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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Plano, Texas
8,640 posts, read 13,369,287 times
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Question Confrontation...when to do it? How to do it?

Well, certainly as Christians we know how much the Lord values love and forgiveness, but at least IMO, the Bible also allows for and even seems to encourage and even demand "confrontation" especially of a fellow believer when needed. The Bible also talks about "speaking the truth in love" so obviously, that is how it should be done. What do you think that means exactly? When do you think confrontation is called for and when do you think it's better to just pray and leave the situation with the Lord?

When do you think you personally should "confront" a brother or sister in the Lord? Have you ever had to do this? Let's discuss.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:28 PM
 
Location: The Netherlands
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I only confront people when they ask for help. I try to help them with making a decision. I always speak my mind but the other is responsible for his own actions. If he does or does not take my words to heart is not my responsibility.

Communication is inherently a 'confrontation' so confrontation can only be avoided when you isolate yourself from others.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:34 PM
 
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Kay, on the surface, it may seem that we should do something, but it may be that there are very deeply hidden reasons for certain behavior. That's where we could run into trouble if we don't understand everything.

Let's face it, sometimes we mean well, but we open up that can of worms. We need to be very sure of what we are doing when we try to correct another adult's behavior.

Will they consider it none of our business and turn away instead of listening?

If they were our friend, would we risk cutting the ties of friendship? Would that change them?
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:44 PM
 
Location: ARK-KIN-SAW
3,427 posts, read 6,139,989 times
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thats a tough question..I dont offer any advice about anything unless I am asked or someone else is in danger..the latter requires immediate action IMHO..if I had a problem with someone..I would ask the pastor to sit in..as a mediator/moderator that way both sides of the story can be told..thats way its all out there..so to speak.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:45 PM
 
3,086 posts, read 3,678,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
Well, certainly as Christians we know how much the Lord values love and forgiveness, but at least IMO, the Bible also allows for and even seems to encourage and even demand "confrontation" especially of a fellow believer when needed. The Bible also talks about "speaking the truth in love" so obviously, that is how it should be done. What do you think that means exactly? When do you think confrontation is called for and when do you think it's better to just pray and leave the situation with the Lord?

When do you think you personally should "confront" a brother or sister in the Lord? Have you ever had to do this? Let's discuss.
We have a responsibility toward our brethren or sisters in the Lord.. "Reprove" is different than "rebuke". If I see something I question in my brother's life, I can go to him, maybe ask him "how's it going?", and get his side of the story... we "prove it together". That is alot different than walking up to him and rebuking him for his failings...
This is hard to do... it's alot easier to either just "ignore" it or "gossip" to other people about it.. but the biblical way of "between you and him alone" is the way which draws and binds together.

And kaykay, I'm glad you brought this up... I've been thinking about this very subject lately. (Can't give you reps..!)
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:47 PM
 
Location: Highland Village
1,430 posts, read 2,410,759 times
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Kaykay I think this is a great topic. It is so CHALLENGING for me because I hate confrontation on so many levels. I am a wimp about it (Unless it involves Baby Thirsty and then I become a whole different person entirely). It is hard for me because I know I am so far from where I need to be, its hard to call out another even in Christian care. I will gladly help and offer advice if someone asks for it. I am curious how others will answer this.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:53 PM
 
3,086 posts, read 3,678,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by little_thirsty View Post
It is hard for me because I know I am so far from where I need to be, its hard to call out another even in Christian care.
I know... I'm so far from the mark many times. Who am I to go talk to someone else about their spiritual life? Often, I find it works best if I talk to them about how God has helped me, how I have or had a problem with the very same thing.. The bible says to "take the beam from your own eye before removing your brother's splinter". I don't think this means that we have to be perfect before we reprove anyone, just that we should see our own mistakes and failings, and have them in the proper light and be willing to deal with them.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Highland Village
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That was very well put cg81, I really appreciate that post.
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:57 PM
 
Location: ARK-KIN-SAW
3,427 posts, read 6,139,989 times
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the way I see it..when someone (Christian) is in the wrong..the Holy Spirit is gonna convict them..just like when I come under conviction..for doing/saying something I shouldnt have said or done..
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Unread 10-19-2007, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Maryland
3,540 posts, read 3,842,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
Well, certainly as Christians we know how much the Lord values love and forgiveness, but at least IMO, the Bible also allows for and even seems to encourage and even demand "confrontation" especially of a fellow believer when needed. The Bible also talks about "speaking the truth in love" so obviously, that is how it should be done. What do you think that means exactly? When do you think confrontation is called for and when do you think it's better to just pray and leave the situation with the Lord?

When do you think you personally should "confront" a brother or sister in the Lord? Have you ever had to do this? Let's discuss.
I have confronted those that are misleading others.
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