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Old 10-24-2007, 12:05 PM
 
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If you extend the offer to have them as house guests, you will be, according to some of the posters, offering them hospitality and this is a good thing.

However, I want to point out something, if you really don't want them there, and you may have good reason to feel this way, offering with dread is dishonest and hypocritical.

I feel there is little to be gained by pretending. Pretense, by it's very nature, is dishonest and not a christian attribute. It certainly will not help your sprirtual growth.
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Old 10-24-2007, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Somewhere along the path to where I'd like to be.
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You know, Jesseco, something else you mentioned just popped out at me. You said that they stated they were going to come visit again next year. In that particular situation, since you didn't actively invite them, you are under no obligation to open your home as a Bed and Breakfast for them. For them to presume they would be staying with you is rude.
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:24 PM
 
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Default More information

Originally they wanted to come here to visit my elderly parents. I have only met them once before, when I was in their part of the country visiting my sister. They had us for dinner, also.

My parents are more reclusive than me, and won't even have them to their house (it's a mess). My parents also hoped I'd invite them to stay with me. But the thought of being with them for so many hours filled me with dread. I do like them; but I seem to require a lot of "alone" time.

My adult children are always welcome to visit, but I'll admit even that is a little stressful for me--it involves a LOT of extra cooking! One of them (age 25) lives with me (and my husband). Two are away at college. One of them is getting married, and his fiancee is also welcome here. I feel very comfortable around her--she's very low key. On the other hand, when some of my children's friends have stayed with us, it has been very difficult for me.

My sisters are also free to visit me, but one of my sisters has a husband who is very difficult to be around (and sometimes does activities that would make most people not want him in their homes). I dread the thought of him coming to visit. A niece of mine has four young children, and when she was driving through several years ago, I also had her family to dinner. They also stayed in a hotel overnight. Again, I felt terrible, but even the few hours they were here, the children were wild and that would have been VERY hard for me overnight!

To the poster who suggested that I stretch myself (lisak64) and I would enjoy these visits, I am (a little) open to that, but not just now. To the posters who said that I should be honest (Padgett2, Ruralgalnebraska, Tricky D) thank you--that is my plan for now, even though that will also be hard.

DavenTenn, thank you for the biblical wisdom. I found other verses also having to do with hospitality (we should do it without grudging), and kaykay, I too wonder what exactly it means, but I do think it has to do with opening our homes.

I love your idea, arguy1973, and I certainly hope you will invite me to your next BBQ! I'll make sure to stay in a hotel and bring some food from McDonalds!

blue62 and kelly3120, you both sound very understanding of people's differences, and very hospitable!

WCRob, you seem like such a perceptive person! They did state that they will come again next year when they visit other relatives about 300 miles from here. I'm not sure what to do; I guess I'll agonize for a while!

Thanks for your helpful thoughts, EVERYONE!!!!!
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Old 10-24-2007, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Somewhere along the path to where I'd like to be.
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I do want to note that the whole "hospitality" thing is MUCH different in today's world than it was in Biblical times - at least here in America it is. I mean, it's good to be hospitable - particularly to those who are in need and could use some help. But if someone can afford to travel somewhere, it pretty much stands to reason that they should be able to afford to stay in a hotel. Now granted, if there are any rooms available, that's a different story. Heck, I myself would welcome strangers into my home (provided I felt they were good people) if there weren't any hotel rooms available. I wouldn't even charge them. But it's not the same in this country as it was ages ago when people would travel, and there weren't places for them to stay along the road or in the destination city they were travelling to. So I think the Bible is speaking to those situations. I don't think it necessarily means we have to open our home as a Bed and Breakfast if people have the means to find a place to stay during their visit. It's one thing if you invite them to stay with you during their vacation. It's totally different if they invite themselves to stay with you.
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Nebraska
292 posts, read 859,242 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Padgett2 View Post
If you extend the offer to have them as house guests, you will be, according to some of the posters, offering them hospitality and this is a good thing.

However, I want to point out something, if you really don't want them there, and you may have good reason to feel this way, offering with dread is dishonest and hypocritical.

I feel there is little to be gained by pretending. Pretense, by it's very nature, is dishonest and not a christian attribute. It certainly will not help your sprirtual growth.
WOW! So true! Why pretend anything? This was GOOD!
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:06 PM
 
576 posts, read 340,611 times
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Quote:
I do want to note that the whole "hospitality" thing is MUCH different in today's world than it was in Biblical times - at least here in America it is. I mean, it's good to be hospitable - particularly to those who are in need and could use some help. But if someone can afford to travel somewhere, it pretty much stands to reason that they should be able to afford to stay in a hotel.
Thanks for this clarification, WCRob. I feel this way, too, but they made a point of telling me how they stayed on the outskirts of the city ($200 per night) because staying inside the city was $400 per night. They are traveling on a budget. They also made a point of telling me that my family is welcome to come stay with them--even if they didn't have an extra room, they'd find room for us since we're family! (Imagine how I felt when they said that.)

I must also tell you something funny--several months ago when my husband and I were traveling with our youngest son to help him move to his dorm, we stayed in a city on the way. Our middle son lives there and he invited us to stay overnight with his fiancee's parents. He was insulted that we stayed in a motel instead. So I feel that no matter what I do it's wrong!

Here's what I want to yell: "Hey world--I don't want to stay overnight with you! I want to stay in a motel and I want you to, also!!!!!!! And please stop judging me for my preference"--like WCRob, I believe I'd open my home if the NEED is there!!!! (But I still wish I were a more open person.)
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:15 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,668 posts, read 20,279,267 times
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Default Me too actually....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesseco View Post

Here's what I want to yell: "Hey world--I don't want to stay overnight with you! I want to stay in a motel and I want you to, also!!!!!!! And please stop judging me for my preference"--like WCRob, I believe I'd open my home if the NEED is there!!!! (But I still wish I were a more open person.)
Quite frankly, I feel much the same way. I don't like overnight guests and I have been forced to have them. I tolerate it but I don't like it much.

As has been pointed out in Bible times, the need to open your home for an overnight stay would have been greater than usually is the case now. And again, I have never defined biblical hospitality as necessarily having people overnight. In fact, I guess I have usually thought of it as "having people over for dinner!"

So if any of you forumers wind up in Dallas, maybe I'll serve you dinner but don't expect an "overnight invite" from kaykay, ok??
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:17 PM
 
Location: ARK-KIN-SAW
3,434 posts, read 8,928,055 times
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Jessico posted..."I feel this way, too, but they made a point of telling me how they stayed on the outskirts of the city ($200 per night) because staying inside the city was $400 per night"
wow..lol if 200.00 a night is traveling on a budget..they better not travel with me..hello Motel 6
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:23 PM
 
576 posts, read 340,611 times
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Hey, kaykay, maybe we should meet halfway between D.C. and Dallas for dinner (LOL)!

arguy1973, the hotel fee is why they are only renting a car for a few of the days. The city is D.C.; that's why it's so expensive. But they are staying at a nicer place than Motel 6! (Hey, that's where we stayed on our way to Son's dorm, and it was clean [and private]!)
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Old 10-24-2007, 03:44 PM
 
Location: ARK-KIN-SAW
3,434 posts, read 8,928,055 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesseco View Post
Hey, kaykay, maybe we should meet halfway between D.C. and Dallas for dinner (LOL)!

arguy1973, the hotel fee is why they are only renting a car for a few of the days. The city is D.C.; that's why it's so expensive. But they are staying at a nicer place than Motel 6! (Hey, that's where we stayed on our way to Son's dorm, and it was clean [and private]!)
and..they leave the light on for you or so says tom brodell..

YouTube - Motel 6
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