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I went to a Christian college with the same thoughts you had...I figured it'd get me closer to God but that's not what happened at all. We were required to go to "chapels" each week and were forced to take an upper level religion class to graduate. I've never seen a bigger crowd of condescending, hypocritical Christians in my life than going to that school. People would say one thing on Wednesday in chapel and then that same Saturday they'd be the one's in a local bar or club getting drunk and having sex (which preaching to others and leading Bible study groups where all they talked about where how you should not do those things). It was annoying. If you want to try it out for a year, I'd go ahead because it's certainly not money wasted. Scholarships are typically pretty easy to get at Christian colleges though, but make sure you get a chance to go on campus, interact with students (and not just students you tour with). Walk around by yourself and ask questions from all types of people and other students to really get a feel for the school. My Christian college wasn't really worth my business degree, but if I'd been an education major it would have been different.
I have done three years at a three community college. At one semester at a state school and it ended badly.
If I can get a scholarship, then I think I will be fine. Otherwise state school. I am just not happy at home and I could use new friends and it has yet to happen.
Your happiness will not improve in a Christian School.
I am much older than you and I can tell you that happiness that is dependent on external factors or validation is always short lived.
Happiness should be intrinsic to you and not dependent on where you live or where you go to school. Those that seek happiness through external means always fail. there is no person or institution that can make you happy 24/7. You need to be happy on your own, otherwise you set yourself up for disappointment.
When a college gives scholarships very easily it simply means they are not that good. They do this to get your business, nothing else.
Seriously, go to your state school and join the religious clubs, etc. That will work better for you,
Learn how to be intrinsically happy. Do not expect the college to make you happy
I went to a Christian college with the same thoughts you had...I figured it'd get me closer to God but that's not what happened at all. We were required to go to "chapels" each week and were forced to take an upper level religion class to graduate. I've never seen a bigger crowd of condescending, hypocritical Christians in my life than going to that school. People would say one thing on Wednesday in chapel and then that same Saturday they'd be the one's in a local bar or club getting drunk and having sex (which preaching to others and leading Bible study groups where all they talked about where how you should not do those things). It was annoying. If you want to try it out for a year, I'd go ahead because it's certainly not money wasted. Scholarships are typically pretty easy to get at Christian colleges though, but make sure you get a chance to go on campus, interact with students (and not just students you tour with). Walk around by yourself and ask questions from all types of people and other students to really get a feel for the school. My Christian college wasn't really worth my business degree, but if I'd been an education major it would have been different.
That's true in all colleges, not just Christians. I guess it's a lot easier to point fingers and say hypocrites because we know the teachings we should live by. I've encounter many "christians" like this but guess what? Either they never had a relationship with Jesus or they don't give a frap because their parents teach there or their parents are rich. There's a lot of reasons.
About the chapel thing, it is true. At first you're all excited because you get to attend to chapel for 30 minutes (or less) and hear speakers. Your junior and senior year comes, and you just hate it because it got so boring. No good speaker and every one is so sensitive to everything. Wrong Gospel. Racist speaker. This and that. We just like to complain, huh?
There is no need to go to chapel if you go to a catholic college. You are free to do as you please. IN fact, you may not even notice you are in a religious university. This is done to make everyone feel welcomed.
That's true in all colleges, not just Christians. I guess it's a lot easier to point fingers and say hypocrites because we know the teachings we should live by. I've encounter many "christians" like this but guess what? Either they never had a relationship with Jesus or they don't give a frap because their parents teach there or their parents are rich. There's a lot of reasons.
About the chapel thing, it is true. At first you're all excited because you get to attend to chapel for 30 minutes (or less) and hear speakers. Your junior and senior year comes, and you just hate it because it got so boring. No good speaker and every one is so sensitive to everything. Wrong Gospel. Racist speaker. This and that. We just like to complain, huh?
I think it would have been different if it were for only 30 minutes but it was an hour each week. And a lot of the time that was the only hour some of us had free during the day (I worked nights so after classes I went straight to work). It got tedious not having a proper break to even eat during the day. I think the people annoyed me so much because they looked down on others who didn't go to a certain church on Sundays-and while some of them were preachers kids and/or were rich, most of them weren't...they were like that just because. I literally had one guy stare at me while I was trying to lift something heavy out of my trunk and not even try to help me get it out...but if I'd been one of his friends, he would've helped in no time. Sometimes I understand people forget that being Christ-like includes helping others who are not in the spot light or where no one can see you doing a good deed, but you don't have to go overseas in order to do ministry work when there's plenty in your own back yard. Like I said, it just got annoying to see these kids who claim to love God so much not really follow the word of God.
I think it would have been different if it were for only 30 minutes but it was an hour each week. And a lot of the time that was the only hour some of us had free during the day (I worked nights so after classes I went straight to work). It got tedious not having a proper break to even eat during the day. I think the people annoyed me so much because they looked down on others who didn't go to a certain church on Sundays-and while some of them were preachers kids and/or were rich, most of them weren't...they were like that just because. I literally had one guy stare at me while I was trying to lift something heavy out of my trunk and not even try to help me get it out...but if I'd been one of his friends, he would've helped in no time. Sometimes I understand people forget that being Christ-like includes helping others who are not in the spot light or where no one can see you doing a good deed, but you don't have to go overseas in order to do ministry work when there's plenty in your own back yard. Like I said, it just got annoying to see these kids who claim to love God so much not really follow the word of God.
One hour? That's pretty much my devotion right there. Did you go to a conservative christian college? And yeah, those people are annoying especially if you don't go to a certain church they are attending. My friend told me that one guy literally erase her message about attending to her church that sunday and he wrote "Bethlehem" (John Piper's church).
I do agree with your post. I do think that going to overseas is a great opportunity, but it is not the only way to serve. While we don't know their heart Jesus did say we will know them by their fruits.
So, I got into one college. I could commute there, save lots of money, and it's one of the top 5 public colleges in California.
But, I'm living at home and not happy. My parents don't spend anytime with me. My friends all work, so time with them is limited.
I been praying to God for a while about this problem.
The christian college I am thinking of is in an area I like, but it's costly I am not sure how to get financial aid or scholarships. And my dad turned out an offer from a relative to help pay for a private college.
Plus, I don't know if the college has "true" Christians and if it's a good academic school.
And I have by March 15th to apply and I'm not sure if I missed financial aid and scholarship opportunities.
I been praying to God for new friends first of all or second to guide where I will meet friends who will help me blossom in my walk. No answers, and it's been months.....
I also figured a Christian college would make things go right like bible seminaries, bible studies, professors who want to help, and so fourth.
The other thing too is I put so much effort into getting into my local college and that was based on a past life. I had friends in my area who helped me grow and I was so happy with them, but then they moved, and I made new friends, and well the new friends just aren't propelling me to new heights.
I just wish I had a sign. Some sort of sign. Like one my mom's crazy dreams being about me going to a certain college. Or me meeting friends who also want to go to the same college.
My life so far is, well, go to the local college because it's well known and cheap and living at home is easy.
Anyways thanks for any advice.
Wow. I have a few thoughts. In reading what you wrote it seems as though you have some feelings of isolation because you are a commuter. Your feelings are common. Your parents seem difficult. If a relative offered me money to send my child to a private college or any college, I would think of it as a gift from the Lord and take it. Pride would not get in my way.
Your mom seems to want you to go to a particular college to satisfy her desire. Perhaps she never got into the college that she wanted and she wants you to live out her dreams for her.
I want my children to use their God given talents at a college that makes them happy, where they will make friends and fit in.
You want God to give you a sign, and perhaps the sign is your unhappiness. Is it possible that living on campus, in the dorm with your peers, nan-Christian and Christian alike, might be a choice for you?
I am very familiar with the California state system and the universities that you allude to are all superb.
One thing that you write disturbs me a bit - the phrase "true Christian." There are many types of Christians. I am a Christian, but perhaps you might not think so, because I am not a fundamentalist. There are also some very nice and kind people who practice religions other religions.
Honestly, it's possible!
My husband went to a Christian college and was raised in a Fundamentalist home. He also had the opportunity to attend a highly rated state school. He regrets going to the Christian college. I can't go into all of the reasons, but if you send me a direct message, I'd be happy to share.
The sign you may be getting might be that it's time to leave home and to open your mind to new experiences.
I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you all the best.
My non-happiness relates to isolationism, difficult parents, and a lack of friends similar to me.
I agree if the college is giving out a lot of scholarships it could mean it's not the greatest college.
My parents are pretty much forcing me to go the local college and then my parents complain that I am an ass to them and then I say "okay" maybe it's time to accept the fact i should be away for college. Then they stop complaining because they are so adamant to save money. With all the criticism I give my parents and the bickering back n 4th they don't care because in the end the more money they save, the more play time on cruises they get.
My dad is also psychotic in a way and sometimes suggests to do things that could be fatal. I honestly feel his psychoticness will lead to this death one day. He suggested the other day to fuel up my car while it's on......and even I followed my dad's advice he prob would not have taken blame if I died. And my dad also feels he needs to go to North Korea where his uncle died and spread the news about Jesus! My dad also feels it's my responsibility to take care of his stupid mistakes, but IT'S HIS DUMB Mistakes. If he dies in N. Korea or something else, then it's on HIM! If his friends hate him, then it's on HIM! If his back is sore from working, then it's HIS problem!
I never ask my parents for anything. Not help on homework to getting something from the store or to help me with my taxes. I do it all on my own and in return I give nothing back to them except taking care of the house when they're gone. My parents pretty much pay the bills and get my love and that's it. Which if you ask me, is most parents and kids relationship today.
Then my friends all have these "near perfect" lives. Spending lots of time with their parents, formal Christian education, jobs, attention from people, and love for the rural area.
The only time when I am happy is when I am self-sufficient. Which after college is the road I am heading. The day I get my degree is the day I will take the money saved in my bank, get a place down in a city in Southern California, and hook up with the person I met down there who offered me a job.
The only thing I have in common with my current friends is that we are christian, like to hike, and that's about it. They have lived in the country for the majority of their lives, never seen poverty and crime like I have, never seen the problems kids in the cities have rich and poor alike, and they never have had the experience of walking away from sin. Only in the country have I seen families like this. Even rich families in the suburbs have problems too.
Not only that, but my degree in sociology you about criminals and people's problems and from my personal experience I can relate to people with problems and not the ones without problems.
New info: Dad is psychotic!
If your dad is psychotic you need to leave home.
Go get a job and then go to your junior college part time.
Apply for school loans and go to a cheap state university to finish your degree.
Once you are on your own you can talk to that relative that was willing to give cash to your dad for college. Maybe the relative can give the money directly to you.
New info: Dad is psychotic!
If your dad is psychotic you need to leave home.
Go get a job and then go to your junior college part time.
Apply for school loans and go to a cheap state university to finish your degree.
Once you are on your own you can talk to that relative that was willing to give cash to your dad for college. Maybe the relative can give the money directly to you.
I am done with my junior college general education. I have over 60 units. I am going to junior college one last semester to take courses to get my license once I have a year experience doing drug and alcohol work (won't happen til after graduation).
I just feel weird talking to my relative about helping me for my college. They didn't talk to me about it, they asked my dad. I feel funny talking to them about it. My relatives had offered to buy me stuff in the past and one almost wanted to go way extreme and buy me a console system. But I don't like excessive stuff.
Also, that same relative I am close with. She is a new Christian and I just got her a Bible. Her oldest son and his wife are Christian and have been trying to get my aunt and her husband to go to church. The two youngest sons though are wordly as they get for teens of this generation.
I only have two and a half years left to endure though living at home. In Fall, I will start at the state school. The day I graduate my Spring quarter of 2014 I will be packing my bags after graduation and heading down South to never ever return.
I also have a hard time connecting to my relatives because there was a family issue and my dad isolated us from them for a while. My uncle who lives in LA I got close with when I was going to college in LA for a while. My aunt who lives in Palmdale is the one who offered to help me in college. My other aunt who lives in south Orange County is alot richer and I've spent alot of time with her too, but it's hard at times to connect to her.
Then I have another uncle who parents don't like and he moved to Vietnam to be with his wive's family.
My dad's judgement too is that he only visits his family once a year on Thanksgiving. My dad thinks he shouldn't have to drive 4 hours and part of in traffic to see family. He says it's because we live too far, but I think most families would do the drive. Especially when my relatives are paying for the food, cooking, and offering us to spend the night in advance to avoid traffic.
My relatives always invite me to come over for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and other times of the year and I do go down to visit. Especially to see my uncle in LA and my aunt in Palmdale. My uncle in LA, says he is a Christian, but over losing his sister lost his way a bit but is still a great person. My aunt in Palmdale oldest son is a great person and her husband and herself are good people.
My problem with my aunt in Palmdale is after I gave her a Bible I am not sure how to follow up and talking to her kids are rather difficult for me. Two of her sons are premiscous while the other one waited 8 yrs with his high school sweet heart to get married and have sex.
I only think some one is not a Christian when they use profanity, are sexually promiscous, and/or using drugs.
I think you can be a Christian and not be actively involved in a church as long as you read a Bible and pray.
My aunt and uncle both pray, and my aunt I hope she reads her bible now. Not sure if my uncle reads his bible, but he has one. My uncle is drinking and partying and so is his daughter. All though the daughter is not premiscous.
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