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Old 09-30-2007, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
292 posts, read 860,690 times
Reputation: 195

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There are always people your wanting to have a quick word with at church. This last Sunday I wanted to talk to a gal but she was talking with someone else. I didn't want to interupt.(I did interupt admittingly)
THEN I was talking with someone else and had just started when a man came up and basically booted me out of the conversation.
I am praying for the mannerly way to do this. (talking to people after or before church probably isn't the best time but if you don't have their information makes it hard)
Maybe need to get their info.
Any ideas?
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Old 09-30-2007, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,587,727 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruralgalnebraska View Post
..<snip>..was talking with someone else and had just started when a man came up and basically booted me out of the conversation.
Generally, I think just apply the rules of good manners and "do unto others as you wish they do unto you.."

As for what happened with that man...I think it is perfectly acceptable, *immediately* after he interrupted, to break in and say something like "Oh do please let me finish my conversation...we'll be through here in a while" and then if you can turn your back on him and stand between him and your friend. This isn't always possible, I know. But turn your attention back to your friend and quickly say "as I was saying...."

Honestly, he was quite rude where's Miss Manners when you need her? I'm quite certain it's not considered bad manners to 'hold your own' in a conversation when someone else is barging in.
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Old 09-30-2007, 05:31 PM
 
7,099 posts, read 24,507,586 times
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Patience, if you have the time, is always the most mannerly thing to do.
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Old 09-30-2007, 06:14 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,574 posts, read 21,726,369 times
Reputation: 18115
Rural, I know exactly what you mean..If my husband happens to come by
while I am in conversation, he always interrupts me and starts talking to the person, sometimes he even steps in front of me..It really makes me feel like someone just stamped "invalidated" across my face
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Old 09-30-2007, 11:28 PM
 
Location: NJ
329 posts, read 1,334,001 times
Reputation: 154
Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2 View Post
Patience, if you have the time, is always the most mannerly thing to do.
Wholeheartedly agree. Standing a few feet off and just waiting...patiently. As for your conversation being hijacked, I might have said "excuse me, brother can you give us a minute" ? Or how about "I can see he is in a hurry, may I call you"? (Then you will get the phone number for the future).
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Old 10-01-2007, 06:26 PM
 
Location: All around the world.....
2,886 posts, read 7,507,747 times
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All of these are good answers, but what I do to keep from getting overwhelmed after service. I try to scan the people that I need to speak to, right after Amen" to see what direction they're headed ,so I can hopefully get to them before someone else beat me to it, and start monopolizing their social (fellowship) time. If this doesn't seem to work. I'll immediately proceed outside on the church grounds and wait a few, it usually works; or catch them as they are going to the car, getting in the car, or cranking up the car. it may seem pushy or., but I always keep smiling,manage to wrap my words to keep their attention for at least a minute. That's usually all it takes. If I'm engaged in conversation and someone butts in, or tries to hijack; I use my" think quick techniques" ie: " Oh! how are you doing?....sure was a blessed service....blah blah,..". If this fails and they're rude which I should hope not. I'll have to go in my "bag of tricks" and come up with another line, to allow time to at least let the person know to call me; (to incl. having a calling card handy, or my info on something)..........I go through this all the time. some times I'll wait to talk to them at Bible study a couple of days later. Am I trying to manipulate people? I wouldn't think not.. But you have to do what works to keep from being rude yourself. I do all of this with love and tact" (smiles)
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