When is it time to change churches? (Gospel, lukewarm, funerals)

[Padgett2]

We were active members in a church close to our house. Sang in the choir, (2 services per day) taught or worked in Sunday School and Youth groups. Children were in the appropriate groups for their ages. Husband in the Men's group. I didn't join any of the women's groups because I didn't want another thing to do.

What with all the choir rehersals, revivals, study groups, teachers planning meetings, Sunday School parties, etc. We could not count on having a normal evening at home with the children. They were either down at the church or we were. We tried to drop out of things so that we could have more time with our children, the minister told us that our trouble was that we were not involved enough with the "church family"

That did it for us. We found a church that recognized and encouraged people to witness somewhere else besides on the church property. The community outside of the church could use our talents too.

[arguy1973]

Originally Posted by Padgett2

We were active members in a church close to our house. Sang in the choir, (2 services per day) taught or worked in Sunday School and Youth groups. Children were in the appropriate groups for their ages. Husband in the Men's group. I didn't join any of the women's groups because I didn't want another thing to do.

What with all the choir rehersals, revivals, study groups, teachers planning meetings, Sunday School parties, etc. We could not count on having a normal evening at home with the children. They were either down at the church or we were. We tried to drop out of things so that we could have more time with our children, the minister told us that our trouble was that we were not involved enough with the "church family"

That did it for us. We found a church that recognized and encouraged people to witness somewhere else besides on the church property. The community outside of the church could use our talents too.

that sounds way "too familiar" ..gr8 post!

[arguy1973]

Originally Posted by kaykay

No, this is one very difficult aspect of leaving we've found in the past. You have to be willling to do what you feel you should and not let people unduly influence you. And that's tough... when it's people you love. You don't want to hurt them by leaving and you know that you are.

Ive found that most people really do understand..especially those that are teachers/preachers/deacons..they know how it is..Its kinda like the military..one guy told me...we are still all in this together..our orders have just changed..we are just gettin deployed to a different area..but we are still all in this together.

[yhwhshalomjr]

Originally Posted by kaykay

I know the obvious answer is "when God directs you to do so." But what would you consider some of the signs that the Lord may want you to move on? And obviously, if there is wrongdoing or major disagreement with leadership, those kind of things would kind of be a deal breaker for sure, but what if you're not happy with things but it's not "integrity issues?" When do you leave and when do you just kinda "hunker down" and see what happens?
Any thoughts? Have you ever left a church and gone to another one?

Apostles should be left by us when they deviate from the example of their Master.

in Blue Letter Bible- Matthew Henry ICorinthians 11

[kaykay]

Originally Posted by arguy1973

Ive found that most people really do understand..especially those that are teachers/preachers/deacons..they know how it is..Its kinda like the military..one guy told me...we are still all in this together..our orders have just changed..we are just gettin deployed to a different area..but we are still all in this together.

Good analogy, However, we did have one music minister that was so determined we were not leaving, I think he almost grabbed hold of our car bumper and held on as we attempted to drive out of the parking lot!
(Not really! But I'm sure you get my point!)

[kaykay]

Originally Posted by yhwhshalomjr

in Blue Letter Bible- Matthew Henry ICorinthians 11

Yeah, that's definitely what I would call a deal-breaker.

[arguy1973]

Originally Posted by kaykay

Good analogy, However, we did have one music minister that was so determined we were not leaving, I think he almost grabbed hold of our car bumper and held on as we attempted to drive out of the parking lot!
(Not really! But I'm sure you get my point!)

thats when you drive really fast and swerve alot...no officer..i didnt see a man with one hand on the bumper and the other holding sheet music..

j/k..sometimes the faster a goodbye is made..the easier it is..

[kaykay]

Originally Posted by arguy1973

thats when you drive really fast and swerve alot...no officer..i didnt see a man with one hand on the bumper and the other holding sheet music..

j/k..sometimes the faster a goodbye is made..the easier it is..

ROTFL! ...holding the sheet music!

Well, as I said, I was kidding about the car, but he DID actually have about a 3-hour lunch with my husband trying to convince him not to go.

[arguy1973]

Originally Posted by kaykay

ROTFL! ...holding the sheet music!

Well, as I said, I was kidding about the car, but he DID actually have about a 3-hour lunch with my husband trying to convince him not to go.

thats why when we decided to leave..I thought it would be easier (and it was) to go quickly..not a long drawn out goodbye...one of the ministers there resigned..and he gave a three week notice...it seemed very hard on everyone..even though he was taking over at a new church as the head pastor..I didnt want to do that....

[Dave_n_Tenn]

Originally Posted by kaykay

I know the obvious answer is "when God directs you to do so." But what would you consider some of the signs that the Lord may want you to move on? And obviously, if there is wrongdoing or major disagreement with leadership, those kind of things would kind of be a deal breaker for sure, but what if you're not happy with things but it's not "integrity issues?" When do you leave and when do you just kinda "hunker down" and see what happens?
Any thoughts? Have you ever left a church and gone to another one?

The bride of Christ. Our churches are like our brides or as our husbands. Do we run at the first sign of trouble? of course not... we hang in there, even if our spouses are faltering. There are no perfect marriages and there are no perfect churches. We made a vow, for better or worse. I'd like to think we can make the same kind of commitment to a local body of believers.

Maturity is a necessary component of being a follower and a Christian. The most unforgiving people are teenagers. The most forgiving are grandmothers and grandfathers. I hope we think "old" before our years.

I see people leave for many reasons..... some feel tithing allows them some additional authority... starts something like... "you know I tithe ________ " just fill in the blank with a demand, any demand. When it gets ignored... always they go. Then there is the traditionalist " calling modern music "devil worship" sheeeeesh!, then there is the young people... why can't I text message or speak on the phone... my point is EVERYONE can find excuses, but reasons are few and far between.

When the body has clearly moved in a sinful direction, or is "found out" by an governing authority, the church will falter... guaranteed. Not right away, but it will happen. God allows for asking forgiveness and to get back on track. The early churches had similar problems. Read about the church at Corinth! Whew!! They would make the news at 11 for sure!!

I have left churches.... I've moved, and I've moved on. Both are valid. Since we saints are the church... any time where there is sin, we must be involved in the process of healing, not condemning. It is a very difficult time, and needs lots of wisdom and discernment. We should default to the Lead/Senior Pastor's authority. We should ask for an audience about what is troubling us. We should seek wise council from the elders.... but we should not gossip. That is sin, and has divided and destroyed many good churches. If there is sin from persons in authority, they should be removed but not castout. They should/could be allowed to heal, while being accountable..... and prove their worthiness, to come back to their former position.

Hard topic to discuss..... if you have a personal question.... DM me, I'll try to help.