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Old 06-14-2012, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Florida -
10,213 posts, read 14,753,640 times
Reputation: 21845

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marce30 View Post
My mother passed away last night and im devastated. I want to kill myself and go with her, i feel like she needs me, she wants me to go hug her. Im so sad.
How can i find some calm during this situation ? i feel like nothing is gonna help me.
Can you tell me if she is with God now ? is she at a happy place ? can she see me ? is she around me ? i need some answers please.
Like others here, I, likewise, am sorry for your pain and loss and the grief you are feeling. Further, I pray that your mother had a relationship with God through Jesus Christ ... and is now among that "great cloud of witnesses" spoken of in the book of Hebrews. You have also asked some specific questions; ... questions that confront many at a time like this: (1) Is your mother with God now? (2) Is she in a happy place where she can see you? and (3) How can you find some calm and relief in a situation like this?

You are asking questions (1) and (2) because, for whatever reason, your mother wasn't entirely clear regarding her relationship with God through Jesus Christ ... and/or your own relationship with God in Christ is uncertain, so you have no peace regarding your mother. This leads to the answer to question (3) "How can you find some calm and relief...in this (or any) situation?" As you know (by your questions and follow-on comments), neither you or your mother can do anything further about her situation now. You also know (again by your questions) that suicide will provide you with NO answers or relief!

You can, however, find "the peace of God that passes all understanding" in your own life; ... along with the confidence to face your own life and eventual death ... in Jesus Christ. He, not us, is the source of all true, lasting peace, joy and hope. He loves you and is aware of your situation ... and wants to comfort you in your pain right now! Turn to Him (not the folks on CD!) ... Tell Him that you are sorry you have been away for so long and ask Him to 'heal' all of those things in you that have separated you from Him. Confess your own rebellion and sin ... and accept the forgiveness He freely offers you through the atonement of Christ on the cross. Now, ask Him to come into your life in the person of the indwelling Holy Spirit .... to heal your heart and open you to His blessings and peace. Truly do this out of your heart ... and you will discover a peace and hope in the midst of today's circumstances in your life, but, also to face the future trials and difficulties in your life.

Let us know how things work out for you. - God Bless
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Old 06-14-2012, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Tucson, Arizona
987 posts, read 1,112,407 times
Reputation: 298
I too am sorry for your loss, Marce. My mother died over 35 years ago and I have missed her very much. My father died over 10 years ago. My sister died in December. Each loss is difficult but I believe our best memorial to them is to live well, celebrate life, remember them with love. Whether she is presently with God, or sleeping, there are many different opinions out there...but I would comfort you with the thought she is at peace. If you think she is near you, if you feel her presence, who is to say otherwise? Grieve for awhile, but in that grief remember the good things. When you feel better, let us know how you are doing. You didn't say how old you are, do you work, have outside interests. Sisters/brothers? Can you share your feelings with family or friends? Share with us if you want. Many here have lost loved ones and can promise you life is still worth living. God bless you.
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Old 06-14-2012, 12:58 PM
 
303 posts, read 428,722 times
Reputation: 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marce30 View Post
My mother passed away last night and im devastated. I want to kill myself and go with her, i feel like she needs me, she wants me to go hug her. Im so sad.
How can i find some calm during this situation ? i feel like nothing is gonna help me.
Can you tell me if she is with God now ? is she at a happy place ? can she see me ? is she around me ? i need some answers please.
Hi Marce30,
I am so sorry about your mom and that it’s been so difficult for you, but that's understandable. I want you to know that your mom is doing great. She is not in heaven....not yet, only Jesus was risen to the right hand of God. Everyone else that has died is gone to rest. You could look at rest as though they are asleep. When we go to rest, it is a place of comfort and healing. We no longer toil or have troubles as people in this world. God has given us comfort in that he said in Proverbs 3:24 When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid; yea, thou shall lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet. He also said Psalm 4:8 I will both lay me down in peace and sleep: for thou, Lord, only makest me dwell in safety. She is at peace and she is safe. Now many will tell you she had to be a believer (Romans 10:9) and while this is true you also need to know that not one of us truly are believers, for we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). God told us in John 16:9…that the world’s sin is that they refuse to believe in him. We refuse to believe in God’s promise of salvation, his mercy, his strength and power, his ability to work in the worst of us and the will to change our hearts. We refuse to believe in his ability to equip us with everything we need (including our belief) for the wonderful promises that he has given us. We must believe. We must have faith, but our faith is also a gift from God….1 Corinthians 12:9 the spirit gives the gift of faith. Not only does he give us faith he also perfects our faith to the very end. He begins it and he finishes it (Hebrews 12:2)….he writes the entire course of our faith. Now some of us have been given a foretaste of the gift of faith, we do not all share the gift of faith in this lifetime but to each of us he has given a special gift and we are to use these gifts to edify each other. None of us have the full measure of his Spiritual gifts in this lifetime, if we did we would never sin. When we die some will say that it is too late if that person did not believe, but they don’t realize that it is them who do not believe…..they do not believe that Jesus is Lord even over the Sabbath Day(Matthew 12:8), our day of rest. When Jesus walked this earth he healed on the Sabbath Day…..He will do the same for us when we die. For he has also told us Romans 6:7 for he that is dead is freed from sin and John 8:36 If the son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Death is the day when he frees us from the bondage of sin and cuts away our sinful nature. He circumcises our hearts and gives us a new heart, a heart that will always obey him, a heart that believes (Ezekiel 36:25-28). He heals even on the day of rest, the Sabbath day and if you believe this you will not mourn as everyone else does for you know you will see your mother again. Christ said in John 12:32 And, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me. She is included in ALL MEN as we all are included, for God is reconciling man to himself and he will accomplish His Will. Remember his will be done. God’s will is that all be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth (2Timothy 2:3). So take comfort in knowing that she is perfectly okay and when you see her again she will be perfect as you also will be perfect. I promise you this, trust in God’s promise and believe in his power, for that will give you peace.
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Old 06-14-2012, 06:35 PM
 
Location: In bed with Madonna
475 posts, read 505,097 times
Reputation: 408
Thanks for all the answers, i really appreciate it.
I feel like i cant talk to God because im very mad at him. I dont have a religion but i do believe in him and in Jesus. I think he failed me, he took away what i love the most. If he loved me, why did he do that ? im just so mad that i cant even pray. Last night i was in bed and i started crying so loud and i yelled at him "you dont love me because you took her away, i dont like you, i hate you". I feel so bad, i dont know where to go, where to run, what to do. Nothing.
I feel so lost.
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Old 06-14-2012, 07:02 PM
 
Location: NC
14,674 posts, read 17,020,464 times
Reputation: 1503
Marce30, sometimes people do things that may cause us pain but does this mean that they don't love us? God loves you even though your mother is not with you right now in the flesh. She is always right there with you in your heart. You will always be a part of her. It's normal to have feelings like this when we are hurting and God understands your pain, Marce30. He understand even when we don't understand. Do you have any friends to talk to, like ScarletWren shared? Was your mother sick? God bless you.
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Old 06-14-2012, 07:13 PM
 
Location: arizona ... most of the time
11,825 posts, read 12,429,748 times
Reputation: 1319
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marce30 View Post
My mother passed away last night and im devastated. I want to kill myself and go with her, i feel like she needs me, she wants me to go hug her. Im so sad.
How can i find some calm during this situation ? i feel like nothing is gonna help me.
Can you tell me if she is with God now ? is she at a happy place ? can she see me ? is she around me ? i need some answers please.
Marce30,
Nothing is going to change about your mother's situation, but thoughts of what you're considering will change yours. If your mother had faith in Jesus as her Saviour, she has the best person giving her hugs ... better than you could ever give. Being in the arms of a loving God is the greatest comfort a person can have.

However... There are 6 cases of suicide recorded in the Bible that was done out of dispair and the person forfeited salvation.
Abimelech (Judges 9:52-54),
Saul (1 Samuel 31:4)
Saul's armor-bearer (1 Samuel 31:5)
Ahithophel (2 Samuel 17:23)
Zimri (1 Kings 16:15-20)
Judas Iscariot (Matthew 27:3-5)


Satan attacks are the hardest when we are the weakest or in despair.
Marce3o ..... there is a battle for your soul going on. Jesus promises that if you resist the devil, he will flee from you. Thoughts of what you are doing need to be addressed asap with a counselor (preferably a Christian counselor)

For comfort ... Isaiah 49:13-16
Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth;
burst into song, O mountains!

For the Lord comforts his people
and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.

But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.”

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?

Though she may forget, I will not forget you!
See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.
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Old 06-14-2012, 08:38 PM
 
481 posts, read 860,699 times
Reputation: 163
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnysmyler View Post
^^^^^^^ Not good at all (SMH), here we have a sister hurting and grieving over the loss of her mother and all you can do to offer her words of comfort are threats of losing her salvation, something she couldn't earn even if she tried....

twin.spin, you need to go back, rewind and come again and then go have a seat with that heartless judgmental response.

SMH....why are you trying to take the peace of heart and mind John 14: 27 gives us. As some of my friends like to say "don't let the devil use you!!"
Not defending anyone here, but I really do not think that 'twin,spin's" posting was meant to be offensive or of any heartless judgmental response. If anyone is judging here, it is you per say, and I do not say that to offend you or to strike at you. I say that in love, with peace in my heart my brother or sister. I think personally that 'twin.spin' was just being straight forward through the Spirit, and was to strengthen her, not weaken or bring her down. God does work in some strange and unique ways through His children. She is in a very vulnerable position presently, and is assessable to temptation, especially with her distancing from God our Father, from the Spirit. I only wish her the very best for her and she really needs to find counsel or fellowship with fellow brothers and sisters in the Spirit. This is the only thing that will help her gain her feet on the ground so she can firm them to this world. It is strength in numbers in the Spirit that will bring the healing and nurturing she needs presently. Now, i do agree that a bit of control and better wording could have been used with the "you can lose your salvation by committing suicide" statement.

Unfortunately, we cannot control the appointed time of our loved ones, or even the time that they are taken away out of God our Fathers control through our free wheel choices we make as flesh.

Now, maybe I am missing something here or I am ignorant to something as well, but who is SMH or should I say, what is SMH?

....Shalom haveri or haverti
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Old 06-14-2012, 08:40 PM
 
Location: El Paso, TX
32,916 posts, read 26,150,281 times
Reputation: 16072
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marce30 View Post
Thanks for all the answers, i really appreciate it.
I feel like i cant talk to God because im very mad at him. I dont have a religion but i do believe in him and in Jesus. I think he failed me, he took away what i love the most. If he loved me, why did he do that ? im just so mad that i cant even pray. Last night i was in bed and i started crying so loud and i yelled at him "you dont love me because you took her away, i dont like you, i hate you". I feel so bad, i dont know where to go, where to run, what to do. Nothing.
I feel so lost.
Hi Marce. You have to understand that in God's plan His timing is always perfect. He took your mother at the exact right time in accordance with His will, plan, and purpose. He did not take her to punish you or hurt you. There is a time for everything, including death.

Anger can be a part of the grieving process, but you must not let it consume you or cause you to make rash and impulsive decisions.

We really have no right to criticize God for anything that happens to us or to those we love. Part of being a mature person is being able to accept the fact that life hands us unpleasant circumstances and setbacks and then resolving to deal with them.

Since you are feeling such anger, I would suggest again that you seek counseling.

Can you tell us if you know for sure whether your mother had received Christ as Savior?

And I agree with sunnysmyler that the other poster used poor judgment in saying that you can lose your salvation by commiting suicide. It was insensitive even though I'm sure his motives were good. But he is simply incorrect. You cannot lose your salvation for any reason. But you still have no right to take your own life as it superimposes your volition over God's will. It is just going to take some time for the shock of your loss to wear off.
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Old 06-14-2012, 08:41 PM
 
Location: Tucson, Arizona
987 posts, read 1,112,407 times
Reputation: 298
Marce,

Anger is ok, it's one of the stages of grief. It's ok to have all these feelings for awhile. Why don't you post us a little about your mom and tell us a precious memory?

I remember when I was very young and I was at some friends' house and they were getting ready to go to a circus that was setting up at a local strip mall parking lot...it wasn't a big one but still sounded great. I went home and told my mom how sad I was cuz I wanted to go but they didn't invite me. My mom stopped what she was doing, cleaned up, and took me. This was so out of character for her because we always had to watch money carefully. Later my friends' parents told me they were going to invite me but I left too soon. I am so glad because that is one of the most special memories of her tho I have many.

She would want you to enjoy life while you can. That is what I would tell my children if I knew I would be gone from their presence soon. Mourn and grieve for a short while but life is for the living and there is much to enjoy. I have some battles with depression but they are always eclipsed by the good. I like to call those wonderful moments splashes of joy. They make all the other stuff worth it. Sometimes it's just a glimpse of a coyote running across the road, or a roadrunner, my friends posting pictures of their newborn grandchildren, and then when those children turn 3 or 5. Watching my grand daughter in her ballet recital or having my daughter come over and watch a movie with me. Spending a day at the pool with a friend where we float around and just enjoy. Listening to my favorite music. Watching a tear jerker where I cry and cry and then all of a sudden I smile and realize that sometimes it feels good to cry. I don't know how old you are Marcone, or even what sex you are, but I know that despite some sad times, including a gut wrenching divorce, I've found life is still wonderful.

I always think I'm the weakest person around but my friends tell me how strong I've become because of some of the things I've overcome. Well guess what? You are much stronger than you think too. You'll never forget your mom but the loneliness does get better, bit by bit.

Sending you a big ole hug
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Old 06-14-2012, 08:45 PM
 
Location: NC
14,674 posts, read 17,020,464 times
Reputation: 1503
Amen. A big hug to you from me too, Marce30.

God bless you. He loves you.
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