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My friend Boyd called me. He is a Christian and goes to church with his family. He's a good family man. He is in a lay position in the church. Boyd told me his wife of 18 years wants a divorce. I could tell, even over the phone, that Boyd was shaken. I won't mention what church or religion Boyd belongs to, but they do not take divorce lightly.
Boyd is at a loss where to turn. His wife refuses to talk to anyone. I'm afraid I wasn't much more than an ear for him to bend. Should he take it to the church?
My friend Boyd called me. He is a Christian and goes to church with his family. He's a good family man. He is in a lay position in the church. Boyd told me his wife of 18 years wants a divorce. I could tell, even over the phone, that Boyd was shaken. I won't mention what church or religion Boyd belongs to, but they do not take divorce lightly.
Boyd is at a loss where to turn. His wife refuses to talk to anyone. I'm afraid I wasn't much more than an ear for him to bend. Should he take it to the church?
If this happened to me, my pastor would be my first stop.
He should also visit a lawyer pronto. Women who say that they want a divorce aren't calling anyone's bluff. They usually mean it. It is best to be prepared and withdraw than to be taken to the cleaners b/c you weren't prepared. Get the heavy guns out. Yes, I mean it. If this is a false alarm, all can go back to normal with the cost of a consult. If this is the real deal and he does nothing, he gets hosed big-time. And yes, by all means, use your church, use a local counseling venue, try to remedy this difficulty, do all you can to address this to save the marriage (unless there is violence, infidelity, desertion, or abuse). And then work so it never happens again.
Kin A is giving good advice. After 18 years of marriage, I doubt this is a whim. She's probably been planning this for some time. My advice is don't fight the divorce, let her go, don't beg for counseling. All the counseling in the world is not going to make someone want to stay. He's the innocent party in the divorce. He's free to date and get remarried. She should be put under church discipline, since she is rebelling against God's will.
The lawyer thing is also very important. Tell him to find one NOW. Its quite possible she has already seen one and has been getting advice for some time.
I would take her to Bible and remind her she made a vow before God "til death do us part" and to her husband. Ask her if she's a Christian? If she's says yes I'd tell her she's a liar because the only grounds for divorce in the bible are adultery or sexual immorality as stated in Matthew. If she's not willing to take that then yes a pastor needs to be addressed or christian marriage counselor.
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