U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Christianity
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-15-2013, 10:58 PM
 
4,428 posts, read 4,079,604 times
Reputation: 3571

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
WHEN did God's commands stop being realistic? -- When did sin, stop being sin?

... 'Poor old God; if He really wants people to buy-into His message, He better stop being "the same yesterday, today and tomorrow" ... and get Himself a Facebook page and a Twitter Account and start taking Polls to decide what is right and wrong.'

God has told us, as parents, pastors, teachers - what is right and wrong ... and admonished us to "train up our children in the way they should go." Instead, far too many have abandoned their trust in a Holy God and His truth ... and are depending instead of human nature and teenagers to tell them what is right and wrong. The problem is not with the 'urges' of young people, but, with the backbone of Christians.
No one said Gods commands were unrealistic, im saying the advice is given normally by a married person who gets what they need at night, so all they can say to young adults is dont do it, the bible says so, it will land you in hell, and the young adult still turns around and goes through with it.

You dont know how many people I have seen standing up in church to take a open vow and show off their purity/celibacy ring and take the pledge, only to end up pregnant in a few years. Or the testimony of, if God said dont have sex until marriage, that is what im going to do, followed by their pregnancy within a year or 2.

What im saying is:
-Dont have sex like I did
-Scripture on sexual immorality
-Fear of hell treat

ISNT WORKING, And the person still ends up sleeping with someone, shows there might have to be a better way in counseling someone on dealing with their basic human sexual urge to the opposite sex. People were not probably not waiting until 25-30 yrs old to get married back then in bible days, so Im sure most of the challenges this generation is going through, they would have failed themselves too.

The usual cracking point is 25 yrs old for people before they cant hold out much longer. I know some do, but many dont make it through college pure.

Is not working now, there will have to be a new way to reach this generation, which will be hard considering how much everything is sexualized now and how easy access to R and X rated things are now.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-15-2013, 11:49 PM
 
Location: california
5,673 posts, read 4,895,222 times
Reputation: 6693
Human nature is to selfish and self serving ,
A spirit filled obedient Christian has a much different outlook on life.
The problem is motivation where it comes from and what is the result.
If a person gives in to all animal urges, he will murder as well , is that fine with you ?
Many other animal urges are quite contrary to being human and superior to the animals .
A man obedient to God will not choose to do things that are not God's design.
In human terms, premarital sex disregard's the value of the actual relationship one actually makes a commitment to.
But why bother getting married if you don't believe in God any way, that He should have any govern in your life?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 05:42 AM
 
Location: In Sticky San Antonio TX
1,437 posts, read 2,559,323 times
Reputation: 1740
This is a very provocative post, and I'm glad it went up. We who are older are admonishing young, inflamed, immature, impulsive youth. Better to hold one's tongue or to be a small rudder on a large boat. Marriage did occur younger across time in history. G-d's holiness is an ideal, an aspiration, but may be attained. If I can recall, I waited until I was 30 to lose my virginity with a woman (engaged sexually without penetration) and I was 39 when I engaged in intimacy with penetration, marrying that same woman two years later.

Based on persons posting here, there are a number who are that old or older and they are waiting. But there is something wrong with the corollary assertion, that we should be hearing this from someone who has not been in a relationship or from someone who has remained sexually 'pure.' I don't need to have a heart attack in order to complete heart surgery. I also shouldn't have to be 'pure' to speak about maintaining purity. There is none sinless, not one here on earth. Wouldn't this make us all hypocrites, when we talk about holiness, grace, love, Christian perfection? This is not to water down the purity debate, but it may truly be putting the baby out with the bathwater. And where is purity? Even Jimmy Carter made this a moot point with his savvy commentary about lust and immorality.

This 'doctrine' may indeed create greater temptation. I'm truly not sure where to go with this aside from the admonition to place faith in G-d. That same faith saves us, nothing more or less. We should certainly be wise as serpents but innocent in our actions. I really like this topic and appreciate the OP for putting this idea up. Thank you to SAAN.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 07:39 AM
 
Location: Whereever we have our RV parked
8,849 posts, read 7,736,397 times
Reputation: 15182
My advice is simple. When you meet the one you want to marry, get married, and the sooner the better. Our relationship with God comes first. Put the temptation to sin behind you and get married. Then, working together, you can get the career thing going. It may not sound practical, but for those who trust God, and honor his will, God can and will help you along. Many people got married while in college and still completed their education. With some sacrifices and hard work, it can be done. Lots of folks have done it. One of our members came home from Vietnam, and immediately got married. Then he went to college and eventually became a CPA.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 08:23 AM
 
Location: In Sticky San Antonio TX
1,437 posts, read 2,559,323 times
Reputation: 1740
At another juncture and from another angle, this may be an American ideal, but among unhealthy activities, why are we worried about sex? We have multiple health conditions to worry about including use of cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, being overweight, anger, high blood pressure, lack of exercise, lack of good nutrition, imbalanced lives, complacency, poor sleep, and anomie. Can someone suggest why we as the American church don't focus on these issues? These are not irrelevant - more persons living longer can tithe more. More persons living healthfully can be full, complete witnesses to a healthful lifestyle.

Why is our focus on this one area when there are many more - how about false teachers, false prophets, overuse of the TV, the need for electronic connections without interpersonal connections, the state of world affairs and war, social injustice? How about the true expression of Christian love? What are we doing about these issues? What are the Christian ideals for creating one Church with G-d? This isn't an anti-Christ ideal, this should be, could be 21st century living? How about taking care of the widowed and orphaned, the destitute and downtrodden, those who are grieving? Where are our ideals relative to these issues?

It only takes a good post like SAAN's to get thinking. What does it take to get moving to what is our Christian foundation? This issue (sex) is from the Puritans. What is our basis in Christ? We really lose the baby with the bathwater on this one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 08:37 AM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,577 posts, read 21,738,535 times
Reputation: 18152
My humble "church" advice is simply "Be responsible".

That pretty well should cover all the bases for preventing a home run by the pitcher and catcher, and leaves it up to the umpire to make the morality decision.
__________________
Moderator of:
Non Romantic Relationships
Parenting and sub forums
Dayton, Akron-Canton in Ohio
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 09:30 AM
 
Location: NY
9,071 posts, read 15,068,422 times
Reputation: 11515
I would think helping young adults understand the negative consequences would yield better results than just the old "'cause God says so."

Well, there are reasons God says so, and it isn't just because he decided to torture the unmarried with sexual frustration.

With any sinful actions, all kinds of negative consequences can befall the person committing the sin. With premarital sex, you have some of the obvious. Pregnancy. STD's, etc. There can even be negative consequences to many of the birth control methods out there (condoms can and do fail, the pill can make women feel ill, sick, off, etc, morning after pill can do reproductive damage, etc).

Maybe the real key is to make sure the young adults in your church understand the consequences of actions, so that they are better equipped to make a decision when facing the decision whether or not to have sex.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 09:44 AM
 
19,950 posts, read 13,656,082 times
Reputation: 1973
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAAN View Post
Typical advice on how to refrain from sex I hear in churches
Older person tells younger person dont mess up like me when I was a youth, tells them some scriptures about sexual immorality and sometimes the fear of sexually immoral people will not enter heaven. The younger person says okay, then goes and makes the same mistakes they were just warned about, then they give a testimony to the next younger person and say dont mess up like me, followed by scriptures, followed by the the younger person after them messing m up too.


The other day I was speaking with a young lady that is 22 and been with a guy for 5 yrs and I asked her when does she want to get married and she said when is is close to 30 and a older lady told her yeah that is right, go and get your career and then get married. Now we all know human nature is if you are with someone and are attracted to them, you will want to have sex with them sooner or later no matter how much you Love God because it is just human nature.


How do you tell young adults how to deal with their urges and at the same time being realistic since many people are now told to wait til 27-30 to get married, yet not do one thing sexual with the person they are with and just say celebrate for 5-10 yrs like its a piece of cake. The person giving the advice is always married, so they are getting what they need already.

Same issue with folks that end up getting hooked on porn: you are wrong, dont do it, lust is a sin, wait til marriage for any type of sex, yet ignore the fact that humans are sexual by nature and are going to have sexual urges for the opposite sex and sooner or later if they are not married will end up looking at porn or starting having sex outside of marriage because they are tired or waiting or looking for the right mate.

Is there any realistic advice to give to singles on sexual immorality now adays that they will listen and try to apply?
Morality is not dependent upon circumstances. God forbids sexual intimacy outside of marriage. That includes even a teenager with raging hormones.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 09:57 AM
 
4,428 posts, read 4,079,604 times
Reputation: 3571
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vizio View Post
Morality is not dependent upon circumstances. God forbids sexual intimacy outside of marriage. That includes even a teenager with raging hormones.
True, but it is a well known fact that believers are having sex outside of marriage more than nonbelievers now a days . its seems like no matter what advice they get or what they see in scriptures, they will still have sex anyways. Even the most super saved folks I know ended up giving in.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-16-2013, 10:11 AM
 
19,950 posts, read 13,656,082 times
Reputation: 1973
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAAN View Post
True, but it is a well known fact that believers are having sex outside of marriage more than nonbelievers now a days .
Really? Do you have statistics handy to back that up? I completely agree that our churches are full of hypocrites...but MORE than nonbelievers? Really?
Quote:

its seems like no matter what advice they get or what they see in scriptures, they will still have sex anyways. Even the most super saved folks I know ended up giving in.
Not always. My wife and I waited until we were married. I know other couples that say they did the same (of course, I realize they may be lying).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Christianity
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top