoms and birth control as well. I have an uncle who is extremely fundamentalist and teaches his daughters abstinence only. Right now he has two teen mothers under his roof. Didn't work out so well for them now, did it?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-21-2011, 11:27 AM
 
2,565 posts, read 3,087,505 times
Reputation: 3720
Quote:
Originally Posted by denverian View Post
I will tell my children to try and wait - and explain the benefits of waiting. BUT I will also teach them (boys) about condoms and birth control as well. I have an uncle who is extremely fundamentalist and teaches his daughters abstinence only. Right now he has two teen mothers under his roof. Didn't work out so well for them now, did it?
This is exactly my point! How sad that religious fundamentalists insist on denying that it's human nature to want and need intimacy. The Catholic church tried that and look at the mess they're in.

I know for a fact that each of my daughters have experinced intimacy. At the very least, they have done so fully understanding the risks thereof. At least they know enough to avoid getting pregnant. If it happens to them now, at least they are well outside of their teen years.

This was one subject in our house which was not going to get sugar coated. In our house there was none of that. . ."God said it, I believe it, so therefore you must do it." NO! We chose to inform our daughters, point out a few of their pregnant friends as living examples of what their lives could potentially turn into, and then give them the freedom to make choices of their own.

Today, I often praise each of my daughters for having made it to this point of their lives without being pregnant out of wedlock. In this day and age, this is an acheivement and cause for celebration. They have made me extremely proud.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Christianity
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top