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Old 09-06-2012, 07:29 AM
 
566 posts, read 1,101,874 times
Reputation: 709

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Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
God would not want you to be in an abusive marriage. Your husband can claim to have changed just as The Devil can claim to be harmless an angel ,but we all know its not the truth. Your husband is truly the devil in sheeps clothing.
He (God) gave you a working mind to decide what is best for YOU and two legs to carry you away from danger (satan).

The serpeant is a VERY manipulative and cunning creature - God also gave you the strength to TURN AWAY!

Mine has been the most sensitive lately. Attending to any need. Reminding me that the past couple of days he has been so agreeable. Helpful.

But I recall the times he chased our 7 y o down the hall in anger to take a plastic door hanger off her door knob and throw it away because it might scratch the door. She was in a panic. Not certain if her father was going to hurt her, too. She loved that little door hanger - it had Dorothy and Toto from Oz. He was in a rage.

The holes in the walls downstairs. The doors torn off their hinges. The broken glasses in the dishwasher. The lies. The torments. THE CONTROL.

He is passive aggressive and more worried about the pension being split down the center, than what happens to me. If need be I will run as fast as I can to get away from him. For to stay would be an even GREATER sin to commit because I do know he is evil.

ETA: He keeps repeating "what about our vows" Till DEATH, do us part?" Till death? I choose to save myself. You should, too.
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Old 09-06-2012, 07:35 AM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,595,449 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
OK......heres what happened........

Married an abusive man
Put up with his crazy behaviour for 20 years.
Rock bottom - massive chemcial reaction/love thing for other man in church
Catalyst for change - left hubby.
Hubby repentant.
I did not believe. Felt I torn towards this other man.
Screwed my head up....so left Church, felt it was disrespectful to be in church, married woman, loving another man.
Hubby had massive wake up call, felt a Spirtual event occuring in him....when HE was at rock bottom.
Hubby changed! His own father was shocked, said it was a different Son. My dad, my family noticed big change.
I eventually, slowly took him back....watching warily!!!!!!
Hubby has kept his word. No swearing, no abuse, being kind, helpful, coming to church, loving.
Me - kept away from other guy.
He is still on my FACEBOOK.....please someone, give me advice abou this....should I delete him? Can I be friends?
Don't want to hurt other guy.
Choose marriage, I made Vows...BECAUSE of this massive change in a hubby I NEVER thought would happen.

NEVER EVER EVER EVER will I put up with the nonsense I tolerated....for 20 long years. I wish I had left him sooner. Why did I wait.

Grateful, loving, sincere thanks to all those who helped me. You will never know how much I cherished and needed those words of wisdom...and I really did listen....I didnt change my husband....GOD did.....who else could have.!
If I recall correctly, you could take him off the facebook "friend" list without any notification to him. He might be looking for you on there and see you're not there anymore in the list, but that doesn't mean your not friends. If the guy knew that you liked him, and he's a Christian than he will respect that you have decided to stay with your husband and want to cut off the temptation.

Out of sight out of mind.

The eye is the portal for the flesh to incite desires. Desires lead to sin if we don't replace the bad thought with the good. The door could be left open. It's probably best to shut the door.

Saul didn't kill all the Amorites which many consider a type of the flesh not being destroyed. An Amorite ended up killing Saul.

God is working in your husband's life. Plus if the husband finds out, than possibly envy and jealousy could take root. A husband has a lawful right to be Godly jealous for his wife.
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Old 09-06-2012, 11:00 AM
 
550 posts, read 980,806 times
Reputation: 671
Quote:
Originally Posted by hellothereIN View Post
He (God) gave you a working mind to decide what is best for YOU and two legs to carry you away from danger (satan).

The serpeant is a VERY manipulative and cunning creature - God also gave you the strength to TURN AWAY!

Mine has been the most sensitive lately. Attending to any need. Reminding me that the past couple of days he has been so agreeable. Helpful.

But I recall the times he chased our 7 y o down the hall in anger to take a plastic door hanger off her door knob and throw it away because it might scratch the door. She was in a panic. Not certain if her father was going to hurt her, too. She loved that little door hanger - it had Dorothy and Toto from Oz. He was in a rage.

The holes in the walls downstairs. The doors torn off their hinges. The broken glasses in the dishwasher. The lies. The torments. THE CONTROL.

He is passive aggressive and more worried about the pension being split down the center, than what happens to me. If need be I will run as fast as I can to get away from him. For to stay would be an even GREATER sin to commit because I do know he is evil.

ETA: He keeps repeating "what about our vows" Till DEATH, do us part?" Till death? I choose to save myself. You should, too.

Yes you are right. The serpeant has convinced Jenna that he doesnt exist. He is very cunning and manipulative. You both need to leave you're abusive husbands behind. You have children to think about. Do you want them to get hurt?

Jenna don't be fooled by the Devil. He has convinced you of his classic trick and you have fallen for it, I fear.
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Old 09-06-2012, 12:47 PM
 
550 posts, read 980,806 times
Reputation: 671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
If I recall correctly, you could take him off the facebook "friend" list without any notification to him. He might be looking for you on there and see you're not there anymore in the list, but that doesn't mean your not friends. If the guy knew that you liked him, and he's a Christian than he will respect that you have decided to stay with your husband and want to cut off the temptation.

Out of sight out of mind.

The eye is the portal for the flesh to incite desires. Desires lead to sin if we don't replace the bad thought with the good. The door could be left open. It's probably best to shut the door.

Saul didn't kill all the Amorites which many consider a type of the flesh not being destroyed. An Amorite ended up killing Saul.

God is working in your husband's life. Plus if the husband finds out, than possibly envy and jealousy could take root. A husband has a lawful right to be Godly jealous for his wife.
No offense, but how can you encourage a person to stay in an evil, toxic relationship is beyond me. God is not working for her husband. That is clearly the work of the devil. God was sending her signs that she could have a better life. Whether that be with a new man or by herself. He showed her a better life ahead. He showed her that there are actually good, god loving people who don't use God to their own advantage and evil. Her husband has deceived her and now she has been manipulated by the devil and he has convinced her he does not exist.
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Old 09-06-2012, 01:43 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,595,449 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
No offense, but how can you encourage a person to stay in an evil, toxic relationship is beyond me. God is not working for her husband. That is clearly the work of the devil. God was sending her signs that she could have a better life. Whether that be with a new man or by herself. He showed her a better life ahead. He showed her that there are actually good, god loving people who don't use God to their own advantage and evil. Her husband has deceived her and now she has been manipulated by the devil and he has convinced her he does not exist.
According to Jenna, the man has repented.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
OK......heres what happened........

Married an abusive man
Put up with his crazy behaviour for 20 years.
Rock bottom - massive chemcial reaction/love thing for other man in church
Catalyst for change - left hubby.
Hubby repentant.
I did not believe. Felt I torn towards this other man.
Screwed my head up....so left Church, felt it was disrespectful to be in church, married woman, loving another man.
Hubby had massive wake up call, felt a Spirtual event occuring in him....when HE was at rock bottom.
Hubby changed! His own father was shocked, said it was a different Son. My dad, my family noticed big change.

I eventually, slowly took him back....watching warily!!!!!!
Hubby has kept his word. No swearing, no abuse, being kind, helpful, coming to church, loving.
Me - kept away from other guy.

He is still on my FACEBOOK.....please someone, give me advice abou this....should I delete him? Can I be friends?
Don't want to hurt other guy.
Choose marriage, I made Vows...BECAUSE of this massive change in a hubby I NEVER thought would happen.

NEVER EVER EVER EVER will I put up with the nonsense I tolerated....for 20 long years. I wish I had left him sooner. Why did I wait.

Grateful, loving, sincere thanks to all those who helped me. You will never know how much I cherished and needed those words of wisdom...and I really did listen....I didnt change my husband....GOD did.....who else could have.!
Jenna is being wise to watch him warily, but the man is producing signs of regeneration. No woman should be in an abusive relationship with a man, but with this being said God CAN change a man - even one she's known for 20 years.

It'd be wise of all of us to keep Jenna and her marriage in prayers that his man can overcome the bonds of Satan's binding influence and be healed by the Lord resulting in a regenerate marriage.

This is the work of God that can change lives.

To come to the conclusion that he's deceiving her and thus should leave him is based on an assumption in which you don't even know the man.

He's going to church. There is a chance. With God all things are possible.
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Old 09-06-2012, 06:23 PM
 
233 posts, read 443,847 times
Reputation: 318
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
Jenna is being wise to watch him warily, but the man is producing signs of regeneration. No woman should be in an abusive relationship with a man, but with this being said God CAN change a man - even one she's known for 20 years.

It'd be wise of all of us to keep Jenna and her marriage in prayers that his man can overcome the bonds of Satan's binding influence and be healed by the Lord resulting in a regenerate marriage.

This is the work of God that can change lives.

To come to the conclusion that he's deceiving her and thus should leave him is based on an assumption in which you don't even know the man.

He's going to church. There is a chance. With God all things are possible.
Mikelee81,
Have you ever been in an abusive relationship or been close to someone who was/is??? You're right, I don't know the man, but I know the type. Just because he says he has changed for the better does not make it true. It's called the honeymoon phase. When the abuser senses he has lost control of his victim, he acts nice and repentant. He will use every trick to make her think he has changed, and when she is sucked back in the abuse will begin again. An abuser does not let go of his victim easily, he will do anything to get her back. This happens all the time, in every part of the world, to people of every faith, economic background, education level, etc. Jenna is not alone; many abuse victims all report the same cycle. It is very well documented and studied.

If Jenna's husband has found God, then that is great. He can learn and find support for his new faith in church or in other Christian groups. Hopefully his new faith can help him with his temper. He should also learn that guilting his wife back into a relationship that she doesn't want is wrong. God can turn lives around, but a few months of talk isn't indicative of a permanent change. He has been this way for 20 years and old habits die hard, even with God's help.

Please do not tell Jenna to go back to her abuser. She needs support in her decision to leave him. Keep in mind, a man who believes in God is not free of sin and temptation. Faith in God can help shape your actions, but that faith can temporarily be forgotten in a moment of anger. Jenna can forgive her husband (as the Bible tells us to forgive people who have done us wrong), but she should forgive herself too. Jenna should not feel guilty for leaving a man who has made life horrible for her and her children for 20 years.

Jenna: Please know that there are many people cheering for you, and many people who have been where you are. It is possible to be happy after you leave, but you have to give yourself more than a few months to heal after 20 years of manipulation and pain. When your husband shows any sign of backsliding into his old ways, please kick him to the curb for good. I know it's hard, I know you love him, I know you have good memories with him, but I can't see why God would want you to suffer at a tyrant's hands for the rest of your life. God made you as an intelligent, beautiful, and independent person capable of great things. You're not just a bag of bones made to listen to abuse and be beaten about. Be safe Jenna.
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Old 09-06-2012, 07:22 PM
 
550 posts, read 980,806 times
Reputation: 671
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikelee81 View Post
According to Jenna, the man has repented.



Jenna is being wise to watch him warily, but the man is producing signs of regeneration. No woman should be in an abusive relationship with a man, but with this being said God CAN change a man - even one she's known for 20 years.

It'd be wise of all of us to keep Jenna and her marriage in prayers that his man can overcome the bonds of Satan's binding influence and be healed by the Lord resulting in a regenerate marriage.

This is the work of God that can change lives.

To come to the conclusion that he's deceiving her and thus should leave him is based on an assumption in which you don't even know the man.

He's going to church. There is a chance. With God all things are possible.
Reading Jenna's past posts it appears her husband has been repentant before only to go back to his abuse. According to her, he has always been abusive and mean one minute and then nice and repentant the next over the course of 20 years! And Jenna has put up with it and made excuses for him and continues to do so. She doesn't even love him and only went back to him because he manipulated her and guilted her into it. Well it is not the work of God, because this man is deceptive and a classic abuser. A person can go to church and still be evil and claim they have changed. It is not the work of God.
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Old 09-06-2012, 08:36 PM
 
Location: USA
192 posts, read 320,614 times
Reputation: 283
PRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The devil's mission is to seek whom he may devour, read your bible, fast and again I say pray. There is also the 10 commandments where we are told thou shalt not commit adultry. The Lord is able to save and deliver your husband, please don't fall into sin, resist the devil and he will flee from you. Don't do something that will cause your Lord and Savior to be grieved. There is a consequence for sin-"For the wages of sin is death", and our father died so we wouldn't have to be lost to sin. Please pray and ask God to direct your path. Be encouraged.
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Old 09-06-2012, 10:12 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,595,449 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by boolouwho View Post
Mikelee81,
Have you ever been in an abusive relationship or been close to someone who was/is??? You're right, I don't know the man, but I know the type. Just because he says he has changed for the better does not make it true. It's called the honeymoon phase. When the abuser senses he has lost control of his victim, he acts nice and repentant. He will use every trick to make her think he has changed, and when she is sucked back in the abuse will begin again. An abuser does not let go of his victim easily, he will do anything to get her back. This happens all the time, in every part of the world, to people of every faith, economic background, education level, etc. Jenna is not alone; many abuse victims all report the same cycle. It is very well documented and studied.

If Jenna's husband has found God, then that is great. He can learn and find support for his new faith in church or in other Christian groups. Hopefully his new faith can help him with his temper. He should also learn that guilting his wife back into a relationship that she doesn't want is wrong. God can turn lives around, but a few months of talk isn't indicative of a permanent change. He has been this way for 20 years and old habits die hard, even with God's help.

Please do not tell Jenna to go back to her abuser. She needs support in her decision to leave him. Keep in mind, a man who believes in God is not free of sin and temptation. Faith in God can help shape your actions, but that faith can temporarily be forgotten in a moment of anger. Jenna can forgive her husband (as the Bible tells us to forgive people who have done us wrong), but she should forgive herself too. Jenna should not feel guilty for leaving a man who has made life horrible for her and her children for 20 years.

Jenna: Please know that there are many people cheering for you, and many people who have been where you are. It is possible to be happy after you leave, but you have to give yourself more than a few months to heal after 20 years of manipulation and pain. When your husband shows any sign of backsliding into his old ways, please kick him to the curb for good. I know it's hard, I know you love him, I know you have good memories with him, but I can't see why God would want you to suffer at a tyrant's hands for the rest of your life. God made you as an intelligent, beautiful, and independent person capable of great things. You're not just a bag of bones made to listen to abuse and be beaten about. Be safe Jenna.
Maybe I do not know Jenna and her situation like many on here do apparently.

I just advise to do the will of God, which is up for her and God to decide. God doesn't like divorce, but I'm sure he doesn't condone an abusive relationship either.

As for marrying the other guy, it's Adultery to marry another after divorce except it be for fornication. There is no way to dance around it.
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Old 09-06-2012, 10:17 PM
 
6,822 posts, read 6,595,449 times
Reputation: 3769
Quote:
Originally Posted by smalltowngirl25 View Post
Reading Jenna's past posts it appears her husband has been repentant before only to go back to his abuse. According to her, he has always been abusive and mean one minute and then nice and repentant the next over the course of 20 years! And Jenna has put up with it and made excuses for him and continues to do so. She doesn't even love him and only went back to him because he manipulated her and guilted her into it. Well it is not the work of God, because this man is deceptive and a classic abuser. A person can go to church and still be evil and claim they have changed. It is not the work of God.
Well if that's the case, than maybe it is time to leave.

Sounds like the guy could use a good hard fire hell preaching to scare the bones out of him. Keep them in prayer.
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