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i am a christian. i have been saved for 7 years and until lately was in fellowship regularly. my 19 year old christian daughter was "caught" having an affair with a married man...he has left his wife and child for her...my pastor told me that i was to have nothing to do with her...to cut her out of my life completely until she repents and leaves him...i am not happy with the decision she has made, i have told her that this is not what god wants for her...i cut her out of my life as the pastor instructed (7 months now) and just prior to him telling me to leave the church he told me that i should reach out to her...i did...and now i am being shunned by the members in the church for spending time with her...i guess i should also mention that the guy in question is/was the pastor's son in law...i would be greatful for some direction re: what scripture and God has to say about how i am to treat my daughter...
i am a christian. i have been saved for 7 years and until lately was in fellowship regularly. my 19 year old christian daughter was "caught" having an affair with a married man...he has left his wife and child for her...my pastor told me that i was to have nothing to do with her...to cut her out of my life completely until she repents and leaves him...i am not happy with the decision she has made, i have told her that this is not what god wants for her...i cut her out of my life as the pastor instructed (7 months now) and just prior to him telling me to leave the church he told me that i should reach out to her...i did...and now i am being shunned by the members in the church for spending time with her...i guess i should also mention that the guy in question is/was the pastor's son in law...i would be greatful for some direction re: what scripture and God has to say about how i am to treat my daughter...
I don't care what your pastor tells you. I don't care what the other members of your church tell you. I'm not even sure you're going to get a definitive answer from the scriptures. Ask God directly and listen to what He tells you. I can just about guarantee that the Holy Ghost will direct you to do everything within your power to salvage the relationship with your daughter, regardless of what she has done. (My daughter did something quite similar, so I do have a pretty good idea how hard this is on you.) Families are important to God and He doesn't want yours destroyed because your daughter messed up, even if she's still involved with the man. That was the decision I made and I've never regretted it. Good luck and God bless.
Please do not let other people control your relationships. Especially with your daughter. Tomorrow is NOT guaranteed. Your daughter needs you.
Nevermind those people who would have the AUDACITY to "shun" you!
i am a christian. i have been saved for 7 years and until lately was in fellowship regularly. my 19 year old christian daughter was "caught" having an affair with a married man...he has left his wife and child for her...my pastor told me that i was to have nothing to do with her...to cut her out of my life completely until she repents and leaves him...i am not happy with the decision she has made, i have told her that this is not what god wants for her...i cut her out of my life as the pastor instructed (7 months now) and just prior to him telling me to leave the church he told me that i should reach out to her...i did...and now i am being shunned by the members in the church for spending time with her...i guess i should also mention that the guy in question is/was the pastor's son in law...i would be greatful for some direction re: what scripture and God has to say about how i am to treat my daughter...
The part I agree with is telling her that her decision is wrong and not what God wants for her, cutting her out of life, DON'T DO IT!!! No wonder the pastor told you do that since it was his daughters husband, but that is not Biblical advise. I was in a relationship for 16 years my mother did not approve of, and she told me so several times, but never ever did she cut out of her life or shun me. Eventfully I did change and my relationship with my mother did not suffer, but grew stronger. Be there for her, pray for her, but do NOT shun her!!!!!!
This pastor is a jerk and so are the church members. Be glad that they shuned you..they did you a favor. I myself don`t want to have anything to do with people like this.The pastor was closely tied to this situation so he couldn`t even give you an unbiased opinion.
Just keep loving your daughter and do spend time with her. Loving her doesn`t mean that you will agree with her decisions in life. I wouldn`t talk about her affair to her because it`s obvious that she intent on keeping this relationship right now. Talking about it wouldn`t do any good. She has to come to a point herself were she realizes that what she is doing is wrong.
I agree with everyone. God says that He will never leave us nor forsake us, and He's our heavenly Father, so I don't think He would want any parent to leave or forsake their child.
I guess you could be considered the biological male parent, but in no sense should you be considered her father if you follow what is basically a strangers advice.
i am a christian. i have been saved for 7 years and until lately was in fellowship regularly. my 19 year old christian daughter was "caught" having an affair with a married man...he has left his wife and child for her...my pastor told me that i was to have nothing to do with her...to cut her out of my life completely until she repents and leaves him
You have GOT to be kidding! As much as I love the leaders where I attend, if they said that to me, they would be suspect until the repented to me. That is ridiculous!
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedchristianmom
...i am not happy with the decision she has made, i have told her that this is not what god wants for her...i cut her out of my life as the pastor instructed (7 months now) and just prior to him telling me to leave the church he told me that i should reach out to her...i did...and now i am being shunned by the members in the church for spending time with her...i guess i should also mention that the guy in question is/was the pastor's son in law...i would be greatful for some direction re: what scripture and God has to say about how i am to treat my daughter...
Seriously, you need to pack up your colorbooks and paperdolls and quit playing at this playground!
Our children are gifts from G-d, specifically chosen for us (that's scriptural). Anyone who will not see to a child's welfare first is worse than an infidel (that's scriptural).
We are given as parents to these specific children, to represent G-d to them. As ling as your daughter has life, there is hope for her, and she needs love from you as the G-d-representing parent.
I will ask you a question to which I know your answer: When you err, does G-d kick you to the curb?
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