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Why couldn't God just make it so we don't have any urges until we marry then? lol
Because we are just a biological being, and it is our nature to procreate for the continuation of our species, the same drive that all other species on the planet have, be they asexual or bisexual, i.e. everything from pond scum to the most evolved species.
Well 'want to' isn't the full story. While the idea of getting married doesn't excite me at this stage, I wouldn't rule it out if I found someone really special. The main reason, however, is, I'm not sure I'll ever be loved deeply enough by any woman to want to marry me, to commit, or even find someone like that. Since fornication - which most interpret to include pre-marital sex - is a sin, am I doomed to a life of perpetual virginity? Technically I'm not a virgin, but in a way I don't see that as counting much (not something I want to discuss on here). I am remorseful for that and it's in the past now. But anyway, back to the question, if I can't find anyone to marry should I just be content being celibate my whole life? What if I can date, have girlfriends, but just not marry?
What's your opinion on this?
So have sex and don't get married or be content being celibate. Your life, your choice and only you can answer the questions you have asked because only you know what is the right thing for you to do in your own life.
A Christian virgin niece of mine married a Christian virgin man last year (he was almost 27, she was 23). They dated for over 4 years and then had an 8 month engagement before they were married.
They waited until they were married (almost 5 years!) before having sex. They are the happiest married couple I know (besides my own marriage ).
Choosing to remain a virgin until marriage can still be done, even in today's society that every where you turn pushes for cheap sex for immediate gratification of the flesh.
It's not "your will power" that will get you through, but "His power to do His will".
Amen. My husband and I dated for 5 1/2 years before we got married and we waited as well. We have been married for 3 years.
Well 'want to' isn't the full story. While the idea of getting married doesn't excite me at this stage, I wouldn't rule it out if I found someone really special. The main reason, however, is, I'm not sure I'll ever be loved deeply enough by any woman to want to marry me, to commit, or even find someone like that. Since fornication - which most interpret to include pre-marital sex - is a sin, am I doomed to a life of perpetual virginity? Technically I'm not a virgin, but in a way I don't see that as counting much (not something I want to discuss on here). I am remorseful for that and it's in the past now. But anyway, back to the question, if I can't find anyone to marry should I just be content being celibate my whole life? What if I can date, have girlfriends, but just not marry?
What's your opinion on this?
I saw this post has been done years ago, but I've been pontificating about this as well. When I was in my 20s, I agreed that sex before marriage is a sin...right? Well, I was willing to indeed wait until marriage, before having sex.
But considering I'm not a really physically desirable man (short and bald, but at least I'm somewhat thin), that it may prove to be difficult to find someone who has a mutual attraction to me.
I've been known to go without a woman in my life for years, and my dates per year, you can can't on one hand...and not to mention the victim of "friendzoning" lol
When I started getting into my 30s, not married (while my friends were married off), I got to thinking, "Man, what If I never get married?" I read a blog recently about a Christian woman in her 40s that basically said, at this point in her life...there's no real incentive to remain chaste until marriage anymore.
Back in the old days, everyone married (pretty much everyone) no later than the age of 25, but most in their late teens. Women didn't play games, they accepted dates pretty quickly and didn't really get superficial about height, appearances, and didn't flake out or play games or whatever. lol
Also, when I was remaining chaste, I did self-gratification. Then someone informed me that even masterbation was a sin.
OH, and even better, say if you don't masterbate, but have "lustful" thoughts about woman (some woman you're crushing on and fantasize about her), even while you're single...yes, wait for it..it's ALSO a sin.
So it kind of makes you think, "Might as well have sex before marriage, right since ALL those things are sins across the board"
So, damned if you do, damned if you don't.
This made me question some of these sins. It just didn't make sense to completely abstain from any kind of sexual thoughts or whatever, and be perfect in not even touching yourself? Esp. as a man? lol
hi, first I want to say, having lust mentally for a person, makes it a “SINâ€, if you're married, from my understanding. because that's basically adultery of the mind and heart. And Jehovah God warns against Adultery. But having those thoughts, have cause MANY to go out and commit serious crimes... rape! Not saying it happens with everyone. Scriptures shows if one is going to fornicate, (sex without marriage), then they need to just get married ,(1Cor.7:1,2 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband).
And think of what comes out of sex without marriage, sometimes, unwanted pregnancies, heartbreaks, (especially for many women). because she tends to believe, that single man MUST be faithful to her, as she's mostly to him. Yet she fail to realize... he's NOT her husband! Which means in many cases, there just sex all over the place. And you never know what one might catch. Jehovah knows this, when he tells us not to commit certain acts, it's for OUR benefit, not his. When someone goes through pain,(mental, emotional or physical), due to their “wicked action, (fornication) – (Matt.15:19 "For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders). They tend to blame God , when it's THEIR fault ,(Proverbs 19:3 People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord).
so You're basically saying, Jehovah God's views on fornication doesn't make sense. That what satan wants ALL OF US to believe, this is his way of blinding us from the truth ,(2Cor. 4:4). sadly we will LISTEN to God's words, just as long as it doesn't hit us. When it does, we try to find a way around his words, just so we can please ourselves. But Jesus told us basically when we hear God's words, we should keep it ,(Luke 11:28 But he said, Yea rather, blessed are they that hear the word of God, and keep it), Meaning obey it. Jehovah gave us free WILL , but it didn't mean he wanted us to use it for what he sees as wicked! Still he's NOT going to do as satan does to us. Which is MAKE or TRICK us into doing what he wants! we need to guard ourselves against him by means of Jehovah God and Jesus ,(Ephe. 6:11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil). it means our lives!
I'm sure we can all appreciate this very human desire you are experiencing, and this desire is placed in you by God!
Pray for God to use this time of celibacy in your life to mature you and prepare you to be a man of God, for a woman of His choosing. Then begin asking Him boldly and often for a wife of noble character. God is generous... and responds to faithful and persistent nagging!!
Blessings,
Stephanie
rotf... your right ! He even says that and almost that way.... he says he will answer if you keep knocking , seeking and asking . :P I need to remember that ... that was great way to put it..
Because we are just a biological being, the same drive that all other species on the planet have everything from pond scum to the most evolved species
after reading this one.. I have to say to the OP .. you too can have sex with pond scum and I can tell you that you will have a much better time with your Mrs righty or Mrs lefty and have way more fun than with some pond scum and or any other kind of biological rubbings .. ..... and get way less diseases and fungus and just biological genital scum and scabs in general ..
A spirit of lust is the root of it all. Deal with the root and the fruit is no longer an issue. People need to understand that it's the roots in the heart of man that cause the urges to defile the temple in any way whatsoever. When lust of the flesh is dealt with, celibacy becomes a non-issue, because the urge has been cut off at the root. Desires being one quarter of the soul, have to put on the altar and sanctified by the fire of His Spirit, so that our desires align with His, by purifying the motive of the heart. When this is done and the fire comes to consume the offering, the root is burnt up as dross, and therefore no longer in the heart to cause one to stumble.
There are other spiritual considerations for not joining yourself to the flesh of another apart from His covenant, and that is that you give what is in their heart a legal right to come into yours, because whatever you join yourself to you become one flesh with. So it therefore makes your bands stronger to overcome, which is why we are told to flee fornication.
And just for clarification, lust is not only physical desires, but desiring ANYTHING apart from His perfect will for the individual. Everything He says to do or not to do, is for our benefit, whether we understand it fully at the time or not.Peace
Well 'want to' isn't the full story. While the idea of getting married doesn't excite me at this stage, I wouldn't rule it out if I found someone really special. The main reason, however, is, I'm not sure I'll ever be loved deeply enough by any woman to want to marry me, to commit, or even find someone like that. Since fornication - which most interpret to include pre-marital sex - is a sin, am I doomed to a life of perpetual virginity? Technically I'm not a virgin, but in a way I don't see that as counting much (not something I want to discuss on here). I am remorseful for that and it's in the past now. But anyway, back to the question, if I can't find anyone to marry should I just be content being celibate my whole life? What if I can date, have girlfriends, but just not marry?
What's your opinion on this?
You have a few choices.
Marry for sex
Have sex in a relationship
Have casual sex
Marry for love
Or be frustrated
Marrying for sex is risky.
Marrying for love and waiting for your wedding night? Your choice.
I know of Christian guys who did wait for their wedding night. Then after a few months waited to get lucky. And waited. Ending up in divorce.
Then I know of guys who waited for their wedding night to have sex with their brides. They didn't find it hard since they were having sex with other girls! Christian guys! They are the only ones who felt a need to wait.
Last edited by 303Guy; 09-21-2017 at 12:04 PM..
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). 
. I have to say to the OP .. you too can have sex with pond scum and I can tell you that you will have a much better time with your Mrs righty or Mrs lefty and have way more fun than with some pond scum and or any other kind of biological rubbings .. ..... and get way less diseases and fungus and just biological genital scum and scabs in general ..
