Scripture That Makes You Laugh Out Loud

[thrillobyte]

Originally Posted by granpa

Several members of the 20th-century Heaven's Gate cult were found to have been castrated, apparently voluntarily and for the same reasons

That's the unkindest "cut" of all.

[Cyber Munchkin]

There are some pretty funny names in the Bible too--
Zippor, Balaam, Ham, Nimrod, Uz, Mash, Diklah, Jobab (like Joe Bob), Dorcas.

Job 13:5 (New International Version)
If only you would be altogether silent! For you, that would be wisdom.

Proverbs 29:20 (New Living Translation)
There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.

Now isn't that what a fool does, speaks without thinking....



Football. At least, the pure version of football, where you play with a pigskin.

Leviticus 11:8, which is discussing pigs, reads "You shall not eat of their flesh nor touch their carcasses; they are unclean to you."

And you're doubly breaking that if you go throw around the football. Or go to the county fair and enter a greased pig catching contest......

Now this one with not eating anything found dead (road kill) yet, you can give it or sell it to your neighbor....
Deuteronomy 14:21 (New International Version)
Do not eat anything you find already dead. You may give it to an alien living in any of your towns and he may eat it, or you may sell it to a foreigner...

[Soda120]

(quote): Deuteronomy 23:1 "If a man's testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the LORD. (quote)

Oh, the pain ...

One I like is (paraphrasing), "He was so terrified; his knees knocked together and his bowels were loosened".

I didn't know that was possible until I read that in the Bible.

[TroutDude]

Originally Posted by Soda120

(quote): Deuteronomy 23:1 "If a man's testicles are crushed or his penis is cut off, he may not be admitted to the assembly of the LORD. (quote)

Oh, the pain ...

One I like is (paraphrasing), "He was so terrified; his knees knocked together and his bowels were loosened".

I didn't know that was possible until I read that in the Bible.

Oh, it's possible all right.

In fact, it's predictable if one is frightened enough.

[Azrael17]

How about:
"A man shall not lay with a man as he does women, for that is Unclean."
LoL
First that is physically impossible as men do not have the required sex organ,
Second even if you over look that fact this verse only rules out male homosexuality and not female homosexuality.

So ladies you can be as gay as you want. LoL

I'm straight guys so don't get the wrong idea.